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Many people will feel that as long as two people love each other enough, married life will be able to be happy and happy. Because love can overcome everything, even if you encounter some difficulties and setbacks, you will be defeated by this love.
Only people who have actually experienced married life will know how naïve such a thought is. The real married life is not as simple as two people falling in love, but to face the chai rice oil and salt in the marriage, as well as all kinds of trivial things.
If marriage is really so simple, there will not be so many people who are sad and disappointed in marriage, and even want to end the marriage.
Belinsky said: "Love needs reasonable content, just as a raging fire asks for oil to maintain it; love is the harmonious fusion of two similar natures in infinite feelings." ”
Love in marriage, more need some reasonable content, in order to better maintain the feelings between husband and wife, so that two people live together more harmoniously. Otherwise, a little tedious little thing can defeat marriage and consume love.
Perhaps everyone will feel that in a happy marriage, the husband is very fond of his wife and takes good care of his wife. But we need to know that the relationship between husband and wife is not maintained by pampering and caring.
Just like in many marriages, there is actually a mother-in-law relationship. Although some men love their wives, in front of their parents, they will still be a well-behaved child and blindly let their wives tolerate them indiscriminately. After a long time, family conflicts will break out.
A really good husband is not simply pampered and cared for, the most important thing is to do this, which is the best care for his wife. That is: understand her, respect her.
Yang Lan once said: "The most tenacious bond of marriage is not children, not money, but spiritual growth." Love is sometimes a kind of righteousness. ”
A good marriage is not maintained by simple material and feelings, but by the spiritual growth of both husband and wife.
As long as two people stand on the united front, understand each other, and respect each other, they can feel the sacredness of marriage.
Those men who regard marriage as a child's play, when they encounter contradictions and differences in life, the first thing they consider is their own feelings, so they often ignore each other.
When encountering a tricky thing, I only judge my own ideas and do not know how to consider half a point for my wife.
Such a man, who says that he loves his wife very much, works hard every day for the sake of this family, but in his wife's heart, he can't feel their care at all, and he can't feel their care.
No matter how nice they say it, it is difficult to make this marriage happy after all.
Husband and wife need a tacit understanding, a kind of respect that need not be said to be broken.
In a family, if a man does not understand the woman's mind and does not understand the woman's thoughts, it is easy to let the husband and wife slowly alienate their feelings.
If a woman does not feel these understandings and respects, there will be a lot of suspicion in her heart, worrying about whether the man has changed his heart, worrying about whether the man does not love her so much.
Balzac said: "A woman who is truly in love is more suspicious than having fun and changing tastes." Once she was abandoned, she could guess the meaning of a pose, and even the horse smelled the breath of stimulating love in the spring air, not so fast. ”
Without this trust between husband and wife, the relationship will be shaky, and various problems can arise at any time.
A happy couple, there must be a tacit understanding between them, many things do not need to say too much, you can understand each other's heart, understand each other's feelings.
Such respect and understanding does not require too many words, and a look and an action for each other is the best answer.
The greatest warmth in a woman's heart is that men can understand her and respect her.
Balzac said: "The happiness of marriage is not entirely based on eminent status and property, but on mutual reverence." The essence of this happiness is humble and simple. ”
We need to understand that a good marriage is not supported by material accumulation, not only by love, but more by the understanding and respect between husband and wife.
As long as this is done, married life can avoid a lot of troubles and contradictions, so as not to let this feeling be wantonly hurt, and women will not constantly experience disappointment and sadness.
Women all hope that marriage is their happiest harbor and can give themselves the greatest warmth, so that they can have more courage to move forward towards the future and have no regrets in their lives.
This warmth, to a large extent, comes from the way couples get along, from the attitude of men.
I often hear some men say to their wives: "I work hard every day to make money, just for this family, what are you not satisfied with?" ”
In this way, others will feel that women live happily, but only women themselves know in their hearts how much they are not understood and respected by their husbands.
When men say this, they are undoubtedly looking down on women and looking down on women, and naturally there is no understanding and respect.
If you want a family to be happy and harmonious, men must understand that the warmth that a woman needs is not some material enjoyment, but the understanding and respect you give him.
In this way, women can feel that the position between you is equal and the relationship between husband and wife is balanced.
The greatest care that men give to women is not a warm greeting, nor is it a holiday gift.
It's about feeling your understanding when a woman is most vulnerable; your respect when there's disagreement; and your right enlightenment when she's most anxious.
This kind of spiritual tacit understanding is the best way to maintain a love, and it is also the best care for the operation of the marriage.