Perhaps, there is a saying you have also heard, that is, marriage, is equivalent to a woman's second reincarnation.
This sentence seems to be an exaggeration, but it actually makes a lot of sense. A girl reincarnates for the first time, is born into the human world, can not choose the original family, can only passively accept the arrangement of God, wait until she becomes an adult.
When she becomes an adult, grows up, has the ability to be independent, and can control her own destiny, she will have to make the most important choice in her life, that is, who to spend the rest of her life with. This time, she has a choice, and she also needs to use the rest of her life to choose responsibility for herself.
Choosing the right spouse, marrying a person who is worth entrusting for life, getting his care and care, husband and wife working together to run a good family can make your life happier. Choosing the wrong spouse, marrying a scumbag, not to mention getting better and better, and not going to the point where people and money are empty, and their own and children's small families are fragmented.
As Shakespeare once said, "An unsatisfactory marriage is like a hell, a lifetime of chickens and geese fighting, not a peaceful life, on the contrary, choosing a satisfactory spouse, you can be harmonious for a hundred years, and happiness is endless." ”
Therefore, for women, if you want to get this second reincarnation, you must choose a mate carefully, and choose someone with good character and suitable for you.
What if you've taken the wrong first step and find that you're not marrying someone as perfect as you think? After all, it is difficult to draw a tiger and paint a skin, it is not an easy task to know the face and the heart, and it is not an easy thing to see the character of the other party before marriage.
At this time, you have to stick to your bottom line, when the spouse tries to infringe on your interests, dare to fight back, let him know that you are not easy to provoke, otherwise, after he tries to infringe on your interests for the first time, there will be a second time, over time, the balance of supply and demand in the marriage is out of balance, he will have to inch forward, you will feel that the marriage is meaningless, let the marriage go to a dead end.
As psychologist Wu Zhihong wrote in "Chinese-style love and love": The unlovable things in marriage are because the original intention is not out of "I love you", but from "you give me" - not that there is something wrong in marriage, but that there is too much to ask for marriage.
In marriage, whether it is a man or an in-laws, when you first make unreasonable demands, you are testing what your bottom line really is. At this point, you have to remember that you can not stab people, but you must have thorns on your body.
"Think I have a low income, mention AA to me, I'm afraid I'll spend his money!" Well, I'll AA with him to the end. "When she met an unreasonable mother-in-law and a calculating man, Liu Juan was not a soft persimmon and would be bullied.
01.
A year ago, 27-year-old Liu Juan got married to Gao Dong, a boy introduced by a friend of her mother.
"I also blamed me, I couldn't resist the pressure of my parents' marriage urging, I agreed to a blind date, met a man who looked good on the surface, got along for three months, and agreed to marry under the urging of my parents."
Liu Juan and Gao Dong did not know each other for a long time, and there was not much emotional basis, the reason why she chose to marry Gao Dong, the reason why Gao Dong chose to marry her, is mainly because of one point, that is, two people are more suitable.
On personal ability, Gao Dong is much stronger than Liu Juan, Gao Dong works in a private company, the work intensity is large, the 996 work system, the salary is naturally not low, and the monthly income is about eight thousand. Liu Juan works in a studio that has recently started a business, with low work intensity, nine to six, and an average monthly income of about 4,000.
However, in terms of family situation, Liu Juan is better than Gao Dong. Liu Juan is an only child, her parents are on-the-job workers, there is a pension after retirement, and the family has two houses in her hometown county, that is to say, her parents can solve most of their pension problems, at most when they are inconvenient to move, they need Liu Juan to do filial piety.
And Gao Dong's parents are migrant workers, although Gao Dong's mother paid pension insurance, but the pension is only 2,000 a month, Gao Dong's father did not pay any insurance, Gao Dong also has a brother who has not yet married, therefore, Gao Dong's original family burden is very heavy.
To put it bluntly, Liu Juan looked at Gao Dong's ability, and Gao Dong saw that Liu Juan's original family burden was small. In the end, after three months of knowing each other, the two people were married.
02.
What Liu Juan did not expect was that not long after getting married, the couple had a conflict, which was for the bride price.
When getting married, according to local customs, Gao Dong's family gave Liu Juan a dowry of 66,000 yuan, which was auspicious, and Liu Juan's mother did not leave this money, but added 100,000 yuan as a dowry for her daughter.
"Whether it is a bride price or a dowry, is it not the woman's premarital property?" It should be at the disposal of the woman. He was good, not long after getting married, he began to play the idea of this money, saying that it should be used as a common expense of the small family, let me take it out and keep it together, but I refused, and he wanted to return the dowry money, saying that the dowry money was just a formality, and it was time to return it to him. What goes through the motions? Does he not spend a penny to marry his wife? ”
In fact, Gao Dong stared at the purpose of this money, Liu Juan could also guess it, it was nothing more than that the little uncle had also reached the age when he should get married, and the in-laws could not come up with so much money, so they set their eyes on Liu Juan's dowry.
Rejected by Liu Juan, the couple quarreled several times, and the in-laws and uncles also complained about Liu Juan.
Then, Liu Juan found a thing that made her feel very unhappy, that is, Gao Dong, as a married man, had to pay half of his parents every month, which was called alimony, but the consumption level of the in-laws' location did not need so much, it was obvious that Gao Dong was helping his brother, in Liu Juan's view, Gao Dong violated the joint property of the husband and wife.
As a result, the two people quarreled even more, Gao Dong believed that Liu Juan was cold-blooded and ruthless, without the slightest human touch, in order not to let Liu Juan stop himself from helping the original family, he proposed the AA system with Liu Juan.
03.
"I spend the money I earn myself, so I can't care about him helping his original family, right?" Why? All married, still spend their own money? His brother is an adult, so why let him raise him? ”
Ignoring Liu Juan's protests, Gao Dong forcibly implemented the AA system and continued to help the original family. Liu Juan couldn't bear it, launched a counterattack, and put forward a request: "Housework is evenly shared, each eats its own food, does not have a baby, and whose parents serve." ”
Liu Juan made a list of one-week housework, marking which ones were Gao Donggan and which were hers, and whoever did not finish it would have to be punished, that is, fined.
As for the problem of eating, each of them has to find a way to do a good job, saving themselves from quarreling over trivial matters such as gas bills, chai rice oil, salt sauce, vinegar tea, etc.
Liu Juan clearly told Gao Dong that she would not have children, just because she could not AA because of the fact that she could not AA at all, it was unfair to her, and as for her in-laws, don't expect her to take care of them.
Listening to Liu Juan's words, Gao Dong thought that she was messing around, noisy and noisy at home, seeing that Liu Juan was indifferent, Gao Dong proposed a divorce with Liu Juan in a huff: "I don't AA, I want to divorce you, a cold-blooded and ruthless woman." ”
"Leave, who is afraid of whom, just right, I am relieved, you go to find a woman who is willing to help your family!" 」
04.
As Yan Rujing said in "Strange Flowers": "Patience in marriage has a time limit, forbearance is called calm and calm for a while, forbearance for a lifetime, all depends on fate." ”
When he challenges your bottom line, you choose to compromise, let him taste the sweetness, breed desire, and there will be a second time. The more times he goes, the more unscrupulous he becomes, and you are forced to the point where you will either fall out with him, stop the loss in time, or swallow your anger for a lifetime.
In fact, for egoists, even if you are willing to swallow your anger for a lifetime, you may not be able to keep your marriage. When you can no longer bring them benefits, they may look for a home and choose to abandon you.
Instead of being forced to the point where people and money are empty and the bamboo basket is empty, it is better to dare to fight back and stop the loss in time.
END.
XiaoQi asked you to comment: What is your view on the marriage AA system? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.