The wife noticed that her husband had recently had some bad breath and took the time to accompany him to the hospital. The doctor stopped her outside the clinic, looked pale and lowered his voice, and said, "The examination shows that your husband, who was three days ago, has been."

The wife noticed that her husband had recently had some bad breath and took the time to accompany him to the hospital. The doctor stopped her outside the clinic, pale and lowered his voice, saying, "The examination shows that your husband died three days ago." The wife was stunned, turned her head to see her husband coming out of the examination room, naturally stepped forward to hold his hand, and said as usual, "The doctor said that you have been a little on fire recently, and I will give you soup later." Do you prefer winter melon ribs, or carrot corn? ”

2 The younger brother is too ugly to do the identification, the result is finished, everyone laughed overnight, it turned out that the father pulled the younger brother to the hospital to do the identification, the doctor saw the father with the younger brother to go after asking, are you planning to do paternity test? Dad said to the doctor of course! As a result, the doctor left his father speechless with one sentence, and the doctor said, "If there is no accident, it should be biological, and you two look like a mold!" ”

3 Drinking at home with a female colleague at night, she ended up drinking too much and slept directly at my house. After she fell asleep, I thought about it on the couch for a long time, and finally I couldn't help it, and walked back to the room to see her angelic face, the devil-like figure, and I gently took the fifty dollars from the pillow and thought: Be careful to make the Ten Thousand Years Ship, or put it in your pocket to be safe.

4 My husband and I have been married for more than three years, I am an acute child, and my husband is the opposite of me, a chronic child.

I came home from work today and cooked in the kitchen, pot of soup.

I still need to look at the soup for a while, so I will go to the shower first and let my husband watch.

Just a minute or two, my husband came to me: there is something I want to tell you, but you are afraid that you are in a hurry, don't say it, there will be no food at night, do you see me saying or not saying? I was in a hurry: something to say quickly.

Husband slowly: the soup in the kitchen overflowed.

5 Near graduation, I'm about to work separately from my girlfriend. Before leaving, my ex-girlfriend gave me a string of numbers and said: If you think of me, call this number. That number is very long, certainly not a mobile phone number, I think it may be a landline. I said: Your company's system is really strict, and if you want to find you, you must first dial the telephone number of the company's main desk and transfer it to you. The girlfriend said lightly: You misunderstood, this is my bank card number.

6 My cousin recently bought a water gun and always messed around, once I saw my uncle with a water gun into the living room, I don't know what to do, waiting for my aunt to come back and just enter the room and go out to find the feather duster.

Then asked me if I had seen my cousin, I said that I may have been late, after returning, my cousin still took the water gun and shot randomly, just entered the house, the aunt locked the door of the house, the cousin is still in bed can not move.

Later, the uncle and the aunt bought a big color TV together, and the uncle was very happy.

7 My sister-in-law wanted to open a nail salon and asked me to help her write a plan. I was busy for a day and a night, finished writing the next day, and then went straight out to run errands. When I came home at noon, I found that the table had been cleaned up, but the pile of manuscripts had disappeared. When I smelled a smell of smoke, I asked my sister-in-law, "What are you burning?" Sister-in-law: "Do you think I'm so stupid that I'll burn unused paper?" I burned waste paper that had been written. ”

8 Someone ordered two glasses of wine in a hotel and drank one after another. The waiter said, "Sir, good wine!" The man said, "No! One glass of wine represents me, and the other represents my very sick friend. The next day the man went to the hotel again, this time with only one drink. The waiter asked, "Your girlfriend... He's dead? He said, "No, I'm quit drinking." ”

9 The two sons were sent to Guangdong by the company boss on a business trip, the woman's first time to Guangdong, Guangdong friends are very warm to invite guests to the restaurant to order their own food, just say to the waiter: on the 6 of your best dishes. After 20 minutes, on the 6 pots of stew, the Guangdong friend extended his thumb and said that he really understood their Cantonese feelings. Poor wife, drank for 3 hours before drinking all 6 pots of stew. The next day, to the Guangdong friend's home to visit, Guangdong friends gave 4 pots of stewed soup and 2 bowls of rice, the wife looked at the soup straight dizzy, after returning who dared to invite her to drink soup, she was anxious with whom.

10 Xiaomei took over a new project and worked overtime with a male assistant in the company. At this time, Xiaomei's husband called back. The assistant asked eagerly, "Who made the call?" Xiaomei said, "My husband beat me." After the male assistant listened, he got up and immediately wanted to leave. Xiaomei hurriedly shouted, "Don't go, he said to fight the landlord with you in the café and come back later." ”

11 Recently, the feet are always itchy, and later found that it was infected with beriberi by her husband, and I checked it on the Internet and said that disinfection with salt water bubbles would be effective. So I poured a basin of hot water, sprinkled some salt into it, and put a few slices of ginger and star anise in my brain, and when I was ready to put the green onions, I reacted, this is not making soup... Can't waste it, so I put my foot in, at this time my husband was off work, and my husband came in to see this scene with a frightened look...

12 The two went on a blind date, and the woman was very good, asking the man how he came.

M: Take the bus. What about you? F: Electric cars. The man wanted to send her after eating, and the last 2 met in the parking lot.

The man looked at the female A6, and then looked at his own X5 and smiled! 

 #年度搞笑名场面 #