*Title Source: Question 2 of this issue
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Question 1
Keywords: polygamous
I found that my boyfriend was getting stranger and stranger every time he was with him, the phone would be muted, never wanted to check his phone, but every time he was with me, the phone was muted, either the phone screen was put in reverse, or the phone was put under the pillow, every time I listened to him talk, I felt very hypocritical, and it was better to speak than to sing
Not long together, I also know that his password does not know when to start, he changed the mobile phone password, and found that there are girls in his car, I will ask him who he is, she said that he is his colleague, shoes and clothes, perfume umbrella I have seen, I don't know if I think too much.
Anyway, I feel very unsteady, I have seen his mobile phone and other girls chat ambiguously, I asked him who he was, he said it was his sister. What should I do? Three years of feelings, don't want to break up.
answer
Obviously, your boyfriend's polygamy has long been smoked and smoked, and basically will not change.
The problem is that you know this, not only do you not want to break up, but you don't dare to care, and you don't even dare to lose your temper. His excuses for prevaricating you are full of loopholes, and you don't dare to ask questions, but you actually go to reflect on whether you think too much.
The height of your relationship is so disparity, what can be done to improve it?
Although you don't want to break up, but out of kindness or to persuade you, now you are still before marriage, he dares to be so arrogant, if you refuse to break up, after marriage will encounter more things that make you feel humiliated, it is recommended to consider well.
Question 2
(Source of the title of this issue)
Keyword: lying
Hello dear baby sister, please be anonymous
I am 27,160,44kg, and the monthly salary of state-owned enterprises is 4000.
Husband of the same age, 190, 190kg, the monthly salary of the insurance industry is 1-2w, and it has just been found out that there is a chronic disease and needs long-term treatment.
My family is slightly better than my husband, with the third-tier small cities, my husband and I have been married for three years, there is a one-year-old female treasure, the mother-in-law's monthly subsidy of 5,000, in-laws help to take care of the baby, take good care of it.
The relationship between my husband and my parents is very poor, but my relationship with my in-laws is harmonious, my husband and I have a good relationship, my husband's salary is handed in, holidays have a sense of ceremony, and my baby's material requirements are all satisfied.
But he has a bad habit of lying, and he is always deceived by me to go to work when I find lying and going out to play (it can definitely be playing mahjong, surfing the Internet, etc., without crossing the line).
After being discovered, I said that I was worried about telling me that I would not let him go out to play, afraid that I would talk about him more. I had already made it clear when I quarreled before that my bottom line was not to deceive people, and I could accept any kind of truth, but he still lied.
Because this kind of thing has been argued many times, it is really tired and emotionally draining, and now my appeal is can our marriage continue?
After being found out again and again that I have lied to me and not correcting it, how will the marriage continue in the future? I have filed for divorce this time, what should I do if I don't get a divorce? I also accept if divorced.
Thank you Doll Sister and Little Fairy Assistants.
The so-called bottom line should be the minimum limit, since it is the "minimum", there can only be one. You can't be the bottom line everywhere, and ask the other party to do everything you want.
So, since you say your bottom line is "can't lie to people", then his "hanging out" can't be your bottom line. You have to re-affirm this with him and tell him that you will no longer interfere with his hanging out in the future, but you must have the right to know, and he cannot lie and lie to you.
If you can do that, respect his reasonable hobbies, and the PU gradually comes down, giving him love and freedom, then he will slowly make changes as well. He may also habitually lie in the beginning, occasionally saying the truth to test your attitude, and if you can encourage him to tell the truth in the process, don't blame him for hanging out. He will gradually believe that you really will not interfere with his hobbies anymore, and slowly stop lying, no longer step on your bottom line, and the couple can also re-establish a sense of trust.
Don't be like before, as long as he goes out to play, you ask him for emotional value, noisy and noisy. He can't quit his hobby and can only lie and lie to you all the time. Instead of being limited everywhere and getting a husband who lies, it is better to loosen the strings and let him have some space for himself, and both husband and wife are happy.
In addition, if you ask him not to lie at all, it is actually a very high moral requirement, and few people can do it. If he occasionally tells a little innocuous lie, turn a blind eye. Besides, if he really wants to lie, you may not be able to catch the evidence, and you can't always let him say "Chinese don't cheat Chinese" every time, right?
In fact, apart from lying and hanging out, your husband is doing a good job in other aspects, parenting investment and emotional concentration are sufficient, and in-laws are also very good. If you divorce because of this little flaw, you are likely to regret it in the future, and your children are likely to blame you when they grow up. The advice is to be sensible and manage the marriage well.
Question 3
Keywords: Shanghai drift
Thanks to the smart and beautiful doll sister for providing this platform, thank you to the little assistant for tirelessly screening many answers. Watching the answers of the doll sister every day benefits me a lot, learning something new every day, and being amazed by the doll's insight and language expression from time to time.
