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Tess of the D'Urbervilles: "The wiser the person, the more he can discover the true colors of others." ”
When getting along with people, you can find the true colors of others, indicating that you have observed and judged with your heart, and you can capture useful information from the words and behaviors of others. And can not find the true color of others, just take care of their own nonsense, indicating that you do not have to live carefully.
Of course, people who live without care cannot speak of wisdom. Although such people live as individuals in a group, they are accustomed to living in their own world, seeing the world by selfish standards, thinking that they are accurate, but in fact full of mistakes.
For example, when some mothers-in-law evaluate their daughter-in-law, the standards used are only her selfish standards, and they have not been transposed, and they have not comprehensively evaluated her in combination with the daughter-in-law's behavior, so that such a mother-in-law is not wise.
The following woman has been one-sidedly evaluated by the mother-in-law, let's listen to her story together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
After my marriage with my ex-boyfriend broke, there was a rumor that I was because my mother-in-law did not want to buy a marriage house, and deliberately rebelled against her marriage and let their family lose people.
This is obviously the result of the mother-in-law spreading everywhere, she is not willing to face the facts, unwilling to admit that she is an evil mother-in-law, and wants to use the "evil person to sue first" method to blame me.
The conflict between me and my mother-in-law was never because she did not want to buy a marriage house, but because of the problem behind this matter and her bad attitude.
She said that I did not deserve to marry into their family, said that I was not worth buying a marriage house for their family, and said that she originally did not agree with her son marrying a "second-hand goods", but that her son insisted on marrying me, so she relaxed, but only this, and could not make any other demands.
She humiliated me so much only because she had heard that I had been in love with other people and lived with other people.
If she had just privately thought that I was unworthy of her son and had humiliated me in my face, I wouldn't have bothered with her. But she wants to be clever and bargain in a way that degrades me, so why don't I bother with her?
Just from her words and that attitude, it can be judged that she is an evil mother-in-law. I didn't want to marry into an in-laws with an evil mother-in-law, so I offered to break up with her son.
Later, she ran to our house to offer her flattery, told me that the marriage house was bought, and let me seize the time to get a license with her son, not because she knew it was wrong, but because she couldn't help her son from being angry with her, in order to make her son happy.
This can only explain one problem: in her heart, I am still unbearable, still have no value.
I asked her to leave her and asked me, "The marriage house is bought, why don't you marry?" Don't you just want to build a house? Now that the house has been bought for you, what else are you not satisfied with? ”
She said it as if she had never humiliated me, as if I had always been making unreasonable trouble. The point of my anger was not on the house at all, but she opened her mouth and said that I was gambling and breaking up just to blackmail her into buying me a house.
She didn't recognize her problem and continued to treat me with disrespect, so I had to drive her away: "My family does not welcome the evil mother-in-law, give me a roll!" ”
Rumors about me arose after this day, and it was 100 percent that she went around telling people bad things about me. I've been thinking lately about whether to run and argue with her, feeling like she's cheating too much.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
After being bitten by a dog, you immediately take a bite back, which is considered to be a flattening. But if you are bitten by a dog for a long time, the more you think about it, the more angry you are, and then find the dog to bite it, the person in the know may not say anything about you, but the uninformed person will accuse you of being inferior.
The problem with that woman was about the same as "dog bites man, man bites dog." What's different is that some people are more dog than dogs, she bites you can, you can't bite her; she bites you and says bad things about you, just to provoke you, let you find her to settle the account, and then take the opportunity to touch the porcelain, or bite you again.
From this point of view, I don't think she needs to go to the evil mother-in-law to settle the account. Since you have discovered her true colors, it means that you are a wise person; she cannot find your true colors, indicating that there is no wisdom; you who have wisdom do not need to see with people without wisdom.
In other words, you who are not a scoundrel, play a rogue in front of the scoundrel, you can't win, but it will bring more troubles.
What she should do most is to learn from the previous bad marriage and apply it to future marriages, which is the true meaning of "suffering loss is blessing". After suffering hardships, learning lessons, applying them to live better in later life, the previous experience of suffering losses is not so important.