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In life, women marry different people and tend to live different lives. So many people say that who a woman marries, life is really different.
This is not an exaggeration, but anyone who has ever been married will understand that from a certain point of view, what kind of person and what kind of family you marry, what kind of life you will live.
The attitude of men and in-laws towards you will directly affect the quality of your marriage.
Careful observation will find that although some women are not strong enough, they may not be able to earn much money, but they can still make the in-laws look up to, and the in-laws will not only not bully her, but will sincerely worship her.
In fact, this is related to her super high emotional intelligence and ability to manage marriage and family.
In general, some women are looked up to by their in-laws, and some women are often bullied, and the difference between them is only two. Only by making corrections with heart, knowing how to love yourself, and thinking for yourself can you slowly reverse the situation.
One: the difference in personality, love is too humble, there is no tenacity in the bones, and it will be looked down upon because it is too weak
Some women are too weak, even if others hurt themselves, against their own will and the principles of being a person, they always dare to be angry and dare not speak, but constantly compromise. So that in the end, no one is afraid of themselves anymore and respects themselves.
Su Ting is a girl who loves humbly, she has no independent thinking ability, and she has been well protected by her parents since she was a child. When she gets along with people, she does not have any intentions, and she is very simple.
Su Ting is very beautiful and has a lot of suitors when she went to college, but Su Ting is a very traditional girl, and she does not want to start a relationship casually before she is sure that they can get married.
After graduation, her parents hoped that she could get married soon, so they introduced her to the object.
Her parents are very fond of one of the blind dates, and the other party just happens to like Su Ting, and the two are married after three months of dating.
However, her husband's personality is not so gentle, and less than a year after marriage, he has exposed his true face. Su Ting is a timid girl who hopes that others can treat her gently and kindly.
But her husband couldn't control his emotions and was always yelling at her. The mother-in-law is particularly selfish, and after they got married, the mother-in-law even let Su Ting pay her own salary.
In the face of her mother-in-law's deliberate difficulties, Su Ting did not dare to resist and could only bear it. If she did not agree to her mother-in-law's request, her husband would always threaten her with divorce.
In order to save the marriage, Su Ting can only compromise again and again, but her concessions have not improved the relationship between husband and wife, but have made herself more miserable in the marriage.
Su Ting has a college roommate, she comes from the countryside, the economic conditions are not good, but her marriage is very happy. When the mother-in-law does something that makes her feel uncomfortable, the housemate will be directly angry and will never tolerate the malicious bullying of the mother-in-law's family for love.
When Su Ting told her about the pain in her heart, her roommates also encouraged her many times to not be patient anymore, but she just couldn't do it.
After marriage, women who will not overly tolerate the bullying of their in-laws' families in order to get the love of men are often more likely to have a good life, otherwise your married life will only get more and more bitter.
The difference between Su Ting and her roommate is actually the difference in personality, the former is too weak, the latter is extremely strong, so that they have two completely different attitudes when dealing with people, and naturally there will be two different lives.
Second: the difference between whether the spirit and the economy are independent, if everything depends on others, there is no opinion, only passive compromise in everything
I have always written about spiritual independence and economic independence separately, because I think that the two are two completely different things.
Some women are very rich, but they can't think independently, so they look ahead and look backward in their life choices, can't make up their minds, make decisions hard, and will soon regret it.
This type of woman is indecisive and has no opinion, and even if she has money, it is difficult to dominate her life.
The most typical example is the heroine Matsuko in the movie "The Life of the Rejected Pine Nut", she lacked love from childhood, and when she grew up, she was extremely eager for love, but if someone was kind to her, she would easily fall.
She was financially independent and had a lot of money in her hands, but despite this, she was still a man.2
Even if the man betrays her, domestically abuses her, and constantly oppresses and insults her, she still does not dare to break up, does not want to break up, but thinks that as long as she pays enough, she can always impress him.
This is the typical flattering personality, the typical spiritual independence.
Women have no opinion, can't live out of themselves, and it is useless to have more money, so the key to the question is not whether you have the ability to support yourself, but whether you have the ability to live yourself.
You know, spiritual independence is as important as economic independence, even more important than economic independence.
Combining the above two points, the gap between women is mainly a matter of personality and independence.
If you are too strong and tenacious, and always maintain the dual independence of economy and spirit, then no matter who you marry, no matter what kind of family the other party has, you can run your own life, rather than looking at the face of others in everything, you can only be passive.
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