Taking a shower in the bathhouse, I ran into my girlfriend and her father in the bathroom! Just out of the bath, her father took out a box of cigarettes and gave them to me. I was embarrassed to say, "Uncle I can't smoke!" Her dad said:

Taking a shower in the bathhouse, I ran into my girlfriend and her father in the bathroom! Just out of the bath, her father took out a box of cigarettes and gave them to me. I was embarrassed to say, "Uncle I can't smoke!" Her father said, "Don't pretend to me, I'm not sure who I'm going to give my daughter to." "I listened, thought about it, and took out the box of Chinese from the cabinet!" He said, "Uncle 15 cigarettes I can't get used to, come and smoke mine." ”

2. The rich second generation wife has eight sisters, relatives are particularly large, and the son receives a lot of money during the New Year, and becomes rich. One day, he was reading "Armor Warrior" in the living room and said to me, "Dad, I want to wash my feet and help me fetch water." I replied, "Do your own thing!" He said lightly, "A hundred pieces." I hurriedly said, "Don't tell your mother." "Just like that, within a few days I made three or four thousand!" Seeing that her son was about to start school, her wife said, "Son, take all the money for the year, and your mother will help you save it." The son replied, "It's all for my dad." ”

3. Our company has been losing money for half a year and has been laying off employees. Today, the boss spoke, his breath was heavy and depressed, and everyone had uneasiness on their faces. When I got home, I said to my husband: Our company has run out of gas, and it is not far from bankruptcy! Husband said: Since you gave birth to a baby and resumed work in the past three years, three companies have closed down, you go to Wanda to work, first set a small goal, for example, first lose him a hundred million!

4. The rich man's wife made an appointment to go shopping with her little sister, and called back not long after leaving. With a crying voice, he said: "Husband, the wiper on our car is broken, the window is foggy, how can it not be clean, I dare not open, what to do?" "The rich man listened, frightened, hurry to see it, just arrived downstairs, a look at this foggy day, can see clearly is strange ...

5. After marrying his daughter-in-law, he did not plan to move out, so he lived with his parents and father. Today I drank with my buddies until very late before coming home, confused to see my mother mopping the floor, I took out 200 pieces and stuffed them into my mother's hand. Me: Mom, give you some pocket money, don't let my daughter-in-law know. My mom took the money and yelled, "Are you drinking again?" Me: Shhh, how do you know that? Mom: You see clearly, I am your daughter-in-law! Also, where did that 200 bucks come from, say! I:.......

6. Due to the recent pressure, after school, I asked everyone to go to the basketball court to play together, and my classmates accidentally fell down and dislocated their arms. The second goods buddy said: Don't move, I have learned how to pick up! Just listen to the clicks, clicks, clicks, and the crowd is amazed! Regardless of the screams of the parties, praise the capable people. The result became a fracture, which could have cost one or two hundred to get it done, and this goods lost thousands of people!

7. I work at Tomson Yipin, and in the evening, I drive Maiton to the market and buy a big fish. When I got home, I got a call from a customer and asked my wife to kill the fish. The wife and brother killed the fish once, and they were stunned for half a day and did not dare to do it. After a while, when I looked again, I saw my wife holding the fish in both hands and pressing the fish to the bottom of the water. Me: What are you doing here? Wife: I drowned it first.

8. After graduating from college, I began to live in the North Drift, and in order to survive, I went to Meituan to deliver takeaways, and my work was particularly busy. This day, when I was delivering takeaways, I suddenly received a call from my mother. The old mother said quietly, "Son, how long have you not been home?" It's been almost half a year! Your dad and I miss you a lot, and your dad says that no matter what he does now, his eyes are your shadow. I was in tears and my heart was sour, and I said, "Mom, I'll take a leave of absence to go home tomorrow!" What is Dad doing now? Mom: "I was feeding the donkey just now, and now I'm feeding the pigs." ”

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #