With 5 days to go before graduating from college, I hung a banner in the hallway at the end of the dorm building. It reads: Gently I walked away without taking away a schoolgirl. Aunt Su Guan came up and said a word

With 5 days to go before graduating from college, I hung a banner in the hallway at the end of the dorm building. It reads: Gently I walked away without taking away a schoolgirl. Aunt Su Guan came up and said: I don't have the ability to take it away and write it with my face. Then the aunt took away the humiliating banner.

2, my cousin's parents divorced when he was a child, no one asked him, he went to The Sarin Temple at a young age, and now he has been studying art for 7 years, and he was defeated by a new little master two days ago. The cousin felt that he had no face and was very confused standing on the edge of the cliff. Looking at the abyss below, he said to his master and disciple: Brother and Master, I can't put down some things, I can't put down some people. The disciple said tremblingly: If there is something to say, will you take two steps back and put me down from your arms before saying okay?

3, today to buy oranges, I picked a few good products. The uncle who bought the orange picked up a few spots and said: This kind of ugly look is actually sweeter! I said with some insight: Because Orange thinks she doesn't look good, she tries to make herself sweeter, right? Uncle Tai was slightly stunned: No, I just want to sell out and go home early. What a simple word! Looking at the wrinkles piled up by Uncle, I decided to buy more.

4, yesterday the company held a meeting, the big BOSS came out to speak, the atmosphere is heavy and depressing. When I got home, I said to my husband, "Hey, I feel like we've run out of gas in our company." The husband said: "So you don't feel that you have achieved nothing, since you gave birth to a baby, in the past three years of resuming work, you have successfully closed three companies, and the success rate is 100%!" If you don't go to Work at Wanda, first set a small goal, such as losing him a hundred million. ”

5, last night in the KTV classmate party, met the first love, now she is more and more mature and charming, I took the initiative to find her to drink a cup, and then looked at her charming eyes affectionately, felt that my legs were weak, the heart beat faster, then I realized, did I put the medicine in the wrong cup?

6, after the friend graduated, he started his own self-media, his mother thought he played games all day and was very angry. His mother was angry and wanted to educate him, and his friend stared at the computer silently. Suddenly, he saw that the game video he made was reprinted more than 10,000 times, and he excitedly said to his mother: Mom, don't say it, I want to be on fire! The mother broke out in an instant, and a slap slapped the past: it was against you!

7. I majored in college as a kindergarten teacher, and after graduation, I went to the experimental kindergarten in my hometown to teach students. This morning when the children were playing games, I saw a little boy counting the candy in his hand. I looked alone and walked over: Little friend, you have eight sugars now, I ate two, how many are left? The little boy immediately looked at me with a hateful look and said, "If you dare to eat one and try it, I will kill you."

8, on this day, the father-in-law came to see his son at home, and the hat on his head aroused the interest of his son, and he had to grab it and wear it. The daughter-in-law insisted on not letting her son take it, and also spanked her son's ass several times. When the father-in-law saw that he had beaten his grandson, he quickly stopped it, and took off the hat and put it on the son's head, as a result, the son took the hat and turned to his daughter-in-law and asked: "You see that I don't look like your father when I wear this hat." ”

9, as a single dog, when resting, there is nothing to do except fight the king and the alliance. During the rest of the day, I washed a bunch of clothes on a whim and cleaned up my home. Looking at the results of my efforts, I was satisfied, so I took a few photos and sent a circle of friends: exhausted, I have to quickly find a daughter-in-law. Soon after, a bunch of married colleagues commented: Clothes washing less is not addictive?? Housework to do less is not strong??

10, "I get up at 6 o'clock in the morning and go to bed at 10 o'clock in the evening." Don't smoke, don't drink, don't play cards, don't play games, and don't socialize. I never hide private money, nor do I play Weibo WeChat. I rely on my own hands to work hard, steady and easy-going, love labor, usually not quietly thinking about the future, or reading and learning. Such a wonderful man, why are you used to me? Let me out! A man yelled at 3 a.m. in a mental hospital.

1 Go to eat snail powder, the boss saw me directly ordered the kitchen: "Snail powder a bowl of slightly spicy, add a sour shoot, a rotten skin, a pot roast meat, a bottle of soy milk." I said, "How can you make up your own mind?" The boss said, "Don't you order so much every time?" I said, "Then I may not be very hungry today, and I may not have enough money." The boss said, "Well, you order it yourself." I said, "Except for what you just said, you'll need two portions of roast meat."

12, in the afternoon with my roommate to go to school outside dinner, a familiar aunt in the courier room saw me and said: Recently, is it not enough living expenses? No money, don't be embarrassed to ask your family, don't suffer yourself, my daughter is studying in a foreign country, I know you spend a lot! I was a little moved, and said: Thank you aunt for caring, I still have enough money to spend. The aunt said with a look of disbelief: Don't lie to me, I haven't seen you for two weeks to pick up the courier.

13, the local tycoon drove the Bentley to the countryside, intending to visit a distant relative. At the door of the bank, the local tycoon wanted to take 500 yuan to buy something. As a result, the manager ignored him and said that he would go to the ATM for 500 yuan to get it. The local tycoon was very unhappy, took out another card from his pocket, and said loudly: Give me 50 million cash! The manager took the card and checked it, found that there was really 50 million in it, and asked: Are you sure you want to take it out? Local tycoon: Absolutely! After all the employees counted for 3 hours to take out all the money, the local tycoon said: Put all 50 million yuan into me!

14. When I was a child, I went home with my classmates at the same table, and a vicious dog suddenly appeared on the road. The dog barked at us, and I was so frightened that I hid behind my tablemates. The same table laughed: Look at you scared, I am crazy and even bite myself, I am afraid of it? Just after saying that, the dog rushed over and bit down on the calf of the table!