My mother-in-law quietly pulled me to my bedroom and asked, "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, this car."

My mother-in-law quietly pulled me to my bedroom and asked, "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, I am tired of driving this car, and I will sell you at the right price." I tentatively asked, "80,000?" The mother-in-law exclaimed, "So little? I bought it for more than $5 million. I was distressed: "But my salary is not much, now this little money!" Mother-in-law: "Then now make up 920,000 dowry for you, and this car is sold to you for 1 million." "Dad called to say that the family was demolished, and I immediately resigned to beat Didi and went home to get money. The car came, I didn't expect it to be a Honda Civic icon, driving or beautiful. I asked the beauty: "Driving a luxury car and working part-time, you are not bad for these few dollars, why?" Beauty smiled contemptuously at me, "I just like to see you poor ghosts stunned, envious and puzzled." "At that time, I couldn't help but scold her and cry, and after getting out of the car, I resolutely gave her a five-star praise!

2. Video chat with my daughter-in-law in the evening and tell her I just finished getting the vaccine. Who knew that she suddenly changed her face and asked me: What about your money for vaccinations? I asked with a confused face: What money, vaccinations are free! The daughter-in-law said with a serious face: Don't think I don't know, there are three hundred yuan for vaccination in Shanghai, send me the money quickly. At this time, my mother also came to me and said: Yes, call the money quickly, my daughter-in-law and I just went to eat hot pot. Hearing this, my heart was suddenly cold, and I said with tears: Have you forgotten that I have been going to Chengdu for more than a month, and I am no longer in Shanghai.

3. My brother was a little insensitive to arithmetic when he was a child, and no matter how grandpa taught him, he just couldn't remember. Grandpa patted the little grandson and sighed and said, "I don't know how to teach, I don't understand such a simple arithmetic, and when I grow up, I am not blamed by my daughter-in-law' pit?" The brother replied with tears in his eyes: "I can herd sheep," Grandpa said, "shepherding sheep?" You know if the sheep are lost, it's also a matter of arithmetic. The brother looked at his grandfather with a dissatisfied face: "Can't I keep one?"

4. The brother-in-law found a bank card in the park, and the card also read: Password 000333! He was ecstatic and hurried to a nearby bank to withdraw the money. The brother-in-law handed the bank card to the staff, and then nervously entered the password, fortunately the password was correct. The staff member asked, "Sir, how much money are you going to?" The brother-in-law had the courage to say, "Two hundred thousand." The teller actually said: "I'm sorry, 60,000 and above must be booked in advance, please ask you to make an appointment?" The brother-in-law was surprised and said, "Well, then I'll take fifty thousand first." Staff: "I'm sorry, you don't have any money in this card!" ”

5. The prisoner received a letter from his wife: You have gone to prison, no one has turned over a few acres of land in our family, my in-laws can't move, I am not in good health, and I have to see my children.

The prisoner replied: Don't plough the ground, there are guns buried in the ground.

A month later, my wife replied: The police came in batches 3 or 4, turned our home several times, tired enough to vomit blood and did not find the gun, where did you hide the gun?

The prisoner replied: It doesn't matter, you hurry up and farm, I can't help you with anything else!

6. A local tycoon took his wife to visit the gold jewelry store, in order to show his magnanimity, he pointed to the gold in the container and asked the waiter very proudly: "How much is this thing a pound?" The waitress glanced at him and said lightly, "100." What, 150? That weighed sixty pounds to me. The waiter obediently complimented, pressed the calculator a few times, and said lightly again: "Hello, a total of 7.05 million." "What? 7.05 million? Isn't it 100 pounds? The local tycoon was a little annoyed. "You are wrong, we buy gold according to the number of grams, you ask me how much is a pound, I can only tell you the truth, 100 money is equal to a pound."

7. I thought I didn't look good, secretly took my mother's credit card, and spent 68,000 yuan to go for plastic surgery. After the operation, I felt like a changed person, and with my outstanding appearance, I went to a listed group to serve as a personal secretary to the president. Today, when I go to work, I will organize the materials for the speech to be used by the president. The boyfriend suddenly called and said, "Honey, I won the lottery, won a few million, let's divide it!!! I said excitedly, "Okay, we're divided." "Then the boyfriend told me he broke up!!!

8. See a loving couple walking hand in hand. The girl accidentally fell, her knees on the ground, her eyes tearful. The man immediately took out his mobile phone and shot it from all angles, and the woman cried angrily. The man put away his mobile phone: "The ground is cold, hurry up!" I've already taken a photo for you, wait enough for you to send space, circle of friends, vbo. At this time, the girl smiled and giggled and climbed up: "Honey, or you know me best." ”

9. Dad suddenly transferred me 1,000,000 with an accompanying message saying, "Happy birthday son!" ”

I thought it was strange, but I took it anyway.

A few minutes later, Dad sent a message again: "Transfer the money back to me!" ”

Me: "Why did you turn back again?" Isn't that a birthday red packet? ”

Dad: "Just now with my brother, they said I don't have any money, I will transfer it to you in a huff to let them see, is today really your birthday?" ”

Me: "I told my mother that you hid 1,000,000 private rooms."

money! ”

Dad: "You didn't say you wanted to buy a Maybach last time, I'll accompany you tomorrow." ”

10. The child has gone to kindergarten, but suddenly received a call from the teacher saying that he hoped that my child could transfer schools, and I hurriedly said: I will discipline the naughty children, but can you not transfer ah", teacher: There are more naughty than him, we did not ask them to transfer schools! It's just your kids... Hearing the teacher's desire to stop talking, I quickly asked: Why is that, teacher: During this time, some classmates have been successfully dissuaded by your children...

11. A man goes to the bank to withdraw 1,000 yuan, and when he counts to 600 yuan, he puts the money in his pocket. The bank clerk asked, "Why don't you finish counting?" and the man said, "After counting so much, there should be no mistakes in the back!" ”。。。。 #Funny Scene of the Year # #搞笑一刻 #