1. A certain death row inmate was executed, and the death row prisoner who was taken to the execution site was shot and said to the executioner: Oh my God! How can you do anything to an unarmed man?" The executioner took a village chief's iron nail from his pocket and placed it

1. A certain death row inmate was executed, and the death row prisoner who was taken to the execution site was shot and said to the executioner: Oh my God! How can you do anything to an unarmed man?" The executioner took a village chief's iron nail from his pocket and put it in the hands of the executed prisoner, saying: I have seen many people like you, and now you are not unarmed, you can shoot! Death row:

2, confused sleep until the middle of the night, suddenly feel someone next to me, I was shocked, the person covered my mouth, through the moonlight, I looked still a handsome guy, handsome guy said to me, he had no intention of offending me, drank too much, only to come back here, (formerly his rental house) Here are his and her good memories, saying that he is leaving, I struggle to leave him ..." ... Late for work, don't catch me! "My husband's voice, I jumped up from a high!" Temede, it's a dream!

3) At first, they came to catch the murderer, and I didn't speak because I wasn't a murderer. Then they came to catch the rapist and I didn't speak because I wasn't a rapist. Later, they came to arrest the B prisoner, and no one spoke for me anymore.

4. After graduating from Jiangxi University of Science and Technology, my brother-in-law came to Tencent's headquarters to do game development, and later learned that her boss was actually my ex-girlfriend. Just a week after going to work, the brother-in-law made a big mistake at work, and the board of directors discussed and decided to dismiss the brother-in-law. The brother-in-law called his wife in grievance, and the wife was anxious, so she asked me to go to my ex-girlfriend to plead. No way, I called my ex-girlfriend. After the ex-girlfriend asked about the situation, she said, "Are you stupid?" She asked you to look for me, you look for me? Do you have a brain? This is clearly a temptation! If I did you this favor, she would have killed you

5, a brother in our village labor export in Africa to work, he said, there are often many animals next to the yard. One day I suddenly saw a baboon carrying an egg through the kitchen window! Nima, was chased away by him! When cooking, I found that many eggs were empty shells! Le cao! After biting a hole and sucking it up, put the shell back! You're going to be a sperm!"

6, buddy let people cheat to CX organization, less than two months let people out of the family, it is said that this big brother listened to the class on the fall asleep, the lecturer woke him up with the girl next to him to chat, but also specially picked a good look of flirtation, open a meal to eat meat, others do not give him meat to spit into the dish, sleep at night to watch the film without headphones, the key he does not show other people. How domineering!

7, today I a brother came to my house to play, I greeted him with six dishes and a soup. When it was time to eat, the girlfriend also came. She told me to go out and buy a bottle of wine, and she was going to entertain my buddies. I thought it was right, I couldn't eat without wine, so I went down to buy wine. When I bought a bottle of Jian Nanchun in class, I opened the door and saw my girlfriend's face flushed. Strange, how is the girlfriend so strange today, not without red wine, how the face is so red. I quickly turned the air conditioner to the minimum, afraid she was too hot.

8, colleague Zhang Ge asked me: Xiao Du, are you still single? Don't look for a snake! Me: What happened to Brother Zhang? Brother Zhang: You know that your sister-in-law belongs to the snake? Recently, I actually didn't make breakfast in bed, I didn't cook dinner, and I was handed over the housework! She said she was of the snake, hibernating, and she had no strength! Me: Thank you Brother Zhang! Remember!

9, the two boys are discussing about Mulan's father joining the army. A certain A said disapprovingly: "Since Hua Mulan is a woman, she spends day and night with a group of men in the army, dressing, eating, bathing, and sleeping together, in fact, her truth will soon be revealed." An old god was there and said, "Idiot! Do you think anyone would want to report her? ”

10, sometimes I suddenly hate mobile phones. This book is good to look at. Wasn't this book a favorite to read before? Look again. Hey what time it is. Take a look at your phone. Paint and go. Wash your clothes and go. Cook to eat. Well, take a nap. Take your phone. Nothing fun. Sleepy, sleep. When you don't play with your phone, you feel like you're living on the ground. That's good.

11, the first day: sunny day Thunderbolt two: return to normal, continue to sleep three: eat meals, sleep sleep four: eat meals, sleep sleep, play games five: eat meals, sleep, play games, watch TV six: eat meals, sleep, play games, watch TV, chat Seven: Temporary Buddha foot exam: shaking hands, numbness, see each question seems to have been said, but I just did not listen to the sub-paper: Buddha kicked me a foot

12. A foreign classmate of the same class taught by a Chinese student Chinese and taught for a while, and the classmate invited him to dinner. At the dinner table, Chinese students wanted to test this foreign student, so they asked in English: "How to use Chinese when you are full of food." The foreign student replied, "I'm full." The international student asked again, "How do you say that you are very full?" The foreign student replied, "I held on." The international student continued to ask, "Very full and very supportive." The foreign student thought about it and replied, "I've eaten enough to support." ”

13, after eating dinner and going home alone, when I was about to reach the door of the community, I suddenly jumped out of the corner of the road and said viciously: Take the money out. I said timidly: Money... Money just now... dine...... flower...... Finished spending. Shadow smiled and said, "I know you don't have any money, and if you have money, you can take a taxi." I had the courage to ask: Big brother, you don't rob me in the middle of the night, but scare me, why? Big Brother: Don't scare you, you're still hiccuping! After saying that, he turned his head and disappeared into the fifteen moonlight.

14, that year in the field to work, just half a month ago, the location is not familiar at all. Catching up with the hostess for her birthday, the boss called me to dinner at XX Restaurant. I stopped a taxi when I went out and asked how much it cost to get to XX Hotel? The driver answered twenty dollars. I was afraid that he would pit me, a foreigner, so he said, don't think I don't know the road, at most ten yuan, can't go? So, the driver said forget it, eat some losses and pull you a trip! I happily got into the car. As a result, the car drove forward two hundred meters, and a turn arrived...