Recently, I received a private message from a mother asking for help:
"Help! My father and I are usually very busy at work. Afraid that something would happen to the child at home alone, he installed a camera at home.
The child does not know that this camera exists. Usually come back from school to play with iPads, watch TV, think we don't know, but these are very normal children's playful behavior, me and the child's father do not care. ”
"But I turned on the camera this afternoon, and I never expected to see this scene!"
Early love in the eyes of parents may not be really early love.
However, some parents emphasize their parental authority and have to press their heads to let their children admit that they are in love early, which may backfire and lead to tragedy.
At 3:00 a.m. on November 7, 2020, 17-year-old high school girl Xinxin sent a circle of friends:
"I didn't have an early love, I was a little unhappy, that's it."
At 4 a.m., she came to the river and stepped into the icy water.
The next day, the family found a suicide note in her room and immediately called the police, but unfortunately it was too late.
In her suicide note, we can glimpse her love and nostalgia for the world, as well as misunderstood helplessness and begging—
"Goodbye, this lovely world.
I didn't have an early love and didn't cheat, so please don't doubt me for no reason.
I never wanted to hurt people, but why have I always been unhappy? ”
In the field of knowledge about the education of adolescents, there is a question:
"Worried about the early love of my 14-year-old daughter, should I look at her phone?"
GaoZan replied:
That being the case, is there any example of successful parenting education for early love?
Yes. A mom on the Internet does a good job, and when she finds the "love letter" in the child's desk, she doesn't secretly open it. Instead, after calming down, write what you want to say in a letter, and put it on your child's desk as well.
The letter contains three things:
One, congratulations to the child growing up, glad that my child has someone to like.
Second, tell children that when writing love letters to each other, it is a happy and happy stage of love budding, but the road ahead is also full of dangers and uncertainties.
Third, explain to the child what love is, explain the relationship between love and marriage.
The mother neither expressed the emotion of "not allowing you to fall in love" nor angrily tore the love letter to shreds, leaving the choice to the child herself.
When your child is really in love, you can tell him these four sentences —
First, love is everyone's right, and you deserve to be cherished;
Second, respect your own feelings, but also respect the feelings of others;
Third, keep thinking and clearly know what you should do and what you shouldn't do;
Fourth, do not hurt others, but also protect yourself, we will always be your most solid backing.
Love is a beautiful thing, and ignorant feelings are the testimony of green time.
Dear parents, use the right communication and the right guidance to help them successfully pass through puberty.