My brother and sister-in-law went to the county town to do something! I'll leave the kindergarten nephew from school! I didn't think much of it, but I heard the teacher say it to the phone: There is a face full of faces

My brother and sister-in-law went to the county town to do something! I'll leave the kindergarten nephew from school! I didn't think about it, how I said the teacher didn't believe me, only to hear the teacher say to the phone: there is a person with a full face, short stature, obscene appearance, three points like a person, seven points like a ghost to pick up your son! I heard my sister-in-law say on the phone: Yes! That's my little uncle! Amount (⊙o⊙) ...

2, a couple held a wedding ceremony in the church, and when it came time to exchange rings, the overly nervous groom forgot about it. The priest very anxiously raised his finger, made the gesture of a ring, and blinked his eyes to hint at the groom. The bridegroom blushed and stuttered, "Pastor, wasn't that what was done tonight on the night of the cave?" ”

3. Today, I am on a blind date with a beautiful teacher, and I am excited! In order not to be cold and show my humor, I said: "You know, the latest bonus point policy now?" The beautiful teacher in front of me was stunned, blinked her beautiful eyes and said: "Ethnic minorities plus points, I know" I laughed: "Ah, when did you have the bonus point policy, I said the latest extra point policy Oh!" The beautiful teacher shook her head, looked at me and said, "Then you talk about it!" ”

4, the sister came home from school and said to her mother: "Mom, tomorrow autumn tour, our class organizes a barbecue." The teacher said that everyone should bring one thing with them. "So what do you want to bring?" Chicken wings or sausages? My sister blinked and said, "How tired of those!" It was enough for me to bring napkins to wipe my mouth. “

5. Watching "Ten Deadly Sins" has left a psychological shadow on myself. Yesterday after the night shift, I was walking alone on the road, and suddenly I saw a beautiful woman in front of me. I walked slowly forward, and she turned and smiled at me, and in the blink of an eye she turned into a female gem. Dressed in white, with red hair, a skeleton face, half a foot of nails, and a bloody tongue, he was floating and raised his hand to grab me. Just at this moment, I directly slapped her: "Who let you dye your hair red, it's ugly!" "That female jewel was confused by me, stunned for half a day, I had already turned around and ran...

6, last night, put down the mobile phone, I went out to buy a lot of delicious filling stomach, bought two fried fire, let the vendor clip ham slices, tenderloin, chicken fillet, rape, brushed with sauce, and went to buy two fried skewers, two hands clutching the fire, opened their mouths just to eat, hazy woke up, I was lying on the bed, it turned out to be my dream

7, usually I leave work early, so usually the task of picking up my son from school fell on me, one day I went to pick up this bastard boy from school, on the way back, on the side of the road, my son bought two strings of fried chicken steak, handed me a string and said: Let's eat alone today, don't tell my mother. Although I felt that this was not good, I also agreed, after eating back, I saw my daughter-in-law, my son said: Mom, today I made a mistake, I and my father bought chicken steak and stole it... Because of his son's courage to admit his mistake, his pocket money rose by ten yuan. As a result, because of this bastard, my pocket money has dropped by several hundred dollars!

8, human nature is wealth, play human nature marketing I admire Shi Yuzhu the most, make money fiercely without modification, just to dig out the weaknesses of human nature. First of all, it was brain platinum, selling health care products as gifts, and bombarding the people with vulgar advertisements, which was once rated as "the worst advertisement", but it was also the "most successful advertisement". Then do the online game journey, aiming at the evil of human nature, whoever charges money will be the big guy, and the RMB player will kill the four sides. Netizens sighed that the most profound feeling of playing the journey is: Don't use your youth to challenge the pocket money of the rich second generation.

9. Opposite the girls' dormitory building is the boys' dormitory building. It was just night, everything was silent, and I overheard a boy shouting from the male dormitory: "xxx, I love you!" Suddenly, the women on the opposite floor exploded, envious and jealous of whose boyfriend was so romantic. Just at this moment, I heard another brother yelling, "Who just called out the name of the brother?!" The world was suddenly quiet

10, the company's employees secretly built a group, nothing to talk about trivial things under the boss or something. Today a new person came in and posted a topic: how to evil whole boss not be discovered? The group instantly fried the pan and began to discuss. After a while, the newcomer suddenly spoke: "I didn't expect that you were actually such an employee, this month everyone's bonus is deducted by half, you need to reflect on it..."

1 Special Love Tips: Go shopping with a girl, and when she wanders in front of the shoe cabinet, you don't ask: "Do you want to buy?" You have to ask, "Do you like this pair or that pair?" "And then buy them all. When she wanders in front of the fried chicken shop, don't ask, "Are you hungry?" You have to ask, "How many fried chicken legs do you want?" "Then give her ten." When she's tired and can't walk, you don't say anything, rush forward and pick her up and throw her into your Porsche with an over-the-shoulder fall.

12, human glasses are more cattle than telescopes. Human eyes are super sensitive to light, and if the earth were flat, we could even see candles 30 miles away. If a supernova outside the Milky Way explodes, the naked eye will see the phenomenon before telescopes.

13, yesterday after work, found a dandelion on the side of the road, suddenly want to learn pure women take off the dandelion, slowly blow a breath, what a small and fresh picture. However, the truth is this, I took off the dandelion, and was about to blow it gently, when suddenly a demon wind came and blew my own hair!

14. The school recently built a large garden with a variety of flowers competing to open. There are often classmates who come to pick flowers. So when the whole student assembly was held, the principal said: "The flowers in the school are not used to pick, if you pick one, he picks one, then how many flowers must be picked!" "Two!" A voice came from the crowd.