Wen |
Anxiety about appearance during pregnancy, physical discomfort during pregnancy, comparison of the state of parents during childbirth, and even different reactions after giving birth...
Everything is suffocating, and the slogan of "equality between men and women" has been called for many years, but the physiological difference is doomed to fail to be truly equal.
As soon as "Dear Child" was broadcast, many people said that it was too realistic and properly selling anxiety. Let people see the fear of marriage and childbearing.
In fact, it is not selling anxiety.
Because there is a deep understanding of a thing, it is necessary to break the cruel facts, tear them apart, and then people who have experienced it and have not experienced it will see its core and essence, and finally find a real solution.
Indifferent husband
Fang Yinuo broke the amniotic fluid in class and was taken to the hospital.
Xiao Lu took a work call, and Fang Yinuo just said that if he was in a hurry, he would let him go back to deal with it first, but he didn't expect that he really left. Alone in the hospital.
After returning home, Xiao Lu drank beer, watched the ball game, and then fell asleep until he woke up naturally.
When Fang Yinuo entered the delivery room, facing the unknown pain alone, Xiao Lu did not accompany the delivery, and did not even say to her outside the delivery room: "Wife, I am waiting for you outside."
When Fang Yinuo left the delivery room, none of her family members were outside the delivery room, and her husband Xiao Lu sent a placenta to her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law even wanted to use her granddaughter's placenta to make wontons for her young son.
When they arrived at the ward, everyone was circling around the child, and Fang Yinuo, who was so painful that he could not move, wanted to drink the saliva, and he could not reach it several times.
The nanny invited slept heavier than the novice mother; in order to let the child sleep deeply and reduce the number of nights, the nanny secretly gave the child milk powder under the condition that Fang Yinuo qian told her to breastfeed; because the nanny insisted that she had experience and did not let the child go to the doctor, resulting in the child's jaundice being so serious that she was hospitalized to take blue light. Xiao Lu did not trust his wife who was still confinement, but felt that the nanny was not bad.
Fang Yinuo postpartum stool, urinary incontinence, Xiao Lu as a husband, he is very disgusted with the other party Yinuo, he helped Fang Yinuo, washed his hands over and over again, wiped the soap again and again. Fang Yinuo said this:
I on ah, yes, I on the body, I on you to give birth to my. I on the body, let you serve me that time, your disgusted expression, I remember you for a lifetime, Xiao Lu.
Xiao Lu made a promise to the other party, which was very indifferent and disgusted. The heart that loved her had changed.
Unreliable mother-in-law
Fang Yinuo's mother-in-law, Gao Caiping, was reluctant to hire a nanny because she felt it was too expensive. She is neither willing to contribute nor to contribute.
Later, the nanny left, and Xiao Lu asked her to come and take care of her, but she refused. It wasn't until Xiao Lu said that she only slept for three hours at night in order to take care of the children, that she reluctantly agreed to come and help.
When she entered the door, the bag she was carrying hit Fang Yinuo's wound, and she didn't know it. He also took out the clothes that Xiao Lu wore when he was a child, and wanted Hehe to wear them.
She smoked in the kitchen, and when xiaolu reminded her, she went out to smoke.
They had told her more than once beforehand that they could not smoke with children, that the children were too young.
However, as soon as she took Hehe out for a walk, as soon as she came back, she was covered in the smell of smoke, and along with Hehe's young body, it was also filled with a bad smell of smoke.
She is obsessed with playing mahjong, as soon as she goes out, she goes to see people play mahjong, and sometimes she puts Hehe aside and plays a game or two of mahjong by herself.
Once, she put aside the small cart with the grass, and then went to instruct others to play mahjong, and when her elbow touched, the cart slid down the slope, and she didn't know it.
The cart slid far and overturned, and Hehe was thrown out, and he cried loudly. It was Fang Yinuo who went out and met, and only then did he pick up Hehe.
Good to go to the hospital for a check-up, no big deal.
Changes in the body and mind after childbirth
Women give birth, it is too painful, too tired.
Often after giving birth, a woman's body will undergo great changes.
The flaccid stomach and ugly pregnancy spots made Fang Yinuo have no confidence from the bottom of his heart to respond to Xiao Lu's affection.
More importantly, when she was giving birth, when she was at her most difficult, when she was most helpless, Xiao Lu was absent, and even brought her hurt.
When her heart is most vulnerable, all she wants is the common face of her husband, and she only wants his common sharing.
However, Xiao Lu felt that the nanny was better, and felt that Fang Yinuo was too nervous and too nervous. Xiao Lu was still standing on the side of Xiao Mu, an unreliable mother-in-law, saying how Xiao Mu would not take children, then how did he and his brother grow up so big.
What Fang Yinuo wanted was Xiao Lu's shared share, but Xiao Lu stood on the opposite side of Fang Yinuo and "others" were in the same vendetta.
Fang Yinuo gave birth to a child for him, fecal and urinary incontinence, but Xiao Lu was extremely disgusted.
Fang Yinuo's heart for Xiao Lu, because of Xiao Lu's disgusted affection, took root, and as she tired again and again, disappointed, despaired, and even collapsed again and again, the cold seed began to sprout, slowly growing, growing from a small tree to a big tree.
She didn't want the man who hurt her to touch her, maybe she didn't know it herself, but the self-defense in her heart was to reject Xiao Lu.
It was such a deep pain that it was a defense that arose from the heart unconsciously.
Procreation is an expression of love
Women pay a lot in order to get pregnant, deformed bodies, long-spotted faces, everyone knows that fertility is not so harmonious as it seems, it is a competition between the mother and the fetus for nutrition.
If the mother wants to raise the fetus well, she is destined to give up a part of what she has.
What's more, the growth of the fetus, accompanied by squeezing the internal organs of the mother, that is to say, the internal organs of the mother, is to make room for the fetus, even if the stomach will become larger, it is far from enough.
If in the feudal era, a woman's survival needed fertility in exchange, then in the current era, there is no such need.
Therefore, most of the women who are able to have children are because they want to have a common child with their husbands and give birth to the crystallization of love.
Children are not the pivot of marriage, much less are they tools for kidnapping marriage. It is the expression of love in marriage, in the depths of love.
A man like Xiao Lu, in real life, even some men are worse than him, of course, there are a lot of people who are warmer than him.
In raising children, women are bound to give more than men
There are indeed some men who are very patient with children and are willing to spend time on children, but there are really very few such men.
Therefore, the depiction of husbands on TELEVISION who do not care much about their children is not a disparagement, but a fact.
This fact, like the growing status of women, takes a long time to repair.
Instead of complaining about men's irresponsibility, not knowing how to care and love, it is better that you see reality clearly. Then to cultivate the warmth of men, to cultivate how men can better take care of themselves during pregnancy and childbirth, to cultivate how men can put more thoughts on their children.
In this way, in the matter of having children, women are bound to pay more than men, not only to take care of children, but also to cultivate a good husband, a good father.
However, education is the investment with the highest rate of return, and all the future returns will be on oneself.
The way closer to equality is to maintain an equal mindset in the face of different divisions of labor in marriage.
But sadly, time always destroys people's hearts, and most people forget their original intentions and forget the meaning of the division of labor between men and women.
Forgetting means going farther and farther down one's own wrong path, so "Dear Child" is not selling anxiety, it is crushing this anxiety, tearing it up, and presenting it to everyone, so that everyone knows its existence, sees the form of its existence, and also seeks a solution to it.
There is a deeper point, that is, not only is she alone in suffering from such heart-rending pain, every woman, she will bear this same pain and fatigue at different times.
Therefore, before the pain comes, what we have to do is not to fear marriage and childbearing, but to see the essence through the phenomenon and learn how to cultivate a good man, a good husband, and a good father.
Only the more realistic and suffocating the show is, the clearer the role played in reality will be. As long as the man you choose is well nurtured by you, what mother-in-law relationship, sister-in-law relationship, will disappear.
This man will eventually become the big warm man of your life, good to you, hurt you, protect you, love you forever and ever.