Speak with your heart, listen with your heart, feel with your heart! I am Lan Jun, I am here waiting for you!
People are creatures of group life, and in environments where they cannot survive as individuals, it seems that everyone is accustomed to pointing fingers at the lives of others.
But the difference is that some people will silently bury their views on other people's lives in their hearts, and will express their opinions if necessary, otherwise they will only rot in their stomachs.
Because they know that everyone is an independent individual, has their own way of life, you can't be someone else, others can't be you, your life can't be copied by others, other people's lives can't be suitable for you, and finding meaning and creating value in your own life is the most beautiful thing.
Some people do not know how to control the distance between themselves and others, and habitually point out the lives of others, especially between relatives and friends.
Because of their already intimate relationship, they begin to be unscrupulous, but when you are old, you will find the importance of keeping your distance from your brothers and sisters.
Grandma Zhang has a total of 5 sisters, after the death of her parents, their 5 sisters have become each other's dependence, after the eldest sister left due to illness the year before, the second grandma Zhang became the largest in the family.
In the past, if everyone had any unhappy things, they would tell the eldest sister that now that the eldest sister was gone, they had to come to Grandma Zhang to talk.
In fact, the life of the third sister and the fourth sister is not bad, usually it is also some trivial things, but the family relationship of the fifth sister is more tense.
The fifth sister has two children, a son and a daughter, she has always been biased towards her son, do not pay attention to women, originally she thought that she would have a son to give her a pension in the future, but did not expect that after the son got married, all listened to the daughter-in-law, completely ignored her, so the two sides often quarreled.
On this day, the fifth sister quarreled with her daughter-in-law again, so angry that she was in tears, and Grandma Zhang was angry when she saw her sister so sad, and immediately decided to help her out.
Then she came to the fifth sister's house, involuntarily scolded her niece and daughter-in-law with a bloody dog, and then returned home as if she had won a battle.
Unexpectedly, the fifth sister called her that night to settle the account, and it turned out that after Grandma Zhang went, the niece and daughter-in-law felt that she was bullied, ran back to her mother's house, called her mother's family, beat her husband up, and divorced her.
Although the fifth sister has always been dissatisfied with her daughter-in-law, she has not reached the point where she wants to divorce the two, and her son has been beaten, which can make her heartbroken.
The problem was not solved, but it was more serious, which made the fifth sister angry, so she called Grandma Zhang to settle the account, and Grandma Zhang was also angry.
Obviously, it was her sister herself who came to cry with her a handful of snot and a handful of tears, but now she blamed her for being nosy, and after learning about this, Grandma Zhang's daughter also came back to count her down.
Although those are Grandma Zhang's blood relatives, it is difficult for the Qing officials to break the family affairs, and Grandma Zhang should not interfere at will, so as not to cause unnecessary trouble for herself.
Grandma Zhang did not expect that in the end, she had become a thousand husbands, although she felt wronged in her heart, but since then she has never interfered in her sisters' family affairs and kept a certain distance from everyone.
In fact, many people have such problems, and they will also face such problems, because of blood relations, everyone always sees brothers and sisters being bullied.
Once they come back to cry to themselves, they will be momentarily confused and irrational, full of thoughts to help them out of anger and find justice.
But you know, there is no right or wrong in many things, especially housework, after all, broken bones and tendons, although they may have been wronged at home, a moment of anger, but not necessarily as tragic as everyone imagines.
Maybe after a moment's emotions have passed, it will be fine, and their talk is not really to help everyone "avenge", it is just a need for an object of talk, and someone can understand their grievances.
What we need to do is to keep a distance from our brothers and sisters as much as possible, and not to get too involved in each other's family affairs, so as not to further complicate the problem.
Of course, this does not mean that the family affection becomes indifferent, but it is precisely because of the deep love for each other that they will think about each other everywhere, avoid their own interference, and will bring unpredictable consequences to their lives, so they must keep a distance.
A person's greatest malice is to impose one's own understanding on others, to take all the results for granted and to explain them in their own process, and to always think that they are right.
Such "malice" is often staged around us, and many people are still unaware, when dealing with many problems, we are good at using our own understanding to solve, but we will not really consider the problem from the perspective of others.
Maybe you don't know how to control the "malice" that no longer appears, but you just have to remember that there are many things we have heard, and many problems are not something we can solve, but what you can do is to stand behind your family and give them the greatest support.
Let them know that no matter what decision they make at any time, you will be their strongest backing, and that's enough.