1, my mother-in-law quietly pulled me to the bedroom and asked: "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price,

1, my mother-in-law quietly pulled me to the bedroom and asked: "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, I am tired of driving this car, and I will sell you at the right price." I tentatively asked, "80,000?" The mother-in-law exclaimed, "So little? I bought it for more than $5 million. I was distressed: "But my salary is not much, now this little money!" Mother-in-law: "Then now make up 920,000 dowry for you, and this car is sold to you for 1 million." "Dad called to say that the family was demolished, and I immediately resigned to beat Didi and went home to get money. The car came, I didn't expect it to be a Honda Civic, driving or beautiful. I asked the beauty: "Driving a luxury car and working part-time, you are not bad for these few dollars, why?" Beauty smiled contemptuously at me, "I just like to see you poor ghosts stunned, one?" The look of envy and puzzlement on the face. "At that time, I couldn't help but scold her and cry, and after getting out of the car, I resolutely gave her a five-star praise!

2, the goddess who will like our class when he goes to school, he has always had a boyfriend and used me as a spare tire. A while ago she broke up with her boyfriend and came to me to cry. I looked at her sad look and asked her: How did you break up if you didn't listen well together? The goddess said: Because he knows to play chicken all day, his favorite thing is the game. I was immediately anxious: What is eating chicken? Is it more important than you? The next day I signed up for an account to prove that eating chicken wasn't fun. Since then I've embarked on a path of no return and am still single!

3, recently there was a tooth necrosis, need to be pulled out but I did not agree, the daughter-in-law let me go to the hospital to pull out, after the extraction she paid me a gold. For the sake of gold teeth, I was also open-minded, but the truth is always so cruel. We quarreled countless times for the tooth removal, because the tooth was missing and the air leaked. And I was always at a disadvantage and never won her again, and I found out that women are big pig's trotters!

4. When my wife and I were not yet married, my wife said to me: My father is a strange person, I said: How can you describe your father like this! When we were married, I once went back to my mother's house with my wife, and when I got to the door of the community, my father-in-law rode out on the tram face to face, and my wife shouted: Dad, why are you going? The father-in-law said without looking back: You two go home first, and I will go fishing for King Eight! I thought, where to fish for King Eight now? When I got home, I asked my mother-in-law: Where did My father go to catch Wang Ba? My mother-in-law said to me: He means to go to the Internet café to find your brother back for dinner.

5. A few summer vacation disciples are responsible for washing the clothes of the monks of the whole monastery, and in order to encourage them, they often say: As long as they are willing to work hard, the matter of washing can also be greatly repaired. But gradually the other disciples were tired, and only one young disciple always remembered Fang Zhan's teachings and washed every piece of clothing with his heart. Kung Fu paid off, and finally Tianfang Was touched by his carefulness and promoted him to deacon. The attentive little disciple found several long hairs in Fang Zhan's robe.

6. Ferrari was borrowed by my brother-in-law for a blind date, so I had to take the subway to work. On the subway, I met a goddess, who looked beautiful, and stirred the old man's spring heart that had been silent for many years. I plucked up the courage to say to my sister: Beauty, you look so beautiful. The girl looked at me and said, "Well, I found that although you are ugly, you are telling the truth." Listening to this, the girl did not look at me, but I did not die, and continued to chat with her: Beauty, what do you do?? Beauty gave me a blank look and said, "You're blind, aren't I riding the subway?" The girl looks good but the IQ is not high...

7. Tell you a story of a god who saves money. A monthly salary of more than 6,000 gods, living in the unit dormitory, dormitory with a water dispenser, a month can drink 16 barrels of water, the unit reimbursement. There are more than 10 cake shops within a kilometer of the unit, and every day after work, in the name of feeding chickens, they take turns to take the cake skin and go back to nibble on their own. I have more than 50,000 left in the next few years. The guy bought the house that day and paid the down payment.

8. In high school, I was at the same table with the class flower, had a good relationship, and ate together at noon every day. But then I gradually found that her meals were much more than mine each time, and I was unbalanced in my heart, and I went to find the aunt who cooked the theory. Auntie said: You are so good in shape, you must not eat much, eating too much will affect your figure, you look at her again, feed her fat, but also appear that you are thin is not! I smiled and left the canteen, and after graduation I learned that Banhua was her daughter.

9. As the boss of the company, I made a table of dishes for my wife for the wedding anniversary, but I did not expect that my wife threw up after eating a bite. I was very surprised: you won't have it, will you? Wife: Although I think it is true, it should not be. Me: Then why do you want to throw up? Wife: It's not that the dishes you made are too difficult to eat, I really want to throw up.

10, and my girlfriend went shopping at 10:30 to send her back to the dormitory, walked downstairs, I asked the security guard: "Big brother, can you still go in now?" The security guard glanced at my girlfriend and said, "Okay, let's go in!" Then I turned to my girlfriend and said, "What to do, it's too late, can't go in, or let's go to the hotel!" The girlfriend didn't seem to believe it, so she also ran over to the security guard and asked, "Uncle, can we go in?" The security guard glanced at me and said, "Yes." Then my girlfriend turned to me and said, "I really can't get in, so let's go!" ”

11. When I worked in a state-owned enterprise, I had a crush on our single female supervisor for a long time. At the end of the day, there was a sudden heavy rainstorm. I was standing at the door of the company and was overwhelmed, when the female supervisor suddenly came up to me and asked if I wanted to hold an umbrella together??? I said proudly: Who do you look down on??? This little rain is not enough for me to wash my face!!! After saying that, I rushed into the heavy rain, and now that I think about it, it makes sense that I am single!!!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #