A little girl on the bus played with a wand behind my back, and she pointed it at my back: "I'm going to turn you into the most handsome person in the world!" I listened, laughed, turned around and listened

A little girl on the bus played with a wand behind my back, and she pointed it at my back: "I'm going to turn you into the most handsome person in the world!" I listened, laughed, turned around and heard a scream: "Mom! Mom! I'll be magical!"

2, on the shift, with the brother-in-law to go to the smoking area to smoke Chinese cigarettes, he pocket huawei P40 ring for a long time do not want to pick up. I saw that my brother-in-law reluctantly answered the phone and pressed the speakerphone button. Hearing the voice of a beautiful woman, the beautiful woman said: Honey, are you in the company? The brother-in-law said: Yes. Beauty said: I saw a BMW for less than 2,000,000. The brother-in-law said: Buy. Beauty said: There is also the real estate of the Tomson product that has been put on the market again, 60,000 square meters. The brother-in-law said: Buy. I was stunned with admiration... The brother-in-law hung up the phone and said: After the ex-girlfriend broke up, she was insane and fell ill every day.

3, at night, I was wrapping my mobile phone to read a novel, and my mother would come in to see me for a trip. After a while, he came in again, looked at me curiously and asked, "Are you in love?" It's okay to have a phone wrapped up! I listened for a moment and said, "No! The old mother nodded and said helplessly: "Yes, no girl dares to follow you, when the time comes, go to Vietnam to buy one!" Or sell you to Vietnam! ”

4, yesterday afternoon when I left work was raining heavily, the company downstairs gate a lot of girls and big sisters, are calling the delicate petite petite to let the boyfriend or husband to pick up. In the noise, only a loud roar was heard: "Let go, Lao Tzu will be late to pick up his husband!" Then everyone saw a woman, with an umbrella, pushing the crowd away and disappearing into the heavy rain.

5, as a welfare, the unit sent a large bag of rice, female colleagues asked me to help resist to her home. At first I refused, and the female colleague looked at me with a wink and said help, my husband is not at home. Listen to me, I have to resist this rice. There was no elevator in her old house, I headed to the sixth floor in one go, and then her dad opened the door for us...! ,

6. Ask colleagues to go to dinner at home today, and after eating, they are ready to play cards together. The colleague asked his son, "Little friend, what do you belong to?" The son replied solemnly, "Uncle, I belong to eggs." The colleague was stunned and asked busily: "Why is it an egg?" The son said with a word: "My mother belongs to the chicken, I am her son, of course it belongs to the egg!" ”

7. At noon today, a few colleagues and I went to a restaurant to eat while smoking!! At this time, a beautiful female colleague came over and asked with some embarrassment: Can you let me smoke it? Seeing my hesitation, the female colleague asked expectantly: Okay? I nodded, ready to pass the remaining cigarette in my mouth. Suddenly there was a snap, and she jerked me hard, and then ran away hahaha.

8, the general manager is pregnant, the boss asked the whole company to smoke smoking. Today I went to the bathroom and found a female colleague smoking in the toilet, just about to go up to dissuade the general manager has walked to the bathroom door, this female colleague put a cigarette into my hand! The general manager looked at me and said, "Come to my office." In the office I explained: General Manager I really don't smoke! This smoke is not mine! The general manager said angrily: It doesn't matter who smokes the cigarettes! The key is what do you big masters do when they run the women's toilet?!!!! ...... Do you believe me when I say I got lost in the toilet? ............

9, yesterday when the company held a meeting, a new male colleague stepped on the point to come in. The boss was preparing to criticize the male colleague, so the boss took a closer look and exclaimed: Old Liang, why are you here? The late male colleague took a look: Oh, old Hu, how come you happen to be here? Then I saw the boss pull the male colleague out and talk for 15 minutes before coming in for me to have a meeting. After that, we all wondered: How did the boss criticize you for half an hour? The male colleague hey hey smile: this will criticize me, talk about it is not afraid that I will expose his routine again.

10. When Empress Dowager Cixi was young, she went to the street to buy dates, and an old lady in the countryside was selling dates, a basket of dried dates, and a basket of new dates. Cixi went forward to ask for the price, and the old lady said: 5 copper coins for dry dates are one pound, and new dates are 10 copper plates for one pound. Cixi was not happy and said: 3 pounds of new dates, only one pound of dried dates, it should be dry dates expensive, new dates are cheap. The old lady narrowed her eyes and said: "Girl, what you said is not right, you said that if you marry someone, will someone be willing to marry you at a high price, or will you be willing to marry me at a high price?"

1 take the high-speed rail on a business trip, when you get to the meal point, you are hungry and soak a bucket of instant noodles to eat, and the big brother opposite me asks me: Sister, what do you taste? I said rattan pepper flavor, he patted his instant noodle bucket, a proud face said: Let's this, seafood! I literally said that I was several notches higher than me... I said big brother, we are all eating instant noodles, can we not pretend?

12, Tang monks and apprentices four people played a space game when they were tired in a day, Goku: Master, you see I stole a basket of peaches; eight precepts: Master I stole two pigs; Sha Monk smirked: I am not good enough to steal only a cabbage; Tang Monk asked: What about the little white horse? The three of them spoke in unison... The little white dragon went to steal the heart...

13. "Loot! With a not-so-standard Mandarin, the plane boiled over. Eating and chatting, sleeping, their eyes lit up as if they heard the charge, and they looked excitedly at the source of the sound. A flat-headed guy had just lifted half a glass of transparent liquid when he was crushed under the crowd. Half an hour later, the boy woke up from the coma, looked at the female purser with a serious face in front of him, and finally cried and finished the sentence: Big sister, add a glass of water!

14, when I lost love, I made myself a ghost, sitting on the side of the road, looking at the distance emptyly. At some point, I had a broken bowl with an opening in front of me, and I raised my head, and a beggar said to me, "Little brother, you don't want to eat without a bowl, just like a soldier doesn't carry a gun!" ”