Some children are very bold and confident and optimistic, very pleasing, while some children are more timid and introverted, usually do not like to socialize, prefer to be alone.
Compared with those brave children, it is difficult for timid and afraid children to adapt to the new environment.
If parents do not find out in time and give a correct guide, then it is very detrimental to the growth of the child.
During the Spring Festival, friends took Dabao back to their hometown, and there was still a period of time before Dabao started school, so they lived in their hometown for a while.
Friends have been back for more than a week, Dabao and the old cousins in the hometown are also getting more and more acquainted, Dabao and his cousins have a lot of fun every day, that is, sleep together.
However, the son of a friend's cousin has been playing by himself and is reluctant to play with the big guys.
At first, the friend thought that his cousin's son had never met Dabao and was more afraid of life, but later she found that whether it was with Dabao or with his brothers and sisters, he was not very close.
Even if the big guys called him to play together, he wouldn't want to.
The cousin of the friend is also very worried about these behaviors of his son, and even worried that the future development of his son will be affected.
01
The child's timidity and fear of life
Introversion, lack of confidence, and unsociability are a trademark label that most parents give to timidity and fear of having children.
This type of child has difficulty adapting to group life, difficult to integrate, and does not like to socialize.
In the process of interacting with people, they will also feel distressed because they do not know how to find a topic or cannot interject, so they will prefer to stay alone in a small corner.
This type of child's emotional management ability is not very good, in the face of things they do not like or do not like, the child will put "unhappy" on the face, and even lose their temper.
This type of child is also not interested in new things, unwilling or even resistant to contacting new things.
In addition, they will be very afraid of the dark, dare not go to the toilet alone at night, sleep at night and have to turn on the lights, and so on.
02
The reason why children are timid and afraid of life
1 Parents are overprotective
Nowadays, most families still have only one child, so parents will be extra pampered with their children, holding their children in the palm of their hands and taking care of them meticulously.
For example, a friend's cousin's family has some patriarchal concepts, and is very happy about the arrival of this son, so he is extra pampered and guarded as an heirloom.
Don't let his son go out alone to play, don't let his son eat snacks outside, and often obey his son.
Many parents do the same, but this is like eating a chronic poison for the child, slowly corroding the child's psychology and various abilities.
Children will be too well protected and appear out of place in group life.
It is precisely because they have been protected that children will have poorer independence than their peers, and will also give their peers a strange, withdrawn, and difficult feeling.
2 Parents lack companionship and care
Most of China's families are dual-career families, parents need to go out to work for the sake of their families and children, and many parents need to leave their hometowns to work in other places.
This also leads to the child and the parents get along with the time is very small, although the child misses the parents very much, want to get along with the parents more, but the reality does not allow, but also leads to the child's heart is very lonely.
3 Family tensions
Pay attention to observation, you will find that most of the timid children, their family atmosphere is mostly not harmonious, the feelings between parents are not harmonious, often quarrel.
Seeing that the child's test scores are not satisfactory, the couple quarrels when they disagree, the family has to pay the water and electricity bills, and the couple is a quarrel.
Growing up in such a "gunpowder-flavored" family can have two effects on children.
First, the child has a kind of learning, learning the parents' way of dealing with violence, and encountering any unhappy things, they use violence to solve it.
Second, in this repressive environment, the child will become very cautious, dare not do the wrong thing, for fear that if he does not do well enough, he will be mistakenly injured by "gunpowder".
At home, especially when mom and dad are at home, children will become highly nervous and dare not talk too loudly to their parents.
03
Workaround
First, let go and grow
Every child is an independent individual, and parents should not bind their children, but should let their children learn to grow independently.
The first time a child eats by himself, the first time he helps with housework, the first time he sleeps on his own...
These firsts record the child's growth process, and also make the child's courage become more and more courageous in one "first" after another.
The "first time" is an indispensable experience for every child to grow, and parents should not bind their children with so-called "love".
Parents should know how to let go, but also learn to trust their children, let children explore, to discover.
Within the scope of the child's ability, less intervention will make the child more confident and happy to grow up.
Second, more care and companionship
Although today's living standards have been greatly improved, children have no worries about food and clothing, but they are very lacking in the company and care of parents.
In particular, some left-behind children have only one or two opportunities to meet with their parents every year, but the time to get together is very short, and they rush home and return to work in a hurry.
The healthy growth of children is inseparable from the care of parents, so no matter how busy the work is, we must squeeze out some time to accompany our children.
If you are a migrant worker, you can also use your free time to video with your children and care more about your children.
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