1, the company leader's mother died of illness, I found out the gray suit to wear for the wedding. When it was hot, I just wore pants and put my coat in my bag. When I got outside the shed, I hurriedly put it on and bowed, and the leader rushed over

1, the company leader's mother died of illness, I found out the gray suit to wear for the wedding. When it was hot, I just wore pants and put my coat in my bag. When I got outside the spiritual shed, I hurriedly put it on and bowed, and the leader rushed over to a flying foot, scolding in his mouth: Why did you come to worship heaven and earth with my mother? ...... I really didn't notice that the groom's little red flower was not on his chest...

2. Teach everyone how to deal with touching porcelain. If you go to help someone and let someone blackmail you, then you only need to take out your wallet, how much? Take it yourself! The moment he takes his wallet, you fly up and yell: Catch the thief! Well, that's it, pass on the true energy, starting from me, I hope you will do more good deeds!

3. Female blind date. Q Man: Do you have a car? The man took out his driver's license. Then I asked the man: Do you have a room? The man took out a title deed. The woman asked: Do you fly a plane? The man took out another airplane pilot's license. The woman also asked: Do you drive a train? The man took out a train driver's license. The woman asked, "Then what do you do?" The man said: I am a professional to handle fake certificates.

4, christmas night when the Internet to see the status of friends and replies, feel that this is a god horse world. The status of a female woman is as follows: a boy holding a tall bear in one hand and sending text messages quickly with the other hand, I know that there is a girl who wants to be happy. Ground Floor: Maybe a guy is happy and your mind isn't open. Second floor: Maybe one boy is unhappy, the other is going to be happy, and your mind is not open. Third floor: Maybe one girl is happy, and then the girl passes happiness to another girl, and the idea is to open. 4th Floor: .........

5, during the daughter-in-law's love, she came to my house for the first time as a guest, and she was a little restrained at dinner. The old mother let her move the chopsticks more, these two goods do not know which tendon to smoke, suddenly awakened the rotary pen skill, the chopsticks turned quickly, the key is that she just finished sandwiching the sauce beef in the bowl and has not eaten.

6. The second uncle who opened a pig farm and became an upstart bought a Maybach and sold Alto, who had been driving for 5 years, to me. Today, I drove out for a ride with the Alto I had just bought, and when I crossed the street, I accidentally knocked a girl five meters away. I quickly got out of the car to check, saw that my sister looked very pretty, and said, "Rest assured that I will raise you for a lifetime." The girl looked up at me, got up from the ground and said, "I'm fine, you can go quickly." "Looking at the limping figure of the sister, there are still many good people."

7. In recent times, every night when I return home from work, I will chase a court drama with my husband. When the TV drama was performed to the emperor's concubine selection link, I asked my husband curiously: Honey, how did the ancient emperor choose the concubine? The husband said: The concubine requires the woman's skin to be delicate, to what extent, so to speak, a drop of ink dripping on the skin will not slip down. I asked charmingly, "What about the slave family?" My husband gave me a blank look and said: Oh, just you? You can write with a brush on your back!

8, I remember when I was in elementary school, my dad often beat me, went out to bake sweet potatoes, was found beating, stole pocket money from home, beat, anyway, I did not suffer less. I still remember that year sarsm, the whole village was confined, and those who had SARS had to go to the quarantine area, so my opportunity for revenge came, that day my father slept at home, I ran to the village and shouted: Come on people, my father is sick, but it is terrible, so the whole village came, my father was taken to the isolation area by the hospital with a confused face. Half a month later, my dad checked that nothing was wrong and put it back, and on that day, I ran under the setting sun, which was my lost youth.

9, many friends around them have said that their boyfriend's vision is poor, will not choose gifts. After listening to them, I really felt that I couldn't understand. My boyfriend's eyes are good, and the clothes and cosmetics he buys are very lining my skin tone. Until that day I saw his browser search history: should a short black and fat woman be paired with divine horse-like lipstick and clothes? I was heartbroken in an instant...

10, in the evening I bought a massage chair to go home to my wife, just moved the massage chair to the living room, my wife let me rest for a while, and said: Accompany me to drink some wine. I said: I'm ready to quit drinking! My wife said, "No, you have to have two drinks with me!" I said with grievance: Last night I was drunk and your eyes were blackened, and I don't drink it today! The wife said: You drink some, otherwise I will not find a reason to hit you!

11, last night and comrades-in-arms drinking, it seems to drink a lot, get up in the morning to find that the body is full of soil, look in the mirror and find that behind the body is very clean. Ask your comrades-in-arms, and your comrades-in-arms said: Last night, on the way back to your dormitory, you had to crawl forward, and you couldn't stop it.

12, the family is very poor, but I still want to live a rich life, or suddenly hit five million. One day my father said to me, "Son, in fact, our family is not a poor second generation." My heart clattered. Could it be that my father has been hiding something from me? Do my ancestors have heirlooms? Full of watching my father light a cigarette: "Our family has been poor for 12 generations" At that time, I wanted to vomit blood!

13, today at noon with his wife to cook a meal, colleagues took a look: "There is no appetite when you look at it." I was a little angry: "This is what my girlfriend made, not worse than a five-star restaurant." Colleague: "Unless you let me taste a piece of ribs, how can I believe it?" I clipped him a piece of braised pork ribs and I asked, "How's it going?" He said, "It's a little better than I thought, get me another piece." ”

14, the section chief is ready to go to the meeting, he bent down in the office drawer to find information, accidentally touched his head on the table, the section chief covered the forehead of the swollen bag into the conference room and muttered: the meeting will be held, non-notice what meeting!