Four years ago, in the summer, 29-year-old Li Xueke decided to fulfill her wish to be a mother before the age of 30.
At that time, she experienced several periods of emotions that ended in a hurry, and found it difficult to devote herself to her feelings, and she did not want to get married in order to have children, and gradually had the idea of having children.
In the autumn of 2018, after visiting Thailand for three months, Li Xueke selected a medical institution for IVF through an intermediary. Immediately after, she injected ovulation, retrieved eggs, selected a British sperm, implanted three embryos at once, and successfully implanted them all. After that, in order to save the fetus, she gave more than 140 injections of progesterone.
But all this, she carried out secretly, not daring to tell anyone. After Li Xueke returned to China, he once tested his mother's views on doing IVF, and the other party was worried about gossip, felt that it was too hard to take a child alone, and resolutely opposed it. Therefore, she hid the fact that she was pregnant from her mother, and then on the pretext of work, she went alone to Zhuzhou, Hunan Province, more than 900 kilometers away from her hometown of Heze, Shandong.
In July 2019, Li Xueke gave birth to triplets by caesarean section in a hospital in Zhuzhou City, one three pounds six two, one three pounds seven two, one three pounds two two.
Mother Li Miaodan said that she usually talks to her daughter about everything, but she did not expect that when her daughter was about to leave confinement, she knew that the other party was pregnant and gave birth, and felt both heartache and guilt. As a single mother, she knows the hardships of a woman raising her children alone.
Li Miaodan and daughter Li Xueke. The pictures in this article are provided by the interviewees
In 1992, Li Miaodan divorced her husband, and three-year-old Li Xueke began to live with her mother. Li Miaodan remembers that when her daughter was a child, she was introverted and stubborn, wanted a complete home, and often sang "Daddy has a home, Mom has a home, leaving me alone..." Every time she hears this song, Li Miaodan's tears will be uncontrollable.
Li Miaodan worked as a worker, and after leaving the factory, she sold clothes, opened a barbershop, and almost single-handedly pulled her daughter up.
Li Xueke remembers that there were several times when her mother had no money, and she called her father to ask for living expenses. The next day, the phone turned off. In the fourth grade, she went to live with her father for a year, when he had remarried. Once, when she was doing her homework in the room late, Dad came into the room, thinking she had been playing, and slapped her indiscriminately. She soon moved out of her father's house and never went back.
Li Xueke said that she had cried several times and told her father that she would break off the father-daughter relationship.
In order to take care of her daughter, Li Miaodan has not remarried since then. When Li Xueke was four years old, Li Miaodan sent her to learn dance. At the beginning, Li Xueke was timid, did not dare to jump, and did not learn well. Later, she slowly became cheerful and danced better and better.
When Li Xueke was in the sixth grade, he was one meter six nine in height. Once, Li Miaodan saw that Heze City held a model contest and helped her sign up for her daughter, wanting her to exercise. That time, Li Xueke passed the audition, the preliminary round, the rematch, and finally did not enter the final. But it was this experience that brought her into the modeling industry. Since then, Li Xueke has participated in model competitions many times, and has gone to many places alone and won many awards.
In 2006, Li Xueke participated in the Shanghai Model Contest and won the championship.
Li Miaodan said that she did not have the time and financial conditions to accompany her daughter to participate in competitions in other places, and thus exercised the other party's independent ability.
After graduating from junior high school, Li Xueke chose a modeling professional high school in Qingdao, but when she graduated from high school, she did not enter the ideal university and gave up other schools.
That year, Li Xueke was 17 years old, and after working in Jinan for half a year, he went to Shanghai alone.
She works as a model in Shanghai and earns 20,000 yuan a month. In 2008, the Wenchuan earthquake, many model contests, exhibitions, etc. were cancelled. Li Xueke had nothing to do, returned to Heze City, and decided to hold a summer vacation modeling training class in his hometown.
She rented a venue, braved the scorching sun, and ran outside to hand out leaflets everywhere.
Li Xueke still remembers that the night before the class, she cried nervously for a night. On the first day, only one student came, the second day came three, and on the third day came five... Later, more and more students signed up. Throughout the summer, Li Xueke sang and danced, and attended eight hours of classes every day.
In the autumn of that year, in order to support his daughter's career, Li Miaodan sold the only property in the family and turned the model training class into a model training school.
In 2013, Li Xueke began to do micro-business. After that, she partnered with others to do business and achieved financial freedom.
In the meantime, she talked about several boyfriends, and each time she thought she would marry and have children with each other, but each time she was disappointed. Li Xueke said that the last time she fell in love was four years ago, and the two broke up unhappily. After that, she planned to "find the right person to marry at the age of 30, so she will find a way to have children alone."
"I just want to have my own children," said Ms. Li, who was worried that it would be difficult to have children when she was older, so she set a time limit for herself.
After the birth of the child, for a period of time, Li Xueke fell into postpartum depression. She felt like a feeding machine, and every day, three children cried in a mess and scrambled to climb on top of her to feed. Sometimes, she had just hugged her little daughter, and the two brothers were angry again, crying uncontrollably. In addition to this, seeing the scars left by the caesarean section also made her feel anxious and panicked. Li Xueke said that in order to remove the scar, she had gone to the treatment five times, and each time she had more than a dozen injections, penetrating the entire scar, but the effect was not obvious.