From childhood to adulthood, he has been disgusted by his parents for his ability to compete and has been asked by his parents to return to his hometown.
issue:
If you convince your parents, let them no longer ask them to go back to their hometown.
own conditions
In 1998, the female Hupiao 160cm58kgMV was moderately low, a brother went to primary school full-time junior college, self-examination undergraduate, administrative front post 5.3k company wrapped, fifth-tier cities open advertising shops, annual income of 10W.
After graduating in 19 years, five months before graduation, I didn't know what job I should look for, and my parents didn't say anything
I hastily found a job as a wholesale tally clerk, taking two days off a month and earning 2K per month. When I went to get my diploma, my classmate told me that her company took four days off 2.5K a month, and I was moved, and I went to work in the city where the university was located despite my parents' objections.
At the end of March this year, the cross-provincial became Shanghai, and parents frantically questioned their income, feeling that they could not support themselves, could not save money, and should return to the fifth-tier cities. My parents didn't help me with some work resources at home, they tended to marry me, and they arranged a blind date for me in my sophomore year.
My parents advised me to go home and say the same thing:
You're too far away from us, and you know our family can't help you find any job.
During the work, I frantically played video questions to ask me to go home and quit my job, with a strong attitude and crying. I was sad and miserable at work. I received my mother's WeChat red envelope on my first birthday in three years away from home
How to say, if I told you that I thought the same as your parents, would you be very sad?
You may have asked questions to get me to support you not to go back to your hometown, but when I read your description of your own situation, my first reaction was that your parents were right, and you really should follow their advice and go back early.
Although you are currently in Shanghai, the salary you get for the position is not a lot for the newly graduated, but this is not by your academic qualifications and ability, but because of your youth.
The following words may be very heartfelt, as a girl with mediocre mate selection rights, ordinary education, not very strong competitive ability, and wandering in all aspects of the middle line, if you can't greatly improve your ability in all aspects, keep up with the pace of work and mate selection in big cities, the final result is likely to be that after many years, you are no longer young, career and marriage are not settled, and youth sacrifices are given to big cities, but there is no house, car tickets and husbands.
The reason why your parents are so "crazy" to let you go back to your hometown is actually because you are afraid that one day this result will really happen, and in the end, they will have to pay for your life.
Therefore, for you, the better choice is indeed to go home and find a simple and stable job, eat young dividends, enter marriage earlier, and at least live as a family unit in the future, and give yourself a guarantee for your life. Your parents' life planning for you is undoubtedly more secure, but you are a little too optimistic about estimating Hupiao's life.
Living in a first-tier city like Beijing and Shanghai is more than ten times more stressful than in a fifth-tier smaller city. If you want to stay in a first-tier city, you must first have a strong ability to resist pressure, and now you can't even bear the pressure of your parents urging you to go home, and it is really difficult to stay in a first-tier city.
If you are not willing to go home, you can consider fighting for another year, to see if you can make some qualitative leaps in your career in this year, or if you can meet a boy who is worth trusting for life. If neither is achieved, take it home completely.
Old powder advanced
Question 4
Keywords: marriage crisis
Hope the beautiful baby sister helps me, thank you very much!
I'm 83 years old, 150, 85 pounds.
Husband 85 years, 170, 140 pounds.
Both are in small county public institutions and have two sons.
Usually, my husband has a lot of family affection and investment, and he is also very good to my parents, and my friends are envious. I thought I had met the Stone Man. This year is our tenth year of marriage, and what was supposed to be a happy marriage suddenly has a sunny day.
My husband was out of town a few months ago, and I had an argument with my mother-in-law, and I couldn't help but pull up with her when she scolded her.
I knew that it was not right for me to do it first anyway, and my husband knew about it and said that he was separated, and I agreed. After weChat reconciliation, but said that there is a hurdle in the heart, in July our family of four went to travel. My husband's hobbies are fishing and drinking with his comrades.
Several comrades-in-arms and their families know each other, and they used to take their wives with them for dinner, so they are quite relieved. After giving birth to the second eldest, I didn't like to follow, after all, there were two children in the family to manage.
The day before yesterday, the wife of the comrade-in-arms sent me a screenshot of the payment and transfer record of the little J who was looking for a drink companion, and there was no transfer record of my husband. The husband said he didn't look for it, just looked. Last night I flipped over the car recorder to hear my husband and comrades-in-arms say that he used another WeChat transfer account, I have no strength at all, usually I think that the husband who confesses everything is like this, and also said that the comrades-in-arms are not firm, saying that they know how to delete it after playing.
I was going to rent a house, my husband said I didn't have to go out, he went out to live, he wanted his parents to move out as well. I don't know if he is because I broke the pu last time he went out to find a remedy, please ask the baby sister what should I do now, divorce or not are accepted.