1, I: "Lady boss, come to the bottle of 82 years of red wine!" Hostess: "No. Me: "Let's get a bottle of 82 years old Coke!" Hostess: "No. Me: "Then you have it here."

1, I: "Lady boss, come to the bottle of 82 years of red wine!" Hostess: "No. Me: "Let's get a bottle of 82 years old Coke!" Hostess: "No. Me: "So what do you have here for 82 years?" Hostess: "Well, I'm the boss lady of '82, do you want it?" Then, I saw the boss's face at the counter instantly go black!

2. Soon after the sister-in-law and her brother-in-law got married, the brother-in-law got on an ocean-going fishing boat, and the wife was afraid that he would be lonely and shouted that my family would come to live. On this day, the brother-in-law returned, dragged the little aunt to the hotel, and ordered a bottle of 82-year-old Lafite, and both of them drank too much. The brother-in-law lay drunk in the arms of his little aunt. In his sleep, his brother-in-law dreamed that he was eating ice cream and desperately eating it, but he couldn't do anything!! In a hurry, he took a hard bite and was awakened by a scream. When I woke up, it turned out that my brother-in-law had bitten my aunt's neck!!

3. Soon after the sister-in-law and her brother-in-law got married, the brother-in-law got on an ocean-going fishing boat, and the wife was afraid that he would be lonely and called to live in my house. On this day, the brother-in-law returned, dragged the sister-in-law to the restaurant, and ordered a bottle of 82-year-old Lafite, and both of them drank too much. The brother-in-law lay drunk in the arms of his sister-in-law. In his sleep, the brother-in-law dreamed that he was eating ice cream and desperately eating it, but he couldn't do anything!! In a hurry, he took a hard bite and was awakened by a scream. When I woke up, it turned out that my brother-in-law had bitten my sister-in-law's neck!

4, a classmate went home for the New Year to buy a train ticket of 0:23 on the 16th, and then he went early on the 16th to spend a long night at the train station, and when the pointer walkway was 12 o'clock, he walked to the 17th

5, the school to enter and exit with the student card, the girl forgot to bring, a face of innocence to the security guard said: Uncle, I forgot this time, can I let me in? The security guard asked: What year did you have? Girl: I was in 2003. Security: I'm in 04.

6, I move bricks at the construction site every day, although I don't make much money, but it is very hard. The old man became increasingly dissatisfied with me, so he locked his eyes on his son and wanted him to have a big show. This afternoon, my 5-year-old son came home from school and shouted happily at his grandfather: Grandpa! I'm on TV! The old man shouted with both joy and excitement: Huh? Tell Grandpa what channel is on it? The son dragged the old man into the living room, and the 65-inch LCD TV slapped on the ground. Then, excitedly, he said to the old man: Grandpa, you see, I put the TV on the ground and stood up.

7. 8.9 billion inheritance. In order to get this money, I decisively attacked the female manager and successfully chased her. After we got married, our lives were very happy, and the female manager gave birth to a girl. Today, on my daughter's 6th birthday, my brother-in-law came to the house to celebrate her birthday and bought a bicycle for my daughter. The brother-in-law teased his daughter: "Baby, is your uncle handsome?" The daughter looked at her brother-in-law and whispered, "Hmm." I said curiously, "Well, what does it mean, to be clear, your uncle is not handsome or not." The daughter said coldly: "Try to be silent when you need to lie, and try not to hurt the other party when you have to lie." ”

8, the female leader's sewer pipe is broken, let her brother go to work to help her repair. After the repair, the female leader said to invite her brother to dinner, but the brother refused when he thought he had to go home. When cleaning up the toolbox, the 6-year-old daughter of the female leader secretly stuffed a small butterfly made of silk for her brother, and the brother smiled and put it in his pocket. When I got home, my brother was almost killed, and the butterfly was adorned on the woman's underwear, and her sister-in-law said she also had one.

9, a scammer called and said: Your son was kidnapped by me, immediately hand over 500,000, or I will kill him! The call was answered by a mother who was silent for a while and said: My son died when he was 17 years old, I know you are a liar, I am not old enough to listen to your voice, can you pretend to be my son I have a lot to say to him. The liar was silent, quietly listening to the mother... After more than an hour, the mother sobbed for a while and was about to hang up the phone, when she overheard a voice from the other end of the phone: "Mom, I know, I'm doing well here"...

10, the dark and windy night of the moon, suddenly awakened by a burst of anger on the 9th floor of my downstairs. He said, "Upstairs, do you have any public morality?" Do you know that my daughter-in-law will take the college entrance examination tomorrow? At this time, the senior girl on the 8th floor pulled open the window and loudly defended: "You... Game, game inside the daughter-in-law! Later, the father-in-law outside the game went upstairs to find the son-in-law in the game to practice martial arts.

11, niece: "Aunt, is the input method used in your mobile phone 9 keys or 26 keys?" "I seconds back to the 9 key, what's wrong?" Niece: Nothing, I'm just curious to ask, because I've heard people say that the 9 buttons are all because the fingers are fat, and I want to confirm with you!

12, the girlfriend hugged back an electronic scale, stepped on it and said in surprise: "Wow, I'm thin!" I looked at the numbers and said, "Maybe it's not accurate, you find something else to try." The girlfriend hugged a 5kg dumbbell and put it on the scale, and sure enough, it showed less than 5kg. My girlfriend was a little frustrated, and I comforted: "Maybe the name is accurate, the dumbbells Bought are not heavy enough!" "Girlfriend...

13, the girlfriend took back an electronic scale, stepped on it and said in surprise: "Wow, I'm thin!" I looked at the numbers and said, "Maybe the scales aren't accurate, but you find something else to try." The girlfriend put a 5kg dumbbell on the scale, sure enough to show less than 5kg, the girlfriend was a little frustrated, I comforted: "Maybe the scale is accurate, the dumbbell bought is not heavy enough!" ”

14, marrying a wife spent 120,000 dowry, there are a lot of them on our side, so I bring three charging treasures every time I go to her mother's house! Enter the house on the charge, full of unplugged home! I would like to ask friends, 20,000 mh charging treasure, how many times do I need to use the electricity bill to reach hundreds of thousands? Wait online!