For people, material conditions do not directly affect the happiness of marriage. As long as the other party treats himself as a baby, he will not feel wronged.
Recently, there is a girl around her, who wants to get married but is troubled, the reason is that none of the two suitors around her are completely in line with her wishes - one family has superior conditions and a poor appearance; the other has a good appearance and a good personality, but the family conditions are not good, and even the down payment for buying a house in the city cannot be paid.
She thinks it's hard to be happy after getting married, but she also knows how important it is to find someone who is compatible.
In this way, it is nothing more than a matter of choice between love and bread.
Now that life is fast-paced and stressful, some marriageable young people will always take the material conditions and the economic value that the other party can create in the future as the standard to measure whether to enter marriage.
Marriage is no longer purely a continuation of love, and it seems that the word "money" directly affects the happiness index of marriage.
From this phenomenon, I am reminded of the short story "Maggie's Gift" by the American writer O Henry.
The novel is about a woman named Della who very much wants to give her husband a gift at Christmas, but because the family is so poor, even the little money saved by the vegetarian diet cannot buy anything, and in the period before the holiday, she is so anxious and even crying.
And her husband is anxious about not being able to give gifts to his wife.
If you look at this alone, the hero and heroine really confirm the phrase "poor couple Pepsi lament".
But despite their poverty, there were two treasures in the house, one was Dela's hair, which was enough to dwarf the queen's jewelry and gifts, and the other was the gold watch that her husband Jim had passed down three generations to make King Solomon his beard in jealousy.
For this important holiday, both made a secret decision: Della, without her husband's knowledge, sold her long hair and bought her a platinum bracelet.
And when she gave it to her husband with joy, she did not expect that the husband had sold his watch and bought a beautiful hairpin for his wife.
When I read this novel before, I only felt that the two of them had lost their most important things for each other, and the gifts they gave to each other did not come in handy, which was a very regrettable thing.
Now that I have entered middle age and re-read this story with a small number of words, I have a different feeling.
It is not easy to describe their lives in the novel, and the two rent a cheap house and wear worn-out clothes.
Della cut back on her husband's food and clothing while preparing gifts, and despite ridicule, cut every penny on the owner of the butcher's restaurant. Still, christmas eve wasn't enough to buy a decent gift for her beloved husband.
I have wondered before, why do two people who are so poor buy gifts like luxuries for their families, and have this money to improve each other's lives?
However, the answer is now also found.
The novel describes Della's mental activity as follows: "She kept thinking of buying him something worthy of him: a beautiful, rare, valuable gift, a gift almost worthy of her Jim." ”
In her heart, she felt that only such a gift was worthy of her husband. Not because of vanity, not because of anything else, but because of the heavy weight of the husband in his heart.
Although Jim's watch is expensive, the bracelet is too old, so Jim is embarrassed to take it out to see the time.
Della was reluctant for Jim to have such an embarrassing moment.
She is sad and crying because of money, but she is not complaining that her husband is unable to give her a good life, but she longs for him to get better things.
Just like Jim felt that only this expensive hairpin was worthy of his wife's hair.
In their hearts, no matter how embarrassing life is, the other party still deserves the best.
Their situation is painful, but the love wrapped in a poor life is enviable.
The material lack and the embarrassment brought about by poor life did not affect the other party's position in their hearts.
They will also not feel that the other party does not deserve good things because of the limitations of material conditions.
It can be seen that the happiness of marriage is not directly related to material life.
True love will never be affected by poverty.
True love is that after the two enter the marriage, they can withstand the external temptations brought by wealth and wealth, and they can also bear the chicken feathers brought by poor life. No matter what the situation at home is, they still feel that the other party is worthy of all the beauty of the world.
This is what marriage should look like.
In my opinion, the novel "Maggie's Gift" is not an expression of the regret of the poor couple, nor is it a reflection of the warmth of the poor couple in life. Rather, it is to warn people that marriage is to be together because of enough love, because in this way we can overcome all the difficulties brought by life, and when life is not satisfactory, it will not feel wronged.
Material conditions will not hinder happiness, but it is also undeniable that it will become a "mirror" of marriage, which can illuminate both the true face of life and the nature of people. As long as the weight of love is walked in front of it, it will know how many pounds are left.
Therefore, some women complain about the unbearable life in marriage, and sometimes they do not have to get something beautiful and valuable when material conditions do not allow it. It's that she can't accept the "she is not worthy" in the heart of the other half.
Good material conditions in marriage are only the icing on the cake, and the attitude of the other party determines whether the marriage is happy or not.
The poverty of life is easy to overcome, but the series of pressures and some negative effects brought about by poverty are really difficult to determine.
This is understandable why women will be "material" and cautious when they enter marriage, and in the final analysis, it is just a lack of confidence in the person in front of them.
She is afraid that her material compromises and concessions will one day become "unworthy" in the other party's heart.
I remember that on Valentine's Day this year, a grandfather rushed to the hot search because of a video of sending a bouquet of flowers to his grandmother, and the two hundred years old snuggled together with great happiness.
Many female friends are envious, and some even joke that they are not as good as a grandmother.
A happy marriage is like this, whether you have passed away or not, whether you are faltering, you still feel that you are worthy of this beautiful flower.
If it is true that as the marriage vows say, whether poor or rich, can always put each other in the most precious position, people who want to enter the marriage may have many less additional conditions.
End。
Huaying Story's original works, focusing on the field of emotion and psychology, with heartfelt words, writing views and stories with attitude, grounding and power.
Today's topic discussion: Do material conditions affect the happiness index of marriage? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.