In general, we all feel that divorced couples should stay out of touch, especially divorce that has caused harm.
However, in the drama "Xiao Min Family", Liu Xiaomin's relationship with her ex-husband Jin Bo is very difficult for us. Jin Bo, this person, can be said to be as annoying as much as he hates, from letting his son pay off the debt for him, to living in his ex-wife's house without consent, to wanting to remarry his ex-wife, the thickness of this face is about to catch up with the city wall.
However, Liu Xiaomin has repeatedly been "soft-hearted" to her ex-husband, not only tolerating him to come to the house every time to cook and eat, but also always to be kind to him. This makes us feel sorry for her at the same time, but also a kind of anger and dissatisfaction, we all hope that Liu Xiaomin can draw a clear line with Jin Bo, it is best not to meet and not to take care of him.
But why didn't Liu Xiaomin do that? If you understand her "soft heart" towards her ex-husband, then you also understand marriage.
What is marriage?
In my opinion, marriage is an invisible carrier that integrates love, responsibility, and obligation. It is different from love, whether it starts or ends, love affects only two people, but marriage affects many people. So we can see that in today's free marriage and voluntary divorce, there are still many people who are bound by marriage.
Take Liu Xiaomin, for example, she and her ex-husband Jin Bo have been divorced for many years, the custody of her son is not in her own hands, she has a stable job in a big city, a good income, she could have lived a dashing and comfortable life, she wanted to fall in love, and she wanted to get married, but what about her? Not really.
When she fell in love with Chen Zhuo, she was always reluctant to disclose it, afraid of being known by her respective families and children, which in addition to their relationship with Li Ping, was more worried about the acceptance ability and attitude of her family and children. Including their breakup later, although both of them said that they had nothing to do with the child, but in the final analysis, it was the child who was considered.
Therefore, marriage, once concluded, will produce a long-term bond. Especially those couples who have children, they will not be able to cut this bond because of children, and any choices and behaviors they make in the future need to take care of their children.
For them, marriage is not a place where you can be happy and vengeful, but a process that requires you to digest your emotions, properly put away your sharp edges, and adapt to each other in a stoic posture.
Therefore, their marriage, whether it is a white head and an old age, or a halfway parting, their relationship, whether it is happiness or suffering, is not up to them. This is a responsibility for marriage.
Liu Xiaomin's heart was soft.
When Liu Xiaomin and Jin Bo divorced and went to work alone in other places, until now, Jin Bo still told his son that his mother did not want him and left him to live a good life. But in fact, it was Jin Bo who refused to give custody to Liu Xiaomin no matter what, he snatched the custody, but left the child to the care of his former mother-in-law, causing the son to be very distant from his mother for a long time.
For a person like Jin Bo, it is reasonable to say that Liu Xiaomin should be far away and no longer have to care about his life and death. However, Jin Bo rushed to find his son, and Liu Xiaomin not only took him home and left him to eat, but also took the initiative to help him find a place to stay, and repeatedly tolerated his repeated uninvited visits.
Jin Bo also just grasped the characteristics of Liu Xiaomin's soft heart, selling misery in front of her vigorously, turning around and instigating his son to ask his mother for more money. It is such a man, it is conceivable that how much real feelings he can have for Liu Xiaomin? The funny thing is that he also wanted to remarry.
But why would Liu Xiaomin be soft-hearted? Did she really pity Jimbo, or did she really not know what kind of person Jimbo was? Of course not.
It's all just because she's a mom and a mom who hasn't been able to spend time with her kids. This is Liu Xiaomin's gain and comfort in the marriage she once had, and it is also the bond that she cannot give up with her ex-husband. She didn't want to see her son embarrassed, and she didn't want him to be hurt more, so she could only be kind to his father.
You see, marriage is like this, from the day you walk in, you have a certain responsibility. The day you leave, your responsibilities don't necessarily end with it. It is very likely that you will be held back by it all your life, and you must have some scruples and care about what you do.
What if Liu Xiaomin is not soft-hearted?
When Jin Jiajun first came to his mother's city to re-study, Jin Bo also rushed over, and he rushed over, not for the sake of the children, but because he owed a lot of money. At that time, if Liu Xiaomin didn't care about him, he might really have no place to live, really live on the street, and even faint on the street.
Of course, how he is has nothing to do with Liu Xiaomin, but Jin Jiajun is his son, and his father will be sad when he encounters him like this. If Liu Xiaomin didn't care about Jin Bo, she herself would be very clean and relaxed, and even gave a bad breath for what happened that year, but her son's sadness would make her heart ache more than her own sadness.
So as a mom, she can only be soft on her "ex-husband".
In fact, in many of our marriages, this is the case. We will find that there are many couples in life, obviously relatively silent about each other, life is not enjoyment but suffering, but they are not divorced. We think they're stupid, but they think it's worth it.
Their mood is nothing more than the same as Liu Xiaomin's. There is an inseparable bond between them, and they cannot do whatever they want, but only want to be happy for themselves.
Look, this is marriage, we always advocate living for ourselves, but in fact, who can really live only for themselves? In the past, I always felt that such a marriage would be very tiring, but in fact, if you think about it, this is life, when we still have people to worry about, some people to care, some people to care, this in itself, it proves the existence of a warm feeling.
You think, if one day, we don't care about anything, just want to do our own thing, just want to be happy and revenge, how terrible it will be?
This is Liu Xiaomin's helplessness and truth about her ex-husband's "soft heart". Marriage, in fact, is to compromise because of some care, because there is some scruples to be soft.) When your heart becomes as hard as iron, you no longer need marriage.
Therefore, we should not accuse such "soft heart", but should cherish every time the soft heart of ourselves and each other, it is precisely because of these soft hearts that marriage is worth looking forward to.
About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of articles in the emotional field and the analysis and answer of emotional questions, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.