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We are often indoctrinated with this truth: "Dear gentleman, far from the little man." ”
Few people tell you where the villain comes from, how to change the villain, and even be friends with the villain.
In the "Vegetable Root Tan", it is said: "Exercise should be strict, the heart should be harmonious and easy, and do not go too extreme and commit the poison of the bee worm." ”
The meaning of the above sentence is that to be a person, you must be righteous, and you must not be too extreme and anger the villain.
In fact, many villains also have advantages, and in some ways, he can also help you. If you have always stood against the villain and always hated it, then you will be hurt by the villain, and it is not advisable.
"The body is not afraid of the shadow oblique", people interact with each other, both can infect each other, but also "out of the mud without staining", the key lies in how you choose.
From the analysis of real life, the really powerful people can "make friends with villains" from the following aspects.
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First, "observe the villain": discover the villain's bad deeds and warn yourself; discover the villain's strengths, accept and learn.
Confucius said, "See the wise and think together; see the unwise and introspect yourself." ”
There are two ways for a person to progress. The first is to humbly learn from morally educated people and earnestly seek advice. The second is to stand in opposition to the vicious person, "take people as a mirror", reflect on their own mistakes, and avoid making "the same mistakes as the other party".
On the road of life, we often look at some "warning" slogans, images, etc.
Let's say one person steals, the family is disgraced. Because we know the consequences of stealing, we don't do the stealing thing. This is the dark side of the "little man", which guides us in a bright direction.
For a time, Zhou Liqi of Nanning, Guangxi, was taken to the police station because of theft. He said that "part-time work is impossible to work, it is impossible to work in this life", and quickly became popular.
After that, he seriously repented, and through hard work, he changed the face of the family and became a positive figure in society. He "showed up" and told everyone how to change their destiny and not to indulge in the world of "villains".
From Zhou Liqi, we can understand the truth that "stealing is a mistake" and the truth that "repentance is goodness". Both the front and the back have strengths.
The ancients said, "Success is also Xiao He, and defeat is also Xiao He." This sentence, in reverse, has become the meaning of "those who fail, as long as they work hard, they can succeed." It's just that many people, in the wrong direction, are wrong again and again; ordinary people, unwilling to accept villains, thus lacking a "mirror".
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Second, "help the villain": use true feelings to impress the villain, help him repent and rehabilitate, and achieve his "great righteousness".
Su Dongpo once wrote a passage: "The people who have looked at gu Qiwei, such as Zhou Chu and Dai Yuan, are all out of the group of thieves, changing evil and cultivating good, and not harming the virtuous." ”
During the Jin Dynasty, the surrounding areas ran rampant in the countryside, and the locals regarded him as a scourge. Someone said to him, "You're really capable, so why don't you go into the water and subdue the dragon?" Why not go to the mountains and subdue the tigers? If you do harm to the people, you will be a great achievement. ”
Zhou Defeated the dragon and the tiger. Locals hold a celebration feast. At the banquet, he learned that "the tiger, the dragon, and himself" were regarded as the "three evils." Therefore, he repented and surrendered to Lu Ji and Lu Yun, the famous men of Wu County, and later became the general of Pingxi.
When Dai Yuan was young, he was debauched and avoided by the locals. Later, he was recommended by Lu Ji and made a Qinshui County Order. He successively served as a former general, Shangshu, and Zhonghu Army.
When we applaud Zhou And Dai Yuan, we should see lu ji and lu yun's good deeds.
Lu Yun said: "The ancients and nobles changed the day and night, the future of the king is still acceptable, and the people who suffer from the lack of ambition, and the name of the worry is not prominent." ”
As long as a person is not the most evil, he can still help, but this kind of help is too little. If you can do it, you're a great person.
The teacher helped the students, and thus received praise for "peach and plum all over the world"; the gardener helped the flowers, so the gardener had the label of kindness.
The human heart is flesh, and if there is enough warmth, it can be touched.
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Third, "make good use of villains": grasp the weaknesses of human nature and exploit them, and the villains can help you "unintentionally".
"The world is bustling, and everything is for profit." People who can become villains are all for profit, but their way of obtaining benefits is wrong. Gentlemen also need benefits, but the method of obtaining them is moral, and they can distribute the benefits to the poor and the poor, and they have achieved their own benevolence.
Carnegie wrote in The Weakness of Human Nature: "The only way in the world to influence others is to talk about what he wants and to tell him how to get what he wants." ”
Let others get what they want, then you will get what you want too. In doing so, we are essentially taking advantage of the weaknesses of human nature.
I have seen a story about a farmer whose ducks are free-range, which leads to a dirty neighbor's doorstep. The two families quarreled several times over this.
For a while, the neighbors were holding a handful of grass in the morning and evening; they were still holding duck eggs in their hands. He said to the villagers: "In the mountain nest, there is a lot of tender grass that can be fed to the cattle; duck eggs are often picked up at the doorstep of the house, and there are two happy things every day, which is really good." ”
Later, the ducks moved into the mountain nest; the doorway became clean.
Sometimes, coercion does not work, then inducement.
The "suggestive effect" tells us that as long as you hint that the other person can get some benefit, the other party will do what you want. So you become the real winner.
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In an environment where everyone hates villains, if you can help villains and get benefits from villains, you are a person who stands out from the crowd, and you are a powerful person who is ready to come out.
The ancients said, "Man sees profit but not harm, and fish see food but do not see hooks." ”
We make the mistake of forgetting morality because of profit; forgetting beauty because of hurt; forgetting happiness, forgetting evil... One loses the other.
In the future, it is necessary to observe a person in many ways, analyze a person from multiple angles, and maximize tolerance and help people.
Understand that roses have thorns – if you want to smell the flowers, you must endure their thorns.
In society, since it is impossible to avoid villains, it is necessary to take the initiative to face villains.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.