1, quarrel with the husband, a gamble back to the mother's house. The four-year-old girl called me and whispered, "Mom, you should come back quickly, you are not at home these days, and every day a woman comes to my house to give it to me."

1, quarrel with the husband, a gamble back to the mother's house. The four-year-old girl called me and whispered, "Mom, you come back quickly, you are not at home these days, every day a woman comes to our house to buy me good food and cook for us." As soon as I listened, I quickly packed up my things and went home. When I got home, the object of the little uncle was coaxing the girlfriend to play, and the girlfriend pounced on me and hugged me and said, "Mom, the aunt's idea is really good, you really will come back soon."

2. My son has not been in good health since he was a child, and it is easy to have diarrhea when he eats cold. Once, the eldest sister came to visit relatives with her child, and his son was eating ice cream at the time, so he secretly tasted it for my son. As a result, once the brother ate it, the son fell in love with ice cream. After eating, I asked my mother-in-law: Grandma, what did I just eat? My mother-in-law said it was SHI, my son didn't believe it, said it was chocolate. The mother-in-law insisted that it was SHI! Finally my son compromised and said: Grandma, I still want to eat SHI, let's go to the supermarket to buy SHI!

3. In the dental clinic, the brother-in-law said: How much does it cost to remove a wisdom tooth? The dentist says: Extracting a wisdom tooth is about 500. The brother-in-law said: Can you be cheaper, you can not use anesthesia. The dentist said: Then you can stand it, if so count you 400. The brother-in-law said: What if you don't have to pull it out and let the intern at the door? The dentist said: You are sure that they are not light or heavy. The brother-in-law nodded firmly and said: How much is it now? The dentist said: Count your 300. After listening, the brother-in-law turned his head to the door and shouted: Wife, come in.

4. After work on weekends, I made an appointment with Fa Xiao to go shopping on the street together. Saw a billboard on the road, small: tourism health? How can there still be such ads? I turned my head to look at it, and it was clearly written swimming fitness. After walking for a while, he said: You go first, I'll get a haircut! I looked around without a barber shop, and he pointed to a large plaque above and shouted: Beauty salon, such a big word, you can't see? I looked up and looked again, and I was sure it was a gourmet! I said, "It's time for you to wear glasses!"

5, buddy is a high-quality student in the department of physics, some time ago the family had a hard time introducing a girlfriend, the two also have a good feeling for each other, just together. On this day the two went on a date in the park, sitting on a roadside bench, his girlfriend asked: Do you want to know what it's like to kiss? Dude said: According to my analysis, kissing is two mouths to overcome the friction of air resistance to do work, and when the friction speed is large enough, it will become four sausages. Girlfriend: Go rub your physics book!

6. When we were in high school, our class ranked first in the whole school, and the principal gave us a new class teacher. On the first day he came to give me a lesson while I slept on my stomach on the table. When you wake up, you find the class counting: "40! ”“45！” “50！” I also excitedly echoed: "100! At this moment the air in the class was quiet, and the teacher was staring at me. Later, I learned that the class teacher asked everyone to guess his age.

7, today with my girlfriend to take the bus, because there is no seat and sitting next to the elderly, the girlfriend motion sickness lying in my arms, I saw an old man next to me is not much old, I had the courage to say: "Uncle, my wife is pregnant, can you stand?" We got out of the car in a minute. The uncle readily agreed, and my girlfriend suddenly shouted, "Dad! "Uncle's face was green at that time!" Look at me again, I was scared at the time!!?

8, colleagues today a face of death, I walked over to ask him what happened, why is his face so ugly. My friend said with a sad face that he would never see anyone again. Then he told me his story. At that time, his son had just been born, and as a result, his daughter-in-law ran away with a rich man for money, and he was particularly uncomfortable and never remarried. Now my son is going to have a parent-teacher conference in elementary school, and it just so happens that my friend's company has an affair and can't get out, so the child says to the teacher: My father is busy. The teacher said: Then mother come. As a result, the child flipped his father's wife out of the box and carried it on his back to a parent-teacher conference!

9. When working at Foxconn, there was a female colleague who was particularly fat, and she seemed to be fat as a physical problem, because she was usually not very able to eat. On this day, female colleagues complained to me: Why are other girls so thin and so good-looking, only I am so fat! I comforted her and said, "Don't worry, at least you'll live longer than they do." Female Colleague: Why? Me: Didn't you read 'Quality equals life' written at the door of our factory? "

10, weekend rest, early in the morning the mother brought breakfast to me, and then smiled and said: "My baby daughter, so tired at work, don't get up today, eat in the bed!" "I was instantly moved by my mother's red eyes. At noon, my stomach hurt badly, and I got up and went to the bathroom to. As a result, many relatives and friends in the family saw me and said in unison: "When did you come back, didn't your mother say that you and your boyfriend went on a trip?" "I was speechless at the time....?

11, Recently, the mother reached menopause, like a bomb unstable, said angry is angry. So, every time I come home, I'll shout at the door first: "Dear mother, I'm back." "If I hear, 'My son is back,' I'll go in." If you hear "Do you still know to come back?" "I turned my head and ran, going anywhere safer than home.

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