Later, she slowly accepted all this, including taking care of her three young children, both as a mother and a father.
She felt that as long as she saw these three little faces, everything was worth it.
Li Xueke and her three children
The following is the conversation between the surging news reporter and Li Xueke:
IVF
The Paper: Why do you want to do IVF?
Li Xueke: In the past, every time I fell in love with someone, I thought about marrying and having children with each other. After talking a few times, I found out that this was not the life I wanted. They wanted to find a decent woman, to work, to work, to be at home with kids, and I wanted to start my own business. Especially in the last relationship, the other party is extremely controlling, has a mental PUA, I have to be with him 24 hours a day, this life is simply hell on earth. I lived a simple life, I was used to living with my mother, and later I felt that there was no need to form a family, facing my in-laws and mother-in-law, the whole family of the other party... I don't like this kind of life. I've always loved kids and wanted to have kids before I was 30. In 2018, I was 29 years old and decided to go for IVF. In fact, before that, I thought that IVF was a child growing up in an IVF, and then I slowly understood how it worked.
The Paper: Do you have friends around you who have ever done IVF?
Li Xueke: No. Heze is a small city, I have not heard of anyone around me doing IVF, and it is even more impossible for a single woman like me.
The Paper: Did you tell your mom to do a test tube?
Li Xueke: At first, I didn't dare to tell my mother, but then I transferred the embryos and became pregnant, and I told her that I didn't plan to get married in my life, and I wanted to do IVF and have a baby of my own. My mom can understand that I don't get married because she's also a loser in marriage, and many of her friends are divorced, but she can't accept that I don't get married and have children, and she thinks it's too hard for a woman to raise children, and there's a lot of gossip, especially in our small city. I remember that she was very firm and reacted violently, so frightened that I did not dare to say anything further.
A photo of Li Xueke during her pregnancy
The Paper: When did she know you were pregnant and had a baby?
Li Xueke: After I gave birth to a child, I was about to leave the confinement, so I sent my mother photos and videos of the child, and told her that I had a child. In fact, in the first three months of pregnancy, I lived with my mother in Shandong, and she did not find out that I was pregnant. Later, I went to Hunan because of my work and chose to stay there until the birth of my child. Usually, my mother and I talk like friends and sisters, talking about everything. At that time, I was afraid that she was worried, so I chose not to tell her. Later, my mother told my friend about this matter, saying that she was very guilty, and she did not accompany me at that time, and they all cried... When I found out, I felt quite selfish.
The Paper: When children are born, what is the first time you see them?
Li Xueke: It's too ugly, my first reaction, is this my child? The doctors hugged me one by one, and the more I looked at it, the more I collapsed, how one was uglier than the other! I suspected the transplant was wrong because they didn't look like mixed-race babies either, and I called to ask. However, later the child looks better the older he gets.
Gossip
The Paper: You are not married, how did you do IVF?
Li Xueke: At the time I did it, single women were not allowed to do IVF in China, and they had to have a marriage license, and only two couples could do it. So I later went to Thailand to do IVF.
The Paper: We learned that Thai law stipulates that you can only go to the hospital for IVF with a marriage license.
Li Xueke: I don't know, I was looking for an agent at that time, I only took my ID card and passport, and they took me to the Thai hospital to do the formalities.
The Paper: Can you tell us about your specific past experiences?
Li Xueke: They took me and signed some documents, but the documents were all in English, and I couldn't understand them. Then ovulation injections, ovulation ... I went to Thailand three times, the first time to retrieve eggs, the second time to transplant, and after the transplant failed, the third time was also to transplant.
The Paper: Can a single woman apply for a birth medical certificate after becoming pregnant? Do your children have difficulties in getting into the house?
Li Xueke: I remember that at that time, the hospital also asked about the child's father's situation, but there was no impact, with the ID card, household registration book, you can directly handle these procedures. My mother gave the children to go to the household, and the household registration police also asked about this, and then they went to the children's homes very smoothly.
The Paper: Why do you want to have three children?
Li Xueke: I didn't want to have three, at most two. Because the first transplant was not successful, the second doctor suggested one more transplant, so that the probability of success is a little greater, but I did not expect that all three children were successful. The doctor later advised me to reduce the fetus, but I didn't want to give up any life and insisted on giving birth to all three children.
The Paper: Why choose the sperm of foreigners, do you worry about gossip?
Li Xueke: My career is quite successful, but in the small city of Heze, everyone does not think that I have gained it by hard work. They said that I looked so beautiful, I must have been raised by someone, and this gossip has never stopped. I was worried that if I chose to have a Chinese baby, they would think that I had made someone else's little three and secretly gave birth to an illegitimate child. So I decided to choose a foreigner's sperm. Another reason is that I especially like mixed-race babies and think they look good.
As long as enough love is given to the child, whether there is a father or not does not matter much
The Paper: Why would you want to make this public?
Li Xueke: At the beginning, I had internal struggles and worries, so I didn't dare to say this thing, and even went to a strange city to give birth alone. When the child was full moon, I sent a circle of friends and found that there were many people who envied me and thought that I had lived the life that many women wanted to live. Later, I thought that since I did it, I couldn't hide it. As a mother, if I can't face this, how to make my child face it. So, I decided to go public.
Li Xueke took a photo with her child during confinement
The Paper: Did you think that making this matter public would cause controversy in public opinion?
Li Xueke: I knew that my article would definitely cause controversy when it was sent, but I didn't expect such a big reaction. Single women doing IVF, which is still rare in China, has impacted some people's family concepts, some people question, but some people support it.
The Paper: Who do you think supports you? Who are the people who question and oppose you?
Li Xueke: Most of the people who oppose me are men, most of the women support me, and some women envy me. They envied me for being free, financially independent, having my own children, not being angry with my other half, not arguing, and having my own career.
The Paper: The role of parents is different, the love given to children is also different, will you worry about the lack of paternal love for your children?
Li Xueke: I was raised by my mother alone, my mother gave me enough love, and I did not feel that I was any different from others, it gave me more motivation, let me become strong and independent. So I think that as long as you give them enough love and let them grow up in a loving environment, whether there is a father or not is not very important. Many people marry in order to have children, in order to pass on the generations, and there is not much affection between parents. My kids, apart from not having a dad, I try to satisfy them, both financially and emotionally.
The Paper: If the children are a little older, they ask who the dad is and where is the dad, how do you answer?
Li Xueke: I will tell them the truth and tell them how their mother made the decision and how they came to this world.
Have the ability and confidence to raise children
The Paper: While you are a mother, you want to be a father, which part of the role does more or better?
Li Xueke: My children don't have a father, so I have to earn money to support my family, and I also have to take care of several children. My personality is more like my father, more severe, and I am angry, but I feel that I take on the role of mother more.
The Paper: How do you think you are different from the original after you became a mother?
Li Xueke: My previous life was very free, dashing, running all over the world. Now, when I go out for two days, I will miss my children and travel no more than three days. But I often feel a sense of happiness, although there are also times when there are chicken feathers.
The Paper: You often take videos of your children and post them on the Internet, do you worry about the impact on them?
Li Xueke: At the beginning, I wanted to record some of my good life with my babies, so I brought them into short videos. I feel that I have not hurt anyone, and what I have done is not a shameful thing, so I am willing to take it to the public platform to talk about it. Of course, if they grow up, have their own ideas, and don't want to shoot anymore, I will also respect their wishes.
The Paper: How much does it cost for three babies a month?
Li Xueke: The expenses of the three babies, plus my living expenses, buying clothes and things, about 100,000 yuan a month. The cost of the three aunts is 20,000, plus we usually eat and wear, and the living expenses are about 10,000; in addition, there are baby milk powder, nutritional products, diapers, toys, help them apply for early education classes, etc. I didn't do it in detail, I just calculated how much I would spend the next year. They go to kindergarten next year, and I am currently inspecting a private kindergarten in Hangzhou, with a tuition fee of 283,000, about 350,000 a year for one child, and more than 1 million for three children.
The Paper: Do you have any worries about the future? Let's say there is no such economic income?
Li Xueke: The future of every family is uncertain, and I think as long as I work hard and keep pace with the times, I can still support them. Even in the worst case, if I can't make money in the future, it should not be a problem to support them both to adulthood with existing assets, so I have the confidence to have three children.
Marriage is a piece of paper
The Paper: If you meet the right person in the future, will you still get married?
Li Xueke: I won't get married, but I may fall in love, because I think marriage is a piece of paper, and it will involve a lot of legal issues.
The Paper: Do you not believe in love anymore, or are you worried that marriage will have an impact on children?
Li Xueke: I don't think there is any need to get married, you can live with me, so go on like this, there is no need to get that piece of paper. Even if you are married and your feelings are broken, you will still divorce, so why do you have to do that piece of paper? In addition, I was worried that my career would be very successful and that the other party would divide my property. What do you think marriage can guarantee?
The Paper: Can it give children a sense of security and allow them to have a complete home?
Li Xueke: I will give my children enough love, emotional and material security to make them feel safe enough.
The Paper: Are you worried that your behavior will affect your child's view of marriage and love?
Li Xueke: Don't worry. I don't interfere with the love and marriage of my children, they get married if they want to, they don't get married if they don't want to get married, as long as they live their own lives.
The Paper: What are your plans for your child's future?
Li Xueke: There is no long-term plan. My children, whatever they want to learn, I will support; what degree of learning, can only rely on themselves. I don't ask them how many points and how many places they will take, and they will all become talents in the future. I will be happy that they can get into college, and if they don't, I won't force them. I didn't get very good grades from childhood to adulthood, and although my grades were good when I was in junior high school, I didn't get into college. I don't quite understand that some parents pin their hopes on their children and ask them to achieve their dreams.
A single woman decides to test tube to have a child Poster Design: Wang Yu