Anchor | Jane Ning Text | Uncle North
It is often heard that people sigh:
"Loving each other is easy to be moved in an instant; getting along, it is difficult to keep it."
Yes, life goes around, and it is a great fortune to meet the other half of the heart, to stay together, to remain intimate forever, and to be wise to get along.
Many people love to the end not because they don't love, but because in the process of running-in, there is always constant demand, quarrel, and suspicion, so that love becomes a shackle and a burden.
Therefore, whether it is a lover or a couple, if you want to maintain an intimate relationship for a long time and steadily, you need to go through these 3 "abandonments".
Give up selfishness and willfulness, and compare hearts to hearts in everything
In the relationship, whether it is in love or living a life, he is most afraid of someone being selfish and wanton and not knowing it, no matter how patient and tolerant the other party is, he feels taken for granted.
Such a relationship is most likely to be out of balance and the most likely to lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
In the film and television drama "Growing Up with You", Gu Jiawei and Lin Yunyun, a couple, on the surface, "the husband makes money to support the family, and the wife is beautiful as a flower"; in fact, "the husband is arrogant, and the wife is careful to be small".
Gu Jiawei is self-centered in everything, he wants his home to be neat and clean, he wants his wife to be on call, he wants his daughter to be the first in his homework, but he pays little attention to his wife's tiredness and his daughter's growth.
His wayward behavior and turtle hair personality made Lin Yunyun feel tired and had to file for divorce.
Gu Jiawei waited until after the loss to understand his wife's hardships and his own meanness.
People are always mutual, no matter how good the feelings, can not withstand a long period of overdraft and selfish habits, even if they can not empathize with each other, but also learn to put themselves in the shoes of empathy.
I understand the hardships of raising your family, and you understand the difficulty of my household chores.
I feel sorry for you, you take care of me, give up selfishness and willfulness, treat each other with a cherished and caring mentality, and the feelings can be warm and long in the ordinary flow of years.
Good love is to compare hearts to hearts and return to sincerity; to respect and love each other, to foam at each other.
Give up accusations and complaints, and choose to understand and be considerate
There is a saying:
"Marriage is a bitten apple, and accusations and complaints are that gap. You can't stare at the gap, you have to let the heart not rot so that the marriage does not go bad. ”
That's true.
I remember that there was a small story in the novel "A Place of Chicken Feathers" that attracted people's thoughts.
Kobayashi rushed to work, the tofu he bought forgot to put in the refrigerator and broke it, and when his wife came back from work, she smelled the broken tofu and immediately became angry and began to accuse her husband of not being careful.
And Kobayashi was scolded by the leader for being late for work because he bought tofu in the morning, which was also angry. He complained that his wife would not clean up and would only nag.
The couple thus involved many trivial quarrels and quarrels, triggering a family war.
Examples of this abound in life.
No one wants to make a mistake, what has happened, since it is irreparable, it is better to understand more.
Blindly accusing and complaining will affect the feelings of two people and make the family relationship worse.
Living under the eaves, there is inevitably friction, encounter contradictions, resist blurt out the blame, say "it doesn't matter", "I understand", "you are hard", warm the heart, understand each other, the problem will naturally be solved.
Far-reaching love is tolerance, accommodation, kindness, and fulfillment.
Running a marriage is not easy.
May we all forgive others with a heart of forgiveness and love others with a heart of understanding, so that feelings can heat up and warm up and flow for a long time.
Let go of unwarranted suspicion and learn to be honest with each other
Unwarranted suspicion can always give rise to many gaps.
Maybe yesterday you and I were still talking about love, and in the blink of an eye, you can argue and say that you are separated, and the most tangled feeling is this, doubt when hugging, temptation when you communicate.
Just like the pair of rivals Fan Liuyuan and Bai Fringe in "Love in the Fallen City".
They had a chance to meet, but they repeatedly tried and suspected each other, and the relationship was almost unsustainable.
Even if Bai Liusu went to Hong Kong and went to Fan Liuyuan alone, they still doubted each other's sincerity and intentions.
Until later, when the war was raging, Fan Liuyuan did not leave alone, and chose to turn back to protect the white tassel. At the moment when life and death were put aside, they no longer had any suspicion and felt sorry for each other.
In reality, there are countless strong loves, because of half-belief, they dare not deliver their hearts, and finally they are not happy.
There are also countless bland feelings, because they tolerate the most sincere trust in the quiet good of the years, so the rest of their lives are stable.
In the vast sea of people, it is easy to know each other.
When you meet the person who does not want to live up to you, you treat each other sincerely, give up your doubts, open your heart, and feel the warmth of dependence and the harmony of emotions.
There is no need to hide, there is no need to deliberately conceal, two people who are sincere with each other can maintain the balance of emotional talents and spend their lives together.
Writer Baby Anne says:
"Good feelings are to accompany each other, but not to bind each other, not to entangle each other, the two stand side by side, watch the flowers blossom and fall in the world." 」
I agree.
The beginning of love is mutual attraction, if love wants to stay together for a long time, then you must know how to give up:
Abandon selfish and willful behavior, and compare the heart to the heart in everything;
Give up the words of accusation and complaint, and choose to understand and understand the truth;
Let go of unwarranted suspicion and learn to treat each other sincerely and keep true love.
The rest of his life is long, and he encourages him to do so.
Click to see, may you and I cherish the people around us, wind and rain in the same boat, happiness for a long time.
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