1, today the son broke a glass, was criticized by the daughter-in-law to go to the corner penalty station, at this time the daughter-in-law girlfriend just came to my house as a guest, saw the son in the penalty station, the daughter-in-law girlfriend jokingly said:

1, today the son broke a glass, after being criticized by the daughter-in-law to go to the corner penalty station, at this time the daughter-in-law girlfriend just came to my home as a guest, saw the son in the penalty station, the daughter-in-law girlfriend joked: Your mother is so bad to you, let your father change your mother, I will give you a new mother. The son said lightly: Then can you pick me up and take me to school every day, buy me snacks every day, and give me pocket money to spend? The daughter-in-law's girlfriend smiled and said: Of course. The son snorted and said: No wonder last time my mother said that you had a crush on my father, and now she wants to be my stepmother. Emma, is this what a three-year-old is saying?

2, my sister's birthday is the Mid-Autumn Festival, the day is more special, so I will always remember. Today my daughter-in-law said to me: I want to buy a Chanel bag for my sister online, it will be her birthday. Me: Buy it, do you want to buy one too? The daughter-in-law shook her head: Not for the time being. I was relieved that my daughter-in-law was finally more frugal. Two days later, the courier was delivered. The daughter-in-law tore open the courier and took the bag to look at it repeatedly: Well, the style is very good, then I also want to buy one.

3. After I graduated, I have submitted resumes to many companies, but they have not passed. Although it did not pass, but I had great expectations for life, so I went to the courier company to work to deliver the goods. Once, when delivering a courier, I met a man named Fang Zhan, who couldn't get through the phone. I had to shout downstairs in my throat: Fang Zhan. Five minutes later, I heard a female voice: I know, just come down. I was wondering, why is a girl called Fang Zhan? Just thinking about it, a girl hurried over and shouted: "Donor, you are illiterate or illiterate!" Girl my name is Fang Wen!

4, rare matchmakers take the initiative to come to the door to propose, I do not agree, when my father asked me why? I replied with some resistance: "Although she is a little disabled, her family is too rich than our family, like I am a high climber, I hope that my future girlfriend is better to be beautiful, even if she is poorer than our family." Dad nodded his head heavily and said, "Hmm! This ghost weather is getting colder, you go to the next house to borrow a few newspapers, come back and paste the window!?

5. Some time ago, when climbing the mountain, I met a big brother. We had a special conversation, and today we have a small gathering together again. During this period, I don't know how to talk about genetically modified foods. The eldest brother said very sincerely: Don't eat genetically modified foods anymore, it hurts the child too much, and my child and I do paternity testing genes do not match, it is because the children eat genetically modified foods and changed the genes. I was a little confused and asked: Who is listening to all this knowledge? He proudly said that his wife had told him...

6, buddy sold the newly bought iPhone 12 for 9,000 yuan. He was particularly pleased and invited me to an upscale restaurant for a drink of Moutai wine. In the end I was a little drunk, went home and knocked on the door, just didn't open. It seems that my wife was angry, and at that time, she also drank some wine and directly knocked on the door. With a "bang", I crashed straight in! Big brother, you listen to me explain me, I really live upstairs, it is indeed the wrong door!

7. Since he repaid 1,000 yuan to his brothers, he regarded me as a good brother. During the college entrance examination, Xueba and I were assigned to an examination room and the front and back tables. Fifteen minutes before the turnaround time, my roll was still blank. I was at a loss when the bully suddenly stuffed me with a note. I was very excited, thinking that this brother I had made up my mind! Finally, I opened it with trembling, and it said impressively: Let's go drink something after the exam?

8. After the college entrance examination, I was admitted to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and my family was very happy. When I came home from winter vacation, there was an elder at home, and we went to the restaurant to eat together. When I got to a restaurant, the owner came up to say hello and asked me if I was going to school or work. The elder said, "This kid was admitted to Massachusetts this year." Then, humbly, I said that I didn't study well, and the words "all by luck" had not yet been uttered. The boss then said, "Hey, don't say that, it's a university!" ”

9, the community under the building opened a new barbecue shop, business is very good at night and wife to go to the scene. The waiter's little brother came over with a tray full of dishes, and after laying them out, the husband asked: Are you finished? The little brother raised his head, looked at his husband with a confused face, hesitated, and replied: I am finished, and I have graduated from secondary school. My husband listened to me stunned, turned to me, pondered for a moment, and said: This should be a metaphor, secondary school graduation means that your dishes are on the same page. I......

10, my husband often plays with my girlfriend, today my daughter came back from school with a blue nose and swollen face, scared me and my husband, asked her what was wrong, she said: "Today I used the method my father taught me to fight with children, but I am still not very skilled!" I was furious. I was about to find the parents of the classmate when my doorbell rang! Looking at the little fat boy outside the door with bandages wrapped around his head and crying, I fell into contemplation.

11. This night, I charged the old man with a phone bill, and the result number was filled in with a wrong number, and I charged 500 yuan to others. After half a day of heartache, thinking that he would not be able to come, he sent a text message to him: "No thanks, I have money is so willful!" "After a few minutes! I received a text message prompt of 10086: "Recharge and pay 1000 yuan!" The other party's text message also came over: "Brother is so poor that he has money left, you still have to help others." "When I went, I met such a wayward person, and it was really helpless...

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