1, the wife who has been running at night recently, can't stay at home on Friday. Me: Why didn't you go today? Wife: There is a barbecue stall next to the night run. Me: And then what?

1, the wife who has been running at night recently, can't stay at home on Friday. Me: Why didn't you go today? Wife: There is a barbecue stall next to the night run. Me: And then what? Wife: It's closed today, so I don't have the motivation to run at night.

2, in order to be able to buy a cheap house, I went to an intermediary company to work. I worked in the store for a year, and I often saw the store manager come to work with a blue nose and swollen face, and I was very curious about this matter for a long time. Today I asked my colleagues: "Why did our store manager come to work today with a scarred face?" Colleague: "I must have been beaten by his wife!" Me: "How do you know?" Colleague: "Every time the store manager scolds me, I anonymously send a photo of a beautiful woman to his home..."

3, I am doing sales, a few days ago the company sent me an assistant, said let me take him. The intern is a young girl, beautiful looking, but she is not very talkative, and often annoys customers. Today, I took her to visit a customer, and when exchanging business cards with customers, the customer said politely: The business cards printed this time are very ugly. She did not hesitate to interject: Did you print your avatar on your business card?

4. The husband of the female chairman hated her for having a daughter and divorced her. The female chairman posted 300,000 to marry me, and I immediately agreed. Now that my daughter is three years old, she has a very close relationship with me. Today my daughter asked me, "Dad, what is a handsome guy?" I confidently said, "A man like Dad is called a handsome guy." My wife slapped me: "Don't mislead the child's aesthetics!" ”

5, my brother is not young, everyone for his lifelong events cao heart, this is not I built a group of their own play of good single girlfriends all pulled in, and then pulled my brother a man into it. Today, the girlfriends in the group showed selfies in the group, and I thought about singing blackface to make my brother sing red face. I said: Ugly, not good-looking! At that time I was Ait my brother, brother you say yes? Then he said two words coldly: indeed! My girlfriends quit the group at that time!

6. The sister-in-law, who has a particularly strong sense of vanity, does not hesitate to betray herself in order to ascend to the throne, and gets along with her chairman. Sure enough, within a few days, the sister-in-law became the general manager of the company and was going to go on a business trip. My daughter-in-law asked me to drive her today, and in the morning I drove Lynk & Co 03 to pick her up. We drove all the way to the airport without a word, and she kept turning her head on the road to see what I had been trying to say. Almost there, she finally gave me a box of dumplings. Then she said shyly: Brother-in-law, thank you so much for today, give you money my sister does not want, this is my dumplings, you take some to eat.

7. When I was in school, a girl in my class lived with me. One day the girl asked me: Can I trouble you with one thing? I straightened up and said: What's the point! She said embarrassedly: If my boyfriend sends me back tonight, can you lock the door and not come out? I made an OK gesture, and the girl happily went out the door. As a result, she came back by herself that afternoon, and she didn't tell me what to do in this situation. I just don't know how to be good!

8, today when my boss walked into the office, he said, "What did you drink last night?" "I haven't drunk anything," I replied, "what's wrong?" He said, "You stink of wine." "That's probably the four cans I drank on the bus this morning."

9, some time ago there was a little sister plus my friend, chatted for a few days, I found that I seem to like her ... She is gentle, beautiful, and understanding, and the key is that she is very kind at heart. If it wasn't for a word she said to me today, I feel like I would really be in love with her. In the morning she asked me: Do you like tea?

10, this morning my dad brushed the circle of friends, saw a circle of friends very surprised to tell my mother, our daughter sent a circle of friends today to say that she was in love, my mother was a little surprised to say, how can this be. My dad said he had to talk to her when he came back tonight. My mother was very angry and said, talk, must talk, why block me, do not block you.

11, last night at 12 o'clock, I slept soundly in the dormitory, the mobile phone rang, very helpless to pick up, confused to ask "who?" The phone said, "I'm in the toilet, bring me some toilet paper." I said, "It's too late today, tomorrow." "Then I hung up the phone...

12, just busy playing a construction site, as one of the few chief engineers in the company, the company temporarily decided to let me take paid leave for two months, these two months can not get me out of the disease, idle I am straight to shiver. Today just happened to be the neighbor at home, want to find him to kill a few games of chess, the result of encountering people to educate children, the neighbor breathlessly said: This dead child, at school to listen to the teacher said the story of the drifting bottle, go home with a beer bottle to block the toilet, you say should not fight?

13. After the "Map of the Upper River of the Qingming Dynasty" was compiled into the "Shiqu Baodi" of the Qing Dynasty court, the beginning of the scroll was stamped with two seals of "Shiqu Baodi" and "Baodi Three Editions", which was regarded as giving an official name, so the "Qingming Upper River Map" collected by the Palace Museum today is also known as the "Shiqu Baodi Three Editions"

14, A: "Brother, remember a little, looking for a daughter-in-law, you must find a big fierce sister!" B: "Haha... What's wrong big brother, suspect sister-in-law is fierce? A: "It's not that I think she's a little fierce, it's her, buy Feng today." Cream, buy plenty of underwear tomorrow, buy milk the day after tomorrow. Paste, now I have to do the abundant surgery, I earn that little salary, all smashed into her fierce! "B:" ..."