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1. I was targeted by a sister who chased me for three years without my consent, and then she said she wanted to have a meal with me, and I agreed. At dinner, she said, "Brother, I've been chasing you for three years.

author:Little Miao Sister loves music

1. I was targeted by a sister who chased me for three years without my consent, and then she said she wanted to have a meal with me, and I agreed. At dinner, she said, "Brother, I chased you for three years, you didn't agree, my child is now 3 years old." But rest assured, I'll give you a 6 year old. At that time, I did not understand the sentence, in short, after eating I fainted, when I woke up again, my sister stood in front of the bed with a child, took my hand and said: "Husband, 6 years, you have been in a coma for 6 years, today I finally woke up, I and the child waited for you for 6 years." God pity you' finally recovered! "Such a beautiful woman, such a well-behaved child, kept me for 6 years, I was moved to cry at that time, I swore that I must treat them well." God treat me not thin!

2. My wife went out on a trip with a few girlfriends, and when she came back, her temperament changed greatly, and I asked her what happened to a girlfriend? It turned out that the second day in Hainan, the wife left with the netizens, until the last day, they would not get together, go home together, what happened in the middle, she did not know. As soon as I listened, I understood it all, I had a pale showdown with her, she did not hide the matter of meeting netizens, and then filed for divorce. She said that after she met this man, she knew what love was, because she was sorry for me, she decided to go out of the house, only to ask me not to pestering her anymore, I saw that she had made up her mind, and she did not reluctantly keep it, no children, and no property disputes, and soon we both went through the divorce procedures. When all the dust settled, I sat on the couch at home in the evening and dialed a phone: "It's all over, your work is done very well, a hundred thousand dollars have been hit on your account, and you can take care of it yourself." "After hanging up the phone, I walked to the floor-to-ceiling window and looked at the brilliant night view outside and let out a long breath. After a while someone knocked on the door, I opened it to see that it was a charming woman.......

3. I've been dating my girlfriend for three days, and tonight she's going to take me home to meet my parents! I could tell that her dad didn't approve of me very much, and after dinner her dad asked me to go to the balcony to talk. Her father smoked a cigarette and said, "Boy, you've only known each other for a week, do you know each other?" I smiled bitterly and said, "I don't know much about the specifics, only that she likes to grind her teeth when she sleeps, and she has a scar on her thigh." "Boy, it's cold outside, we say inside!"

4. ?? At night, while my husband and I were sleeping, a friend called to say that my girlfriend was injured, and I hurried to get dressed and rushed to the hospital. In the hospital, my girlfriend cried and said to me: You must polish your eyes when you come to find your husband! Me: What's wrong? He hit all the injuries on your body? Girlfriend: Today I was going to kick him down the stairs, but the cargo hid and I fell....?

5. While Dad wasn't home, I stole two packs of soft Chinese from him. After arriving at the company, I immediately called the manager to go to the smoking area to smoke. After the manager took the Chinese cigarette, he said to me: Boy, good job, I will definitely give you a promotion today. I was particularly excited and immediately stuffed a pack of Chinese cigarettes into the manager. When it was time to leave work, the manager transferred the group leader of the department chat group to me, and coaxed everyone to ask me for a red envelope and congratulate me on my promotion.

6. Because of the glory of the king, I was recruited by the QG team as the successor of the Flying Bull General. In order to be able to maintain a good arena condition, I work overtime every day to train and never have time to find a girlfriend. On this day, the brother introduced me to a partner, and before meeting, he was specifically told to dress better, and I asked him how to dress better? He said to wear the most expensive one. The next day I wore my Bosideng down jacket and went, and the woman saw me and turned around and left, I didn't clear the situation, so hot day, I was as hot as a dog, you are good, greeting without hitting and leaving, too rude, right?

7. I bought a house in Tomson Yipinxin and accidentally lost the key. I found an older master on the street, and after matching it, I was not at ease and tentatively asked: Master, has it been matched? The master smiled and waved his hand: I have been doing business in it for a long time, and I have not met repeat customers. When I got home, I found that I still didn't deserve it, and I questioned him. The master smiled: I mean I don't deserve it well, and those who come once will not come a second time

8. Yesterday the wife accompanied the sister-in-law who had a cold to the hospital to see a doctor, the doctor prescribed medicine for her to go to the pharmacy to get it, the sister-in-law said the name of the drug, the male pharmacist looked at the sister-in-law, very cautiously said: This medicine is forbidden for pregnant women! The sister-in-law said: I know, you help me get it. The pharmacist found the medicine and handed it to the sister-in-law but did not let go, he stared at the sister-in-law's stomach and said: This medicine cannot be taken by pregnant people. The sister-in-law snatched the medicine fiercely and said loudly: I am not pregnant, not married, no boyfriend, you still have a chance! Suddenly frightened, the pharmacist let go of his hand and hid behind the counter, and did not dare to ask for money!

9. My girlfriend who has been in love for three years doesn't know why she proposed to me to break up. I begged bitterly, "Please give me another chance!!!!!!!! The girlfriend said coldly: "Impossible, must break up." I said, "You'll beg me to come back!!!!!!!! Sure enough, a few minutes later she called me and said, "You come back!!!!!!!! I was triumphant: "Please, haha." The girlfriend yelled, "What do you mean by putting a big lock on the door of my house when you walk away!!!!!!!! ”

10. Recently lost weight, I felt that I lost 1 kg, thinking about my thin and beautiful appearance in the near future, I couldn't help but be overjoyed, and said happily to my son: "Son, you will soon have a beautiful mother!" Hahaha". The husband on the side said happily: "So, I can finally get married for the second time?" ”

11. There was a family gathering when I brought my girlfriend with me! Just came up a dish, the girlfriend was a little impatient, the girlfriend took a sip with a small spoon, looking very hot! But so many people, for the sake of the lady, were embarrassed to spit it out, and they had to hold back tears and drink it. Then my dad saw that she was drinking so much, and he also picked up a larger spoon, filled it with a spoon, and directly threw it back! #Funny Strip#"

 #Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #

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