1 Late at night, my husband did not return. The daughter was anxious to call her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be other women!" The mother gently comforted: "Silly child, good, don't think about the bad, xing."

1 Late at night, my husband did not return. The daughter was anxious to call her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be other women!" The mother gently comforted: "Silly child, good, don't think about the bad, maybe it was a car accident!"

2 A new foreigner next door to a brother knocked on the door one night for help, saying, "My TV is broken, I can't change the station." The dude looked down at his watch and said calmly, "It's half past seven!"

3 I once borrowed a relative's loudspeaker, put out a heart-shaped candle downstairs in the boys' dormitory, prepared to confess, pressed the switch and was about to shout, and a voice came from the speaker: "Recycling, refrigerator, color TV, washing machine, gas canister." "Then I started crying.

4 When I saw a grandfather carrying a very heavy thing upstairs, I wanted to say: Grandpa, I will help you get something! The opening of the mouth became: Old thing Grandpa I help you get!

5 My boyfriend and I quarreled to the point of breaking up, both sides were very emotional, I angrily sent a sentence, I myself will take the package to roll, emotional excitement into "I will take the bud valley rolling" My boyfriend sent a sentence "Hamster goodbye".

6 When he went to the neighbor's house to borrow something, they were eating watermelon, and when he lent me something, I said: I don't eat... The face that was lost at the time has not yet been found.

7 The owner of the company is a very approachable leader and our relationship has always been good. When I got to work in the evening, the boss stopped me, took me to her office, pointed to a teacup and said: This is the coffee I brought from abroad last month. After drinking, the boss asked: How does it taste? I smiled and said: This foreign coffee is really different, and I feel refreshed after drinking it! The boss said: Okay, since you are not sleepy, then stay and work overtime tonight! I:......

8 I was watching a movie in a movie theater, and there stood next to a couple, and the girl was dressed very flowery. Blue and white striped pants, purple heels, sequined T-shirt with a pink suit. They didn't watch the movie well, but talked about love. Woman to man: Do you see how well I'm dressed today? The man said very calmly: Very good, the suit is changed to red is more like the king in the servant.

9 The cousin often goes to the bar, buys a Rolls-Royce car key (lighter) that day, deliberately pulls out the key while drinking in the bar and throws it on the table, and then various beautiful girls come over to talk and show all kinds of ambiguity. When the cousin had played enough drunkenly, a girl pestered and took it home. The girl at the door asked: Brother, what about our car? The cousin said very calmly: Drinking never drives the car, let's take the subway home!

10 When I graduated from Tsinghua University, I chose a private company because of my high salary, and since then I have embarked on the road of no return. One day the girl next to me went out to a meeting, and the raisins she brought today, I was bored to eat them, and I didn't expect to eat them. After she came back, she cried so hard in her seat that she had to let me pay her ten thousand yuan, and she just saw that I was young and wanted to blackmail me, and I firmly disagreed! Later, it went to the manager, the manager came to adjust, and the sister said that this was the leftover raisins from the 82-year-old Lafite. Later, the manager gave her my pay card, saying that it was slowly deducted from the pay card... It has been 20 years since today, and the pay card has not come back. Heck, needless to say, I'll have to go to the supermarket and buy raisins for her mother and father this year.

11 Typhoon came Ding, an employee of a company in Fujian, came to the company and said loudly: I saw someone playing QQ flying car on the road. Employee A said: When there is a typhoon, he is stupid to play with flying cars! Employee B said: Play games on the road, I have never played a game in my life! Employee Ding said: Really, a QQ car was blown into the sky by the Typhoon, and people on the whole road saw it!

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