Marriage is not a simple addition of men and women, but a real connection of feelings.
When a couple enters the palace of marriage hand in hand and becomes a couple, the two of them are combined into a whole to some extent, with both the obligation to care for each other and the responsibility of being loyal to each other.
Regarding marriage, the British writer Shakespeare once said in the book Hamlet:
There are two kinds of love that are tantamount to a traitor in one's own chest.
The enlightenment brought to us by this sentence is that loyalty is the basis of the stability of the marriage relationship, and only by being faithful to the marriage partner can we make the other party feel love and belonging, and make the other party willing to pay for the family without reservation.
But in real life, some people do not understand this truth, they treat marriage with a rash attitude, look down on their partners, even if they make the mistake of betraying the marriage, they still blame their partners for their mistakes.
As everyone knows, in the marriage relationship, once there is no love and loyalty between husband and wife, their families will become fragmented, and those who choose to betray the marriage will only destroy their own happiness with their own hands.
The 49-year-old man spent 20 years in prison, but his wife gave birth to a son for him
The 49-year-old Ah Cai (pseudonym), a native of Jian'ou, Nanping City, married Ah Yan (pseudonym) 20 years ago and went to his wife's mother's house in Licheng District, Putian City, where he became a door-to-door son-in-law.
In the 20 years of married life, Ah Cai not only assisted his wife in business, but also ran the family more and more prosperous, but also gave birth to 3 daughters with his wife, in the eyes of outsiders, their marriage is happy and happy, and they are an enviable couple.
But an incident that happened two years ago opened the prelude to the contradictions in their marriage. Two years ago, Ah Yan gave birth to another son. It is reasonable to say that the birth of a son should make Ah Cai feel happy, but Ah Cai is depressed and depressed all the time, and even refuses to take on the responsibility of raising his son.
It turned out that Ah Cai was a door-to-door son-in-law, and after giving birth to 3 daughters with his wife Ah Yan, he was sterilized and lost the ability to have children, and his wife suddenly became pregnant and gave birth to a child, there is only one possibility, that is, Ah Yan made the mistake of betraying the marriage and gave birth to a child for him.
At that time, after learning that his wife was pregnant, Ah Cai had advised his wife not to have this child, and he felt that the existence of this child would definitely affect the marital feelings between the two.
But Ah Yan not only did not listen to Ah Cai's words, but also advised Ah Cai to admit this child, she said to Ah Cai, our two husbands and wives are doing business outside, as long as you admit this child, no one in the village will know that the child is not your own child, if you do not admit it, let you get out of the house and get out of this family without anything.
Hearing