1, my wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old this year, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, mine

1, my wife went abroad, the family left me and my mother-in-law two people, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my mother-in-law in a company as a financial director, the ability is very outstanding, the income is also very high, so there are many bachelors want to pursue my mother-in-law. But because my wife was not happy that her mother would find a stepfather for herself, she has always opposed her mother's remarriage. This time my wife went abroad, and many bachelors felt that there was an opportunity, and they all flocked to my house to propose to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law was embarrassed to face such a scene, so she asked my son-in-law to come forward for her. In the end, I worked out of the shadows, selected the chairman of our company, and let him and my mother-in-law come together. Our chairman promised me that when he retired, the whole company would be taken care of by me. I'm so witty!

2, the husband does not eat meat a day is uncomfortable, the favorite is the pig's trotters. On this day, I bought five pounds of pig's trotters and two pounds of elbows to go home. Then call your husband: Come back early for dinner and get your favorite pig's trotters. But the surrounding is too noisy, my husband did not understand it for half a day, provoked me to yell at the mobile phone, said: I asked you if you want to come back to eat meat? There was a sudden silence around me, everyone stared at me, looked at me, looked at the flesh on my hands...

3, in the middle of the night three more, a young man and a beautiful woman carpooled a taxi to take a taxi. When the destination arrived, the beautiful woman suddenly signaled the young man not to get up, and took out 10 yuan and handed it to the driver, saying: "Master, please take this big brother and pocket another 10 yuan wind." The young man said, "Beauty, I'm going to get off here too!" Beauty pointed to the front and whispered, "That person is my boyfriend, you are taller than him, you look more handsome than him, three times in the middle of the night, we both get off at the same time, I am afraid that he will misunderstand, you will pocket another 10 yuan wind!" ”

4. I am a small actor, because of the relationship between work and need to fly a lot. Because of this, I got into a relationship with a flight attendant and she became my girlfriend. One day, when she was off work, I took her to the water park to play. Not long after she was in the water, suddenly a big wave came and couldn't find her. Later, an ugly woman took my hand, and I directly slapped it and scolded: "Brother has a girlfriend!" ”

5. The cousin who is born beautiful is the school flower of Fudan University, and I heard that I found a boyfriend who practices weightlifting. Unexpectedly, the two lived together for a week, and my cousin broke up with someone decisively! Curious, I asked her, "Why did you break up?" She pulled open her turtleneck sweater, pulled up the hem of her pants, pointed to the bruised handprints on her neck and ankles, and said, "He likes to sleepwalk and practice grabbing at night!" ”

6, today is really unlucky, I wanted to go out at night to walk the dog, but I met a robber! He searched on me for half a day and didn't find it, and when he left, he said: "Poor goods, don't go out in the future!" I got angry and said to him, "Don't go, look down on anyone, I'll call you to borrow!" "Then I started calling my friends to borrow it, and I didn't borrow it for half a day. The robber patted me on the shoulder and handed me two hundred dollars: "Brother, I have pierced my heart." You take it first! ”?

7, after work home to eat, saw a crab on the table, dad said: "Come back, I am full, this crab you eat." "I lowered my head and grabbed the rice, and the tears suddenly burst out of my eyes, and the bar clicked on the rice grains. Dad: "Son, Dad is old, it's useless, you can clean up the table after eating." He pointed to a pile of crab shells in front of him that looked like a hill and said...?

8, the old man in the office and the little secretary to communicate work, suddenly saw a news: "There is a 25-year-old courier in the 45 degree heat, send about 500 couriers, sudden death!" The old man listened, and the little secretary got up and said regretfully: "It's a pity to die at such a young age!" The old man lit a cigarette and said to her in a serious tone, "You buy less online, you don't buy and sell, you don't kill!" The little secretary nodded and said, "When you said that, I felt that I was quite cruel." ”?

9. When I came home from work, I suddenly received a phone call and stopped to answer the phone. At this time, a Passat scraped the Jaguar when it reversed! I asked the Passat driver, "Dude, why are you driving?" Do you know how to drive? How do I get my driver's license? The Passat driver quickly smiled and said, "I'm sorry brother, I'll pay you 1,000 yuan." "I took the money, and when the driver left, I quickly got on my bike and ran away with a cigarette...?"

10. When I studied nursing in college, I was a boy in the class at that time, which was really a star. After graduation, I went to a small hospital in town for an internship. One day, the doctor told me to go to the pharmacy to get a bottle of 20 percent concentration of liquid medicine, which did not have such a liquid. So, I took two bottles of ten percent concentration of the liquid and went back to the difference. The doctor said to me helplessly: Young man, there is no twenty-year-old girl, can you find two ten-year-old girls to make it up?

11. When I was in the third grade of elementary school, I thought that any animal with wings could fly, so I threw my mother's chicken into the sky. As a result, the force made him fall on the branches outside and fall to his death. I was so frightened that I didn't know what to do, so I put the chicken on a small tree. My dad came home from work and asked me: What's wrong with this chicken? I stuttered and said, "Dad, this chicken in our family is crazy, he has to learn to take off on a plane, and he wants to go to heaven and end up like this." If it wasn't for Grandma's protection, I would almost not have been able to get over that hurdle!!

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