Hi, hello everyone, I'm Ying Mama.
I don't know if you have encountered this situation in the process of raising children: children are timid and afraid of life, and they dare not greet people when they see them.
When I was chatting with my cousin recently, my cousin told me that Xuanxuan, who was three and a half years old, had been in the kindergarten for half a year, but the teacher often reported that Xuanxuan liked to play alone, and sometimes the teacher did not respond much to him.
Usually at home is the same, seeing people let him say hello, always run away at once, and then remind, at most, is to smile at people.
The cousin's words mean that Xuan Xuan is too introverted. In fact, I still like Xuan Xuan's little nephew, who looks cute and speaks milkily. Although I don't talk much to others, I am just likable. Xuan Xuan was brought up by his grandmother since he was a child, originally he had been living with his grandmother, staying with his parents for a short time, and his cousin had always been more serious about his children, so he had formed this kind of quiet personality.
Every parent hopes that their children are lively and cheerful, and greet people warmly when they see them, so that their personality will be more pleasing in society, but each child is different, and everything will not be as the parents wish, why the child is not willing to greet others, there are three main reasons.
Every child's temperament is different
In daily life, we often find that some children have a lively and cheerful personality, and will greet people warmly, while some children are more introverted and shy, and when they see strangers, they are eager to hide behind adults, and they are eager for no one to see them, let alone let him take the initiative to say hello. This personality is determined to some extent by the child's innate temperament.
Parents are too aggressive
Some parents have a strong personality, are strong and habitual at work, and bring this strong attitude to the home, the strength of parents will make children become timid, make children feel insecure, and lose trust in strangers.
There are also some parents who are very strict with their children's education and often scold their children. Seeing that children are not polite, do not like to call people, and criticize at every turn. What he didn't know was that the more they did it, the more timid the child became.
Children have fewer opportunities to interact with the outside world
Children do not dare to greet others, many times do not know how to deal with people, lack of social experience. If children go to crowded places and go less, they will act nervous when they see strangers.
Therefore, when they are free, parents should accompany their children to go out and take the initiative to establish contact with the outside world.
The child's physiological development has been developing rapidly, the personality is not static, and it will slowly change with the environment and experience, so parents can consciously guide the child, let the child open their hearts, be willing to communicate with others, and slowly become cheerful.
First, let children have more contact with their peers
Guide the child to take the initiative to say hello to the small partner, may have some resistance at the beginning, but parents should be patient to encourage the child.
For example, when seeing a small partner of the same age, parents can take the initiative to throw out the topic and attract the attention of the other child. You can ask instead of your child, "What game are you playing?" Can we let Xiaobao join? "Wow, your toy looks so funny." Provide a bridge for both parties to communicate, so that children can slowly integrate into each other's games.
When you encounter a small partner who can play, you can take the initiative to let the child invite the other party to play in their own home, or you can go to the other party's home to play.
Take your child to participate in some group activities, let him have more contact with his peers, like there are many parent-child experience classes and baby interest experience classes around my environment, these courses can allow their children to participate more, and let children make some new friends on different occasions.
When peers have more contact, children will slowly know how to get along with others, and can gradually let go of themselves, become cheerful, and will be willing to express their ideas.
Second, teach children basic social skills
Children are afraid to say hello to others, and are afraid of being timid outside, in addition to personality reasons, but also because of the lack of necessary social skills.
At this time, parents need to guide some of the necessary social skills. Let the child slowly learn to communicate and communicate with others, and increase the child's social experience.
Tell your child to say hello when he meets someone he knows. Those who are similar to the age of their parents should be called "uncle" or "aunt", and those who see the older age should be called "grandpa" or "grandma". Play with your friends and take the initiative to say "goodbye" to others when you leave.
When you go outside to play, you can prepare some of your own toys so that you can play with other children.
When you want to play with strange children, you can take the initiative to ask each other, "Can I play with you", take the initiative, help more, love to laugh, are all social plus.
Third, do not blindly punish children
The best parent-child relationship is a friendship relationship. Do not be too strong with children, so it is easy to cause children's rebellious psychology, but also make children insecure, make them less courageous, so that when facing strangers, there is only fear and fear.
Even if the child does not like to call people, do not blindly scold, but to change to a peaceful state of mind, reminding the child to be a polite child.
There is a term in psychology called the "Southwind Effect." Compared with the rough and cold of the north wind, the warmth and softness of the south wind make people take the initiative to take off their coats. The same is true for educating children: the gentleness of spring wind and rain can moisten things in the silent place!
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I am Ying Mom, a child mother, family education instructor, parenting master, scientific parenting practitioner, multi-platform invited quality creators, focus on parenting dry goods and children's early education psychological knowledge sharing, happy text, happy sharing, I handwritten my heart, like to remember to pay attention to forward Oh!