1, accidentally bumped into the chest of a beautiful woman, I did not care, turned to leave, but she was angry, pulled me and asked me to apologize. I said I had never apologized in my life, to you and me

1, accidentally bumped into the chest of a beautiful woman, I did not care, turned to leave, but she was angry, pulled me and asked me to apologize. I said that I have never apologized in my life, and I can't make an exception for you, although you are beautiful, your figure is good, your temperament is outstanding, and your dress also amazes me, but I will never apologize to you. She said fiercely, slippery tongue, you bumped into me and want to leave, that is impossible, you don't apologize, I will not let you go. I sighed, threw a bank card to her, and proudly said, there are three hundred thousand in it, you take it. She was pleasantly surprised to be my girlfriend, I quickly got rid of her, joking, there are only two cents in the bank card, I dare not continue to tangle with her!

2. The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends: Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 687 points, I just took the test 688 points! The father-in-law commented in the following seconds: Haha, good coincidence, my daughter also scored 688 points in the college entrance examination! At that time, the sister-in-law was stunned, and replied at the bottom: Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?

3. The project that has been busy for two months is finally completed, and I take my girlfriend to RT-Mart. They all bought several clothes and looked at a coat. I just slapped it in the face: "Let you buy, let you buy." The girlfriend was so frightened that she took my hand and said, "Honey, don't fight, I don't buy, don't buy." I put my hand down and said, "That's pretty much it, let's go home." "I rubbed my face, and my heart was bitter, and I was too cruel to myself."

4, female colleagues came to me and said: "Brother, if there is a girl who does not want a bride price, does not want a house, does not want a car, and then she wants to marry you, will you marry her?" I carefully looked at the female colleague: "If what you say is true, then this girl must be 200 pounds, do you believe it?" "The female colleague cried and left, went straight to the boss's office, the boss called me in, talked to me for a while, and in the afternoon I took the initiative to propose to the female colleague." Others were shocked, but I was very excited, and the boss said to give me a bride price when I got married, according to the equivalent weight of female colleagues. In fact, money is not important, mainly like fat people, some people believe it? "

5. Once I went to the ATM machine next to the school to withdraw money, and the machines were in the form of small compartments. It's like the squat compartment of a school toilet, even the color is exactly the same! There was a compartment at the time, I directly pulled the door in to lock the door bolt, and then I began to take off my pants, when I was going to squat down, I found that there was no urinal, I felt that something was wrong, I came to withdraw money!

6. The old man was hit into the hospital by a drunk-driving Maserati and was also observed in the intensive care unit, and the owner of the car lost 650,000 yuan. I used the money to pick up a second-hand BIG BEN GLS63 and drove today to visit my husband who was discharged from the hospital. He was practicing walking in a trembling yard when his five-year-old brother-in-law played music on his mobile phone to accompany him. As a result, the old man was furious: "Rabbit cub, what do you mean by playing plants vs zombie music?" ”

7. At the key university reading meeting, there are not only beautiful women in the school, but also many bully. One day, I went to the cafeteria with my schoolmate to eat. I made small talk and said, "Why haven't I seen you go to the library for a long time?" The roommate replied, "That's a shamisen bookstore, I don't go!" I asked doubtfully, "Sanwei Bookstore?" The roommate replied, "Yes, it's full of girls' perfume, boys' stinky feet, and Xiu'en's love of dog food!" ”

8. After marriage, my sister and brother-in-law quarreled for the first time, and my brother-in-law was admitted to the hospital. I asked, my brother-in-law should not be out of the hospital for two weeks, and his whole body was injured. I wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes for him and said to him, "In the future, if my sister does anything, remember not to fight back, run if you can run, if you can't run, you will hold your head tightly!" "After the brother-in-law listened, he no longer had to endure, and cried like a child... ??

9. At night, the nephew took his sister-in-law to the supermarket to buy something, and suddenly the nephew had a low blood sugar head and was very dizzy. The nephew picked up a box of Dove chocolates directly from the shelf and ate it, just in time to be seen by a shopping guide. Come up and scold the nephew: Why are you so faceless, this is RT-Mart, not your home, you can't eat without money! The nephew just wanted to explain, when the manager of RT-Mart came over. Then the manager yelled at the shopping guide: Will you talk? This is our boss!

10. The daughter-in-law stole the soft Chinese cigarette that her father was reluctant to smoke and took it back to her mother's house to honor her husband. I knew that I was particularly angry later, and I had a big fight with my wife. Finally, my wife said to me, "Husband, I'll admit that I was wrong, and then you'll say I'm right, okay?" I nodded in agreement, and my wife said, "I was wrong." I said, "Well, you're so right!" ”

11, the buddy's wife hated him for being too weak, abandoned him and got along with a 20-year-old young muscular man. The buddy borrowed alcohol all day to dispel his sorrows, and the alcohol addiction became very large, but since I helped her run errands to buy alcohol, the buddy actually gave up drinking directly. On this day, the brother bought three bottles of Maotai and came to my house happily to thank you. Surprised, I asked, "I also take your money to do things for you, what is there to thank?" The buddy said with a serious face, "Of course I want to thank you!" If you hadn't gradually mixed water into my wine over the past few years, how could I quit drinking now? Now, I can drink a glass of water at home and get over the addiction! ”?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #