01
Why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always bad?
I don't know if you have heard such a sentence: the mother-in-law is not a mother, and even the best daughter-in-law is not as good as her own daughter-in-law.
Throughout our lives, it seems that most mother-in-law relationships are indeed like this.
No matter how much the mother-in-law works hard and complains, in the heart of the daughter-in-law, she is always less loving than her mother; no matter how sensible and filial the daughter-in-law is, in the eyes of the mother-in-law, she is not as intimate as her own daughter-in-law.
There are always complaints from each other. In the final analysis, it is still the so-called blood relationship that is at work.
Some mothers-in-law in life are very eccentric. Not only can not see the good of the daughter-in-law, but also always treat the daughter-in-law as an outsider, and even guard against his daughter-in-law like a thief. Even if the daughter-in-law plucks her heart and lungs out of her heart, she still does not want to touch her in the slightest.
At the same time, they often give all the benefits of the family to their daughters.
In their conception, the daughter-in-law is always an outsider and unreliable. When you are old in the future, you still have to count on your daughter to do filial piety before the bed. If it is not good for their own daughter, it is good for whom?
Aunt Lin held such an idea and treated her daughter-in-law and daughter differently.
Fortunately, an incident that happened later made her suddenly wake up, and the real eccentricity was her daughter-in-law, which repaired the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
02
Aunt Lin is Wang Qian's mother-in-law and has always been partial to her sister-in-law.
The sister-in-law, who has been unreliable since childhood, spent money to find a third-rate college for her after the end of the college entrance examination, and did not study for two years, so she dropped out of school and married her current husband.
I don't know if it is the bad conditions of the in-laws or the personality. The sister-in-law has no other skills, the ability to take advantage is one of the best, and there are always all kinds of reasons to take advantage of Wang Qian and his wife.
Wang Qian and her husband are both businessmen, usually work easily, and their incomes are relatively high. Coupled with the fact that Wang Qian's family is stronger than her husband's family, when the two were married, her parents bought the car and the house at one time. Therefore, her and her husband's life is basically stress-free, and the level of well-off is absolutely there.
In the eyes of her mother-in-law, she always felt that her daughter-in-law was an outsider, and she believed that she would definitely provoke her son not to give herself a pension in the future, and only her daughter-in-law could be relied upon. Therefore, life is always everywhere to protect the sister-in-law.
Coupled with the "gap between rich and poor" between the two families, the mother-in-law is more and more distressed about the sister-in-law, and she feels that it is reasonable for her to come to Wang Qian and his wife for anything, including money. As the eldest brother and sister-in-law, Wang Qian and his wife should support their sister more.
At first, Wang Qian saw that the conditions of her sister-in-law's family were not good, and she would take the initiative to provide her with some financial help.
But later, she gradually found that her sister-in-law's appetite was getting bigger and bigger, and her demands were getting more and more excessive, and she even had the idea of letting Wang Qian and his wife buy a house for her.
Wang Qian naturally ignored it.
She believes that among the relatives, the one with the ability to help appropriately is slightly weaker, and there is nothing wrong with it. But everything has a degree, and things beyond this degree are more conniving and more disaster.
She began to refuse all the unreasonable requests of her sister-in-law, and the contradictions between her sisters-in-law increased. The mother-in-law's line of defense and blind favoritism towards the sister-in-law are undoubtedly adding fuel to the fire, making the already contradictory family relationship more and more tense.
The husband knew that Wang Qian did not complain much on her lips, but in fact, she was already secretly deducting points for her family in her heart.
He could only act like a sandwich cookie, persuading back and forth between three women every day. But to no avail.
Until recently my father fell ill and was hospitalized and needed a sum of money for treatment. The husband decided to take advantage of this opportunity to improve the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
He lied that business had not been good lately and that money was backlogged. Then in front of the whole family, he proposed that his sister take the money out of the emergency first, and then return the money to his sister with interest when his funds were revitalized.
Who knows, the sister did not take a stance, but played "missing". The phone call is not answered, the text message is not returned, as if the human world has evaporated, completely disregarding the death or death of the old father in the hospital bed.
In the end, it was Wang Qian who paid off the medical expenses and kept waiting in front of the hospital bed during the hospitalization, not too dirty or too tired.
Through this incident, the mother-in-law also understood that she should really be biased by her daughter-in-law Wang Qian, not her daughter-in-law.
Later, the old man recovered from his illness, and Wang Qian proposed to go to the restaurant to celebrate the discharge of her father-in-law, and the sister-in-law's family also came.
The sister-in-law is still the same as before, and It is Wang Qian who pays and orders a lot of dishes, and only orders expensive dishes. Anyway, she can still pack up and go home and eat slowly tomorrow.
At the end of the party, the sister-in-law asked for another bottle of good wine according to the custom, poured a small cup alone, and after drinking it, asked the waiter to pack up the wine and the good dishes that had not yet moved the chopsticks and prepare to take it home.
Wang Qian was already not surprised by her sister-in-law's behavior, and was about to get up to pay the bill but was pulled by her mother-in-law. I saw my mother-in-law say to my sister-in-law, "Whoever orders the food pays the bill." ”
The sister-in-law looked at her mother-in-law in disbelief and asked her if she was old and confused, how to elbow out.
The mother-in-law sneered and said that she was old and confused before, and she would only hurt Wang Qian in the future.
Wang Qian was not originally a person with a small belly and chicken intestines, and she was even happier to hear her mother-in-law say this. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has taken a big step forward.
03
In life, like Wang Qian's mother-in-law, she treats her daughter-in-law as an outsider, and there are many mothers-in-law who are partial to their daughters in any benefit.
However, not every husband can intervene in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in time to reverse the situation. Not every mother-in-law can change her mistakes and treat her daughter-in-law kindly.
Through their stories, they also tell us the following two truths.
One: In the contradiction between mother-in-law and sister-in-law, the husband's intervention is crucial.
As the saying goes, every family has a difficult scripture to read.
No one's marriage has ash at the bottom of the pot, and no one's marriage is always smooth. It's just that some people are willing to solve it rationally, and some people choose to be perfunctory.
Writer Liu Liu once wrote a sentence:
"In the trivial life of chicken feathers, what women care about most is often not how to resolve the contradiction itself, but in the process of resolving the contradiction, whether the husband is standing behind him."
When dealing with family conflicts, some men often blindly protect their mothers and families out of filial piety or hold the psychology of "protecting calves".
There are also men who try to make existing contradictions forget with the passage of time by escaping.
Deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law by a negative means.
The result of doing so often only makes the wife more dissatisfied, which in turn aggravates the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and causes irreparable harm to the small family.
A truly intelligent and responsible man knows how to take the initiative to adjust the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will develop in a good direction.
Instead of being biased or left alone.
Second: Parents are biased, which often causes contradictions between children.
There is a sentence in "Strange Story":
"Chinese parents have been waiting for their children to be grateful all their lives, and Chinese children have been waiting for their parents to apologize all their lives."
Indeed, in the eyes of some parents, when they were young, they pulled their children up with a handful of and a handful of urine, which was a great grace for their children. It takes the children to remember it for the rest of their lives and be grateful for it.
Especially for eccentric parents, they always think: No matter which child I favor, it is my business. Other children who have been blessed by My nurturing grace must also obey My Destiny.
They blatantly favor one over the other.
The eccentricity of parents often causes contradictions between children.
I once saw such a news:
A pair of parents are very partial to their son, giving their sons more than a million demolition funds, the two daughters can not afford anything, and also threatened: the daughter who marries out spills water, and they will not need to retire in the future.
Later, the mother was seriously ill and needed the children to contribute money, and the father took his son to find two daughters to share the medical expenses equally, which was undoubtedly rejected by the two daughters.
The four of them argued, and even knelt on the ground on the street and cursed each other, and the scene was once very unbearable.
People who originally had a close blood line, but at this moment, they were eager to fight five thunders in the sky, and such a family affection was really regrettable.
However, in life, due to the eccentricity of parents, brothers and sisters turn against each other, resulting in the breakdown of the feelings of sons and daughters-in-law, there are many examples.
And this is often inseparable from the eccentricity of parents.
Therefore, if parents want to have a harmonious family and brothers have love, they should be less involved in the affairs of their children and let them run their own business.
When the marriage encounters "everyone", the husband, as the most important role in the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, should also take on more responsibilities and guard his wife and home.
Text/No Pen