Text/BeiShu Source: Beishu Youyue (beishu2016)
It is often heard that people sigh:
"Loving each other is easy to be moved in an instant; getting along, it is difficult to keep it."
Yes, life goes around, and it is a great fortune to meet the other half of the heart, to stay together, to remain intimate forever, and to be wise to get along.
Many people love to the end not because they don't love, but because in the process of running-in, there is always constant demand, quarrel, and suspicion, so that love becomes a shackle and a burden.
Therefore, whether lovers or couples want to maintain an intimate relationship for a long time and steadily, they need to go through these 3 "abandonments".
-01-
Abandon selfishness and willfulness
Compare hearts to hearts in everything
In the relationship, whether it is in love or living a life, he is most afraid of someone being selfish and wanton and not knowing it, no matter how patient and tolerant the other party is, he feels taken for granted.
Such a relationship is most likely to be out of balance and the most likely to lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
In "Growing Up with You", he was deeply impressed by the couple Gu Jiawei and Lin Yunyun, on the surface " he earned money to support the family, she was beautiful as a flower " ; in fact , " he commanded, she bowed down and did small " .
Gu Jiawei is self-centered in everything, he wants his home to be neat and clean, he wants his wife to be on call, he wants his daughter to be the first in his homework, but he pays little attention to his wife's tiredness and his daughter's growth.
His wayward behavior and turtle hair personality made Yunyun feel tired, and he proposed a divorce, and waited until he lost Gu Jiawei to understand his wife's hardships and his own meanness.
People are always mutual, no matter how good the feelings, can not withstand a long period of overdraft and selfish habits, even if they can not empathize with each other, but also learn to put themselves in the shoes of empathy.
I understand the hardships of your family, you understand that it is not easy for me to manage the housework, I feel sorry for you, you take care of me, give up selfishness and willfulness, treat each other with a cherished and caring mentality, and the feelings can be warm and long in the ordinary flow of years.
Good love is to compare hearts to hearts and return to sincerity; to respect and love each other, to foam at each other.
-02-
Drop the blame and complain
Select Understanding
Writer Rui Xi said:
"Some people say that marriage is a bitten apple, and accusations and complaints are that gap. You can't stare at the gap, you have to let the heart not rot so that the marriage does not go bad. ”
True.
I remember that there is a small story in the novel "A Place of Chicken Feathers" that is thought-provoking.
Kobayashi rushed to work, the tofu he bought forgot to put in the refrigerator and broke it, and when his wife came back from work, she smelled the rotten tofu and immediately became angry and began to accuse her husband of not being careful.
And Xiaolin was scolded by the leader for being late for work because he bought tofu in the morning, and he was also angry, complaining that his wife would not clean up but only nagging, which involved many trivial things and quarrels, triggering a family war.
Examples of life abound.
No one wants to make a mistake, what has happened, since it is irreparable, it is better to have more understanding, blindly accuse and complain, but let the feelings of the two people affect, so that the family relationship is worse.
Living under the eaves, there is inevitably friction, encounter contradictions, resist blurt out the blame, say "it doesn't matter", "I understand", "you are hard", warm the heart, understand each other, the problem will naturally be solved.
Far-reaching love is tolerance, accommodation, kindness, and fulfillment.
Running a marriage is not easy.
May we all forgive ourselves and forgive others, and love others with a compassionate heart, so that our feelings can heat up and warm up and flow for a long time.
-03-
Abandon groundless suspicion
Learn to be honest with each other
Unwarranted suspicion can always give rise to many gaps.
Maybe yesterday you and I were still talking about love, and in the blink of an eye, you can argue and say that you are separated, and the most tangled feeling is this, doubt when hugging, temptation when you communicate.
Just like the pair of rivals Fan Liuyuan and Bai Fringe in "Love in the Fallen City".
When they first met, they repeatedly tried and suspected each other, and the relationship was almost unsustainable. Even if Bai Liusu went to Hong Kong and went to Fan Liuyuan alone, they still doubted each other's sincerity and intentions.
Until later, when the war was raging, Fan Liuyuan did not leave alone, and chose to turn back to protect the white tassel, even the moment when life and death were ignored, they no longer had any suspicion and felt sorry for each other.
In reality, there are countless strong loves, because of half-belief and half-doubts do not dare to deliver the true heart, and finally dispersed without joy, there are also countless bland feelings, because of the tolerance of the most sincere trust in the years of quiet good, so the rest of life is stable.
In the vast sea of people, it is easy to know each other.
When you meet the person who does not want to live up to you, you treat each other sincerely, give up your doubts, open your heart, and feel the warmth of dependence and the harmony of emotions.
There is no need to hide, there is no need to deliberately conceal, two people who are sincere with each other can maintain the balance of the emotional balance and spend a lifetime together.
-04-
Writer Baby Anne says:
"Good feelings are to accompany each other, but not to bind each other, not to entangle each other, the two stand side by side, watch the flowers blossom and fall in the world." 」
I agree.
The beginning of love is mutual attraction, and the long-term love of keeping is knowing how to give up.
Abandon selfish and willful behavior, and compare the heart to the heart in everything;
Give up the words of accusation and complaint, and choose to understand and understand the truth;
Let go of unwarranted suspicion and learn to treat each other sincerely and keep true love.
The rest of his life is long, and he encourages him to do so. May you and I cherish the people around us, the same boat in the wind and rain, and happiness for a long time.
- END -
* Anchor: Lin Jing, Pisces female anchor, sometimes quiet and sometimes lively. May the story no longer hurt after many years, the sun still warm, and you are so charming. Let my voice and other people's stories accompany you every sleepless night. Sina Weibo @DJ Lin Jing. Himalaya FM: Anchor Lin Jing. WeChat public number: listen to the classics at night, listen to Lin Jing.
*Image source: petal net, sugar net
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