1. The female thief went to DaZhuang's house to steal, stole 300 yuan, and went away, and that night the female thief returned and woke up the sleeping Da Zhuang. Da Zhuang: "Who are you?" ''Female thief:' "I am a female thief."

1. The female thief went to DaZhuang's house to steal, stole 300 yuan, and went away, and that night the female thief returned and woke up the sleeping Da Zhuang. Da Zhuang: "Who are you?" Female thief: "I am a female thief, I stole 300 pieces from you, and now I give it back to Da Zhuang: "You have entered the wrong door, I have not thrown money!" "Female thief: You can't be a person with a conscience, my diamond ring was lost when I was stealing at home, you should return it to me quickly, otherwise I will call the police!" The female thief went to DaZhuang's house to steal, stole 300 yuan, and left, and that night the female thief returned and woke up the sleeping Da Zhuang. Da Zhuang: "Who are you?" Female thief: "I am a female thief, I stole 300 pieces from you, and now I give it back to Da Zhuang: "You have entered the wrong door, I have not thrown money!" "Female thief: You can't be a person with a conscience, my diamond ring was lost when I was stealing at home, you should return it to me quickly, otherwise I will call the police!"

2 The day before yesterday with the female boss to accompany the customer, we both drank a lot of wine. After I sobered up in the middle of the night, I found that I was living in a room with the landlady, it was very uncomfortable to drink too much, I didn't think too much, my throat was very dry, I poured a cup of hot water, thought about it cold, and then fell asleep. After a while I woke up to drink water, found that the water was gone, poured a glass of water, woke up and found that it was gone, I still feel a little strange? It's really hard to get a glass of water! The next day, the landlady looked at me with a wrong look and gave me a salary increase.

3 After working, I realized that it is really not easy to earn money, and after making a girlfriend, I was very upset. Later, my girlfriend said to me: "You give me this monthly salary, and I guarantee that your appearance will rise by a large margin." "What did I spend when I gave you all the money?" Daughter-in-law: "I raised you, so that you will become a little white face!" My head shook like a fan and ended up being hammered by my girlfriend!

4 At two o'clock in the morning, there was a flight attendant hiding in a corner and was about to be scared to cry. The man became bold and pretended to be calm and said, "With me here, don't be afraid!" After the flight attendant heard this, she immediately burst into tears. The man looked at her quietly like this, and after a while, the flight attendant slowly stood up, wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand, and said to the man: "If you don't go out of the women's toilet, I will shout!" ”

5 The father-in-law's old family was demolished and compensated 120 million, and after getting the money, he immediately divorced his mother-in-law for 0.6 billion, and then married a 26-year-old flight attendant, and gave birth to a little boy a few months later. After dinner that night, my father-in-law was ready to take my 4-year-old uncle to the park to play. Before going out, he began to look around for newly purchased building block puzzles, shouting that he had to take them out. The father-in-law asked incredulously, "Why bring toys?" Then the little uncle said dismissively: "Without toys, which girl is willing to play with me?" ”

6 When Fu Er Dai first played the game, he met a big brother and operated the thief show. In order to let him bring fu er dai, fu er dai pretended to be a girl. Since then they have been sweet double rows, slowly rising from gold to platinum. Then to the diamond, the cooperation is more and more tacit understanding, and then after knowing each other for a long time, he said to open the voice to play. The second generation of the rich want to open it, and if you want to be embarrassed, you are embarrassed. Before fu er dai could speak, he heard a soft and sweet voice coming from the other side: I'm sorry, but I'm actually a girl! Fu Er Dai was cold at that time.

7 The father-in-law's Alipay huabei quota was owed 1.2 million, and he was unable to repay it and was ready to become a monk. That day, the father-in-law lay in bed tossing and turning and falling asleep. He ran to the abbot's room and asked the abbot, "Big!! Master, how many people on this sleepless night can't sleep like me? Abbot: "This is very simple, you just need to send a red envelope to the group to understand." ”

8 I opened a flower shop, and the content posted in the circle of friends was all my own flowers. But the florist has been open for half a year, and the business has not been very good, and I am in a hurry. On this day, a friend fell out of love, and he sent a circle of friends: I don't want to live without you! Many of the comments below are to persuade him not to do stupid things, life is precious and so on. Only I said one thing: buy a bouquet of flowers, buy a bouquet of flowers and I will be your girlfriend! Then the two of us were together, and now the kids are three years old!

9 The little monk broke up with his girlfriend again, and changed more than a dozen times in half a year. On this day the abbot asked him, "What kind of girlfriend do you really want to find?" The little monk spat out a cigarette and said with a sad face, "I just want to pursue a kind of ordinary love, do you know what kind of love is?" Abbot: "Love without material is a mess!" ”

10 The old man told me from the perspective of a person who came over that ligation surgery can prolong my life, so I went to the hospital for surgery. I met an old classmate I hadn't seen for ten years at the hospital, and I saw her holding a woman's hand, and the woman was still holding a child in her arms. I immediately stepped forward to say hello: Yo, when did you get married, the children are so old, they really look like you! I noticed that their faces had suddenly changed, particularly panicked, and the old classmates laughed a few times and left their phone numbers. I said, "Then you should go, I have something to do." Old classmate: Okay, let's call. I had just turned around and walked a few steps when I suddenly heard the woman say, "Brother-in-law, what should I do now?"

11 The hostess and I went on a business trip for a week and got pregnant when we came back. The boss suspected that it was me and fired me in a fit of rage. I went to work in an electronics factory, and the canteen food in the factory was difficult to eat. Colleagues didn't want to eat in the cafeteria anymore, so they agreed to bring a few dishes for each person. After eating for a few days, I found that it was still someone else's dish that had a fresh feeling. But after a few days they wouldn't let me participate, forking the fact that I was a single dog and couldn't cook. Besides, how come the bagged squeezed vegetables bought in the supermarket are not dishes? 

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