1. Divorced female colleague had to marry me, I thought she had an 8-year-old daughter, so her daughter came to talk to me: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said:

1. Divorced female colleague had to marry me, I thought she had an 8-year-old daughter, so her daughter came to talk to me: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said, "You just think I'm a drag bottle?" "I said yes. She suddenly sneered: "Uncle, you are so stupid, I am a girl, not a son, what are you worried about?" Don't look at me small, they all say that I am a beautiful embryo, and after 10 years, I will be a beautiful woman, and when I get married, you will have to receive a bride price. "I said yes. She continued: "If you find a first-time marriage, get married and have children now, and raise a child to 8 years old, it will cost you 100,000 yuan, not including your 8 years of anger because of children." You see you, married my mother, have a child, have a wife, how happy! "Not to mention, when I heard her say this, I was moved. She's 8 now, her mom is 35 and I'm 19. 10 years later I'm 29, she's 18 years old, and we don't seem to have a big gap in age. If I take good care of it, we should not feel violated when we are together, right?

2. Once upon a time there was a turtle that was always bullied in the ocean, and one day it couldn't stand it, so it climbed up from the sea to land and stayed on land. It found that the animals on the continent would not bully it, so it began to preach how beautiful the sea was, and the brainless animals on the continent were worshipped as gods. It always says that land is not good, that is not good, denounces the inhumanity of lions eating lambs, and never mentions that the big fish in the sea eat small fish. One day, a newborn calf asked, "Then why don't you return to the sea?" It said, "I return to the sea as an ordinary king eight." ”

3. The social brothers who were once the best brothers in their childhood have now become strict wives.

On this day I asked the good guy who was doing the laundry: If your girlfriend called you on a game and asked you to accompany him shopping, would you go? Dude: Is this still asking, and I will definitely quit the game without hesitation.

Me: There are not many people like you! Dude: Yes, after all, the game is more important than life, and the latter is definitely more important.

4. When you graduate from university, you need to submit a thesis. I thought it was too much trouble and bought a paper on a small website. Later, our mentor found out and called me to the office. He said, "Little Fat, didn't you write this paper yourself!!! "As soon as I heard it, I knew it had been revealed, and I quickly admitted my mistake. Mentor: "It's okay, I decided to give you 'excellent' !!! I wondered, "Why??? Supervisor: "This paper was written when I was in college, and my teacher only gave me a 'pass', but I always thought that my paper should be 'excellent' !!! ”

5. My surname is Shen, usually my classmates call me Lao Shen, and my grandfather is also called Lao Shen by my family. On this day, a classmate came to my house and knocked on the door, which my father had opened. However, my classmate saw that it was not me who opened the door, but my father, and his mouth still broke out a sentence: Is Old Shen there? At that time, my father was stunned, and directly came to the sentence: My father is not here!?

6. The female manager invited her girlfriend to her house to play, and the girlfriend was too nervous to accidentally get a vase that she had placed on the table on the ground, and the girlfriend said to the female manager: "I'm really sorry, such a good vase is broken!?" The female manager said angrily: "No, let your boyfriend lose!?" The girlfriend said: "Well, the key moment to see the boyfriend's loyalty!?" So, the girlfriend called the boyfriend. Only to hear a bell coming out of the large closet next to it, and the air suddenly became quiet!? Girlfriend: "Did I dial the wrong phone?" ”

7. I am about to graduate from Tsinghua University, and I need to prepare my graduation thesis in advance. But I didn't have any thoughts, so I thought about asking the teacher how to do. So I carried a bag of mangoes to the teacher's house, and the teacher smiled and said: Thank you, my daughter is allergic to mangoes, and the allergy drugs in my house are piled up!? Just as I was embarrassed, her elementary school daughter came over. The daughter tugged at her sleeve and said, "Or else, or the medicine will be wasted."

8. Sneaking around with my mother-in-law's mobile phone and finding that her Alipay spending quota was as high as 1.2 million, I immediately cashed out 1.2 million to my mobile phone and got on the train and ran. Met a very beautiful girl on the train. I pretended to stare at her inadvertently for a moment, and who knew that the girl suddenly said to me: The phone is under me. I gave her the phone and she made a call directly with her own phone and returned it to me. I was immediately happy and broken, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? After a while I received a text from her: You zipper is not pulled. #Funny##Funny Funny##Funny Humor Anecdotes#[666] Please leave your valuable likes, that's what motivates me to continue to be happy.