I am a native of the countryside, my own conditions and family environment are not good, but because I have the strength to not accept defeat, so I have to read for a few more years than other peers in the same village.
But reading didn't completely change my destiny. Because, after I graduated from the provincial agricultural school, I was still assigned to work at the agricultural technology station in the town. Only later, with a relatively stable job, under the introduction of the unit leader, I married my current husband, Mr. Du, who teaches in the town.
In fact, Mr. Du's own conditions are not as good as mine, and his height is only 1 meter 58. However, his family conditions were much better than mine, his parents were state cadres who ate imperial food, and his brother and sister were intellectuals with units.
So, frankly, when I first married him, I actually didn't look at him, but the family behind him. I just hope that through such a family, I can truly change my destiny and completely escape from the countryside from now on.
However, the ideal is very full, the reality is very bone. My husband was transferred to the county's key high school in 1998, but I have been unable to enter the city for various so-called reasons. It wasn't until 10 years later, through my own efforts, that I was able to go into town.
To tell the truth, with the conditions and environment at that time, and according to the ability of his family, it was actually very easy to arrange for me to go into the city. Because, at that time, the father-in-law was already the main leading cadre in the county, and his brother and his sister's connections were also relatively wide.
But why don't you send me into town? Mainly because of his mother's so-called principles and obstructions.
His mother is the kind of person who has very good conditions herself, but she will look down on others from the bone. At that time, Mr. Du and I came together, and she almost openly objected. It's just that she's in the city, we're both in town, the mountain emperor is far away, she can't manage it at all. In addition, later I was unexpectedly pregnant, which hindered her family's face, so she reluctantly accepted me.
So, she's actually a particularly principled, refined egoist (smart person). In her eyes, the son is the son, the daughter-in-law is the daughter-in-law, the city people are the city people, the country people are the country people, the sons are no matter how bad, they are their own family, but even if the daughter-in-law is good, it will always be someone else's family.
Therefore, after understanding the situation, I did not count on it, simply single-mindedly relied on myself, and finally in 2008, through taking the internal examination, I successfully entered the city with a good result of the first place.
A year before I entered the city, my husband's eldest brother had been transferred to the city to work, and my sister-in-law had followed, and then we bought their original house and lived in the same neighborhood as my in-laws.
In fact, there was no way to do it, because we didn't have that much money in our hands at that time, but his eldest brother's money could be owed first. So, since then, my mother-in-law and I have almost looked down and looked up.
Frankly, I was resistant at first. Because, in my heart, I always think that she looks down on people and does not bring her into the city, so every time she lets us go to dinner, I just let my husband and son pass, and I try to avoid it as much as I can.
Then, in 2012, my father-in-law suffered a sudden cerebral hemorrhage, half of his body was unsuccessful, and he needed to be taken care of every day. Then, she was the kind of person who didn't particularly like outsiders, so she hired several nannies in a row, but she fired them. In the end, the burden had to fall on my husband and I.
And with the increasing time spent together, she also began to slowly understand me, always every three or five times in front of outsiders to say that I am good, praise me can bear hardships, do things steadily, good at learning, it is indeed getting better and better for me. Usually, her eldest son and daughter come over with something good, and she will do our best for our family of three at the first time.
In 2014, I gave birth to my second eldest, and she also took the initiative to give me 80,000 yuan, saying that it was a reward for me, and praised me in front of her brother that I had a big picture, saying that she had three children, and I was willing to have a second child, which is a contribution to the whole big family. A few years ago, my sister's husband, who also helped arrange kidney transplant surgery in Beijing through her mother's family's connections.
Perhaps, the relationship between people is so delicate. The same is true of the mother-in-law relationship, not being together has the advantage of not being together, but there are also opportunities to be together. If we hadn't lived together, maybe the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law would have been like that for a lifetime, and it would have been nice for me not to hate her in my heart, and she wouldn't have known more about me.
In fact, my mother-in-law is not a bad person at all. To put it bluntly, it is a little snobbish, her own previous conditions have always been relatively good, the first half of her life has been very smooth, and her father-in-law is dead to her, so although she is old, she can't see through the world, can't imagine the hardships of people living on the other side, and the pattern of dealing with the world is not big enough.
Only later, the father-in-law suddenly fell ill, the eldest son and daughter were not around, and my husband was the kind of person who could not do anything, so the two old people could only rely on a daughter-in-law like me in the countryside.
So, over time, one by one, she saw my goodness, knew how much the children who grew up from the bitter water loved life, and how much tenacity they could release in the face of the hardships of life.
She had never imagined that the people she had looked down on before had suddenly turned into people who could sparkle in front of her.
Therefore, she herself will now think: There is a way, there is no hundreds of red flowers, no thousands of people are good, life is alive, there is never an eternal good, there is no immutable bad. Not a family, do not enter a door, the son is not as good as the daughter-in-law, the last family must be a family,
However, when I say this, I don't mean to denigrate her. I just feel that in this life, people are going to throw while walking, and be sober while living.
Whether it is an elder or a junior, whether it is a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, we must learn to think in empathy, which is the basic law that every smart person should abide by.