According to statistics, the divorce rate in first-tier cities such as Beijing, Shanghai and Shenzhen has risen to more than 40%, and there is a steady upward trend.
What is more noteworthy is that due to the openness of society and the awakening of women's consciousness, the number of divorces in remote areas has also increased in recent years, and most of them are proposed by women.
The pictures in this article are all derived from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
It can be seen that the divorce rate in modern society is getting higher and higher, and with it, the proportion of single mothers has also increased.
The life of a single mother may be harder than you think
We see a widespread phenomenon in society -
Many men may remarry in a short period of time after divorce, and it will be easier to find the next one, especially "quality men" with better family conditions.
Relatively speaking, it is more difficult for women to quickly enter the next relationship, especially for women with children, the remarriage rate is often lower.
Although today's public opinion environment will be more tolerant of divorced women, there are still various practical reasons that hinder the pace of women's remarriage.
Fear of marriage
"Once bitten by a snake, I was afraid of the well rope for ten years." Women are emotional animals, and the harm brought to them by the previous marriage often makes them unforgettable, feeling that men are unreliable, so they dare not ask for love.
There are many potential hidden dangers in remarriage
In a popular variety show "Spring Day Delays Departure" during this time, it can be seen through the acceptance of these divorced guests to "start again" that women who have given birth to children tend to be more cautious when choosing the next relationship.
Falling in love is already so difficult, let alone remarriage!
In real life, single mothers with children, they are also the same, when choosing a partner to spend the rest of their lives together, not only to consider love, but also mixed with a lot of practical factors.
For example, the ex-husband's child support, the pressure on the remarried family and the acceptance of the child, but also consider the child's psychological changes, and if there is a current child, how the family should get along, and so on.
All of this will lead to a lack of self-confidence and the need to meet a "person who firmly chooses themselves" in order to be at ease to enter marriage again.
No wonder everyone says that divorce is only the first step, and there are still ninety-nine difficulties waiting for you to break through. Especially single mothers with sons, there are more barriers to break through.
A single mother with a son, more difficult to remarry?
Marriage experts sighed, "Single mothers, with sons, are the least popular in the marriage market." ”
This is actually related to the "feudal customs" and "stereotypes" in society.
For the older generation, the son is always inseparable from the blood lineage, pension and funeral, inheritance and so on. Therefore, they always pay attention to blood relations, not biological, always "outsiders".
Therefore, before women remarry, they should have many in-depth exchanges with the man's family because of this problem, so as to avoid friction in the future and family conflicts.
In addition, there is another point - the cost of raising sons is relatively higher.
In addition to the basic living expenses and education expenses from childhood to adulthood, it also involves marrying and having children in the future, preparing houses, cars and dowry money, which are not small expenses and have certain requirements for the man's economy.
But giving more does not necessarily mean getting the same reward. The man's family may consider that he is not the child's biological father, but only the "stepfather", and the child may not be able to give back to himself.
This series of practical factors will lead to some men, and even the family behind him, "retreating" and unwilling to choose divorced women with sons to marry.
Adult choices are actually the result of multi-party games, which is also the so-called cost of growth!
Do women have to give up happiness for their children?
Many single mothers are "sacrificial dedication" type, in their view, love is gone, the child has become their own, so everything will be for the sake of the child first.
For their sake, they will not hesitate to give up their own happiness.
I met a single mother before, in order not to let her son be wronged, divorced for more than ten years, until the child went to college, began to consider their own life happiness.
Seeing this, I always feel that maternal love is really great and cruel.
In this regard, education experts believe that parents always underestimate their children's ability to resist blows and accept it.
Many times, the spirit of mothers sacrificing everything for their children will sometimes bring great pressure to their children, especially when their children grow up and realize their mother's sacrifice, how painful it should be, but the regrets of the past do not know how to make up.
Remember that there is a debate in "Strange Story": my parents want to remarry someone I don't like, should I obstruct it?
Debater Chen Ming shared the story of Xiao Xiao, a member of the team, when Xiao Xiao was 10 years old, his father died, and when he was 12 years old, his mother brought an uncle home, which made his son very disliked.
In the eyes of the child, if he easily accepts the new father, it is a betrayal of his biological father, and he cannot accept such a self. So I tried my best to hinder my mother's "happiness", all kinds of face dumping, tantrums, and tossing adults.
But until he was 28 years old, Xiao Xiao regretted his original actions and regretted letting his mother give up marrying that uncle. Because when he grew up, he finally understood that his mother's difficulty, she shouldered the burden of "raising a family", and there should always be someone to share.
"When I was a child, I was always afraid of losing her, but when I grew up, I wanted someone to accompany her."
This is the inner monologue of a child who grew up in a single-parent family. It can be seen that for children, the happiness of mothers is actually very important.
I hope that you single mothers can correct their mentality, life is only once, sometimes you should think about yourself, if you meet someone with a relationship, you may wish to consider it, do not refuse the arrival of happiness, believe that you are also worthy of the right to be loved.