1, female colleagues asked me to go to her house for tea, the result was to the door to forget to bring the key, I said wait for your husband to come back, ah, she said that it was a mistake. We called the master who unlocked the lock, and the master came to stir up the tricks

1, female colleagues asked me to go to her house for tea, the result was to the door to forget to bring the key, I said wait for your husband to come back, ah, she said that it was a mistake. We called the master who unlocked the lock, and the master came to drum for a few seconds and then opened it, saying that it was 100 yuan. Female colleagues let me pay, I think it is expensive, not to mention that it is not my home, I said to the master 50 lines no, the master said that the market price is 100. I said that your 100 yuan was too easy to earn, and the master couldn't lock the door again, saying that he didn't want the door-to-door fee. My female colleague and I were dumbfounded, she offered to go to the hotel, I refused, I really just paid 50 bucks. Therefore, remind everyone that when you go out with more money, the opportunity is only given to those who are prepared.

2, tonight specially go home early to cook and wait for the wife to come home, and take advantage of the wife's happiness when eating. And my wife said: Every month, with that little money, I can't afford to smoke. The son silently put down the dishes and chopsticks and walked into the room, and when he came out, he was holding a box in his hand, which contained the money he had saved, one piece, five pieces... I burst into tears, and then I heard him say, "Mom, you still have to take care of the safety."

3. This afternoon, I went to the bank to pay my daughter more than 10,000 yuan for tuition fees, accommodation fees, and tuition and miscellaneous fees. On the way home, I said to her: From childhood to adulthood, I spent a lot of money on you! Daughter: Dad, you are an investment! Me: How many Huibao can there be? Her: Dad, don't you know that investing is risky? Well, I know now...

4, I introduced a boyfriend to the eldest niece, let her go on a blind date as soon as possible, and when she returned, the eldest niece came to me angrily. Big niece: "Uncle, how dare anyone introduce me, this person, always stick out of hand, I don't agree!" Me: "What's wrong with taking a stick, it's good to take a stick, from ancient times to the present, big people can't do without sticks, the stick in Sun Yat-sen's hand is called the staff of civilization, the stick in Beethoven's hand is called the baton, the stick in Sun Wukong's hand is called the golden hoop stick, and the stick in Qiao Feng's hand is called the dog stick" Big niece: "Don't say it, no matter what you say, I will not marry a cripple!" "Me:"

5, the brother-in-law is very fascinated by the game, the sister is very disgusted with him to play the game for the sake of the game ignore the sister. On this day, my sister said to my brother-in-law: Husband, I am pregnant. The brother-in-law was stunned for a moment, then jumped up and said: Really? I'll give my dad a happy day! So the brother-in-law immediately quit the game, and then ran home and said: Dad, I have come to announce the good news to you, you are going to be a grandson! I saw that my brother-in-law's father suddenly had a black line on his face, and my sister laughed madly. After the brother-in-law found out that he said it wrong, he quickly changed his mouth: I was so excited, I just said it was wrong, it was you who wanted to have a grandfather! The brother-in-law's father couldn't help it, and he directly started to beat it...

6. The second uncle took a piece of Yuxi cigarette this day and came to my house as a guest. After the second uncle left, I secretly unwrapped a package, and then smoked it and lit it. Dad found out, and he beat me up and confiscated the cigarette. My dad took the cigarette case and saw that it was Yuxi, and my dad said: I can't afford to smoke Yuxi! So, pick up the feather duster and beat me up again! "

7. At noon, Xiaopo went downstairs to buy water. I quickly said, "Dude, help me buy a box of cigarettes." "Give him $50 after saying that." Twenty minutes later, Xiao Po returned with a bitter face. I said, "What's the matter, I'll take the cigarette." Poe cried and told me, "Brother! I can't stop you. I went to buy cigarettes and met my daughter-in-law, and she said that I actually hid the money in my private house, and then stole the money! ”?

8, yesterday overtime until midnight to go home, I said to my girlfriend, tomorrow morning she must wake up quietly, otherwise I can't sleep. My girlfriend said she knew, and I thought it would be so comfortable to get a lazy night's sleep tomorrow. At night, I stayed up late and watched TV for a while, and before I knew it, I fell asleep. As a result, I woke up this morning to find that my body was covered with turtles, vivid, and written "Look, I didn't wake up!" ”

9. The daughter-in-law is a postdoctoral fellow who graduated from Normal University and is now a teacher in a primary school, teaching Chinese subjects. In class today, my daughter-in-law assigned an essay to her classmates. The next day, checking the composition, an essay written by a female student made the daughter-in-law laugh. This female student is not distinguished between "sister" and "socks", and the title is called "Washing Girls". The whole article was read from the sister to the washing girl, and the daughter-in-law read it again. Finally read: I put my sister into the basin, poured some water, rubbed and rubbed, and finally still did not wash!!

10. I am a girl from the countryside, and I have been admitted to a university in the city with my own efforts. Once I wore a pair of canvas shoes, which I thought I was the best looking, the most dirty pair. A male classmate in our class also wore a pair similar to mine. Then the other girls coaxed: Are you two shoes the same? Couples? What was more chilling was the boy's answer: I am Converse's her that? I don't know where to buy the stalls. At that time, I really didn't understand what kind of psychology they were when they said these words, even if my shoes were really unbranded stalls.

11. Stole the Chinese cigarette that his father was reluctant to smoke and went to honor his father-in-law. My father-in-law was so happy that he had to stay at his house to eat. At the dinner table, my father-in-law told me that he was a stutterer when he was a child and was later cured. I asked him how he did it, and my father-in-law said that his father had found a home remedy from nowhere in order to cure his stuttering: it is said that in the instant of thunder, the stutterer slapped a big mouth, and the stuttering could be fine. And I asked, Dad, is that how you got cured?" Father-in-law: Of course not, but my father thought that the timing of the mouth was not mastered, so he slapped my mouth as soon as there was thunder, and I didn't want to be beaten to practice speaking every day, stuttering was good!!!! "

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #