1． At night, after work, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" ”

1． At night, after work, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" I was shocked and quickly kicked open the bedroom door, which was empty. The daughter pointed to the kitchen: "There! "I ran to the kitchen with lightning speed and was about to get angry. I saw my husband pulling on my sister's apron and saying, "Quick, take off the apron, in our house, how can I let you cook!" ”......

2. When learning to drive, the coach suddenly asked me: When the typhoon strikes, you feel that the body is laterally offset, what should you do? I said I didn't understand it, and the coach said it again: the moment of the shift, the wheel was off the ground. I replied cautiously: The front wheel is off the ground? Then increase the throttle and grasp the steering wheel? Coach a black line: Why? I said with a straight face: It has already taken off anyway, so fly high, and if you are lucky, you can fly home!

3 There was a young woman in our unit, who had just been divorced, called me and asked me to go to her house to help her dredge the sewer pipes, and to have dinner and drink two glasses of wine at her house. I rushed to the female colleague's house with my tools! The husband of the female colleague is in business, very rich, and left a large amount of money and a large house for the female colleague after the divorce. I thought that if I could get the favor of my female colleague and chase her in my hand, I would be able to struggle for several years less, I helped my female colleague dredge the sewer pipe in the bathroom, and the female colleague was very happy, cooked several dishes, and drank with me. As a result, I couldn't drink enough, and I soon fainted. The female colleague's face was rosy, and her eyes were confused and asked me, can you still drink? If you can't drink it, rest it! I thought to myself that my female colleague is a little looking down on my alcohol intake, so how can it work? In order to gain her favor, I opened another bottle of wine, desperately forced to drink, and finally I drank and vomited, drunk from the dining room to the living room, from the living room to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, balcony... Then, my female colleagues and I didn't have a then!

4 When she first got married, her daughter-in-law was not happy with sauce, but later she had children, and she became particularly disgusted with sauce. Yesterday, my daughter-in-law bought some sauces to go home, and I asked incomprehensibly: Don't you hate these the most? Wouldn't it be April Fool's Day, whole me with sauce? Daughter-in-law: Who celebrates that foreign festival! I keep it for myself! Two years ago, I had to give my child and pee, and when I saw the sauce, I remembered... feel nauseated! Now that my son is older, I continue to eat the big sauce.

5, a two-time boyfriend, the same system of different departments. Two days ago, he played and flashed his waist, and he had to support his waist when he walked. There are dirty colleagues who discuss: Little X is powerful, and the boyfriend's waist is not good... I'm so indefensible! The point is that this dog thing shows a shy expression when it hears others say this! Shy your sister is your own ball play bad good! Is my name still saved!!!

6, guys, this is the floor tile I saw in the hospital two months ago, and I saw a polar bear on it. I thought it was cute and took a picture. Now looking through the photos to see how this can not be found. Do you have good eyesight?

7, the company's manager worked overtime until very late, suddenly anxious, so he went to the toilet. After the end of the matter, the manager found that there was no paper, everyone left, which was broken! Wiped only money and mobile phones on the body, are reluctant to use. So the manager took out his mobile phone and dialed KFC's phone: trouble send a sucking finger original chicken as soon as possible, bring more paper. Address: The south side of the building, specially instructed, not the south side, is the men's toilet!

8, the company held a meeting, two female employees in the talk and laughter. The boss glanced at them, and the two of them immediately stopped squeaking, and then the boss said to them, "You two talk about why you can't make noise during the meeting?" One of them replied, "Because someone is sleeping." ”

9 When I went to work, my female colleague threw me a paper ball and motioned for me to look at it. I took a closer look and there was a number 1102 on it. I said it was completely different, in order to find out the truth, I took the paper ball to the boss, the boss looked at it and said: "You fool, room number!" "I say thank you. Back in the work room, I also wrote a piece of paper and threw it over: "I'm not that kind of person!" As a result, the female colleague angrily tore up the paper ball and came over and said, "Brother, what do you mean, what kind of person do you mean I am?" I whispered, "When you gave me your room number, did you want to ask me to talk about work?" I said, "I can't do the company's layoffs, and it's useless to find me." This time the boss has the final say! The female colleague heard the words and said breathlessly: "Say it earlier!" With that she turned and walked, took a few steps and came back and said, "Brother." Don't get me wrong, my date is November 2nd is my birthday, I hope you give me a cake! "I was stunned, could it be that even the boss was wrong in analysis?" Impossible, before several female colleagues sent similar numbers, the boss guessed correctly. In the blink of an eye, on November 2nd, I brought a cake to my female colleague, hoping to be naughty, but I went to her house to find out that no one was there. I called the boss and asked him to eat cake with him, and the boss said busy, where did I say? He said in 1102. The old guy is very smart, just say the number, don't say the name, who knows where? I had no choice but to eat cake alone at the house of my female colleague. I had already figured out that if she didn't come home before ten o'clock, I'd eat all the cake and leave her with no bite. hum!

10 Two months with girlfriend! One day I found cigarette butts under the bed! I was stunned! When did I throw my cigarette butt under the bed! If she caught it, did it pay off? It must be a fat beating! So I quickly packed up my cigarette butts.

11 Last night, in the middle of the night, sleeping confused, my husband kissed over, stuffed some sugar into my mouth, lemon flavor jumping candy icon, I ate it, my husband shouted me a few times, I was confused and asked him, and sugar is not, very delicious, the result he was particularly angry and said, I went, turned around, today did not pay attention to me, dizzy, what did I do wrong? He fed me the sugar?

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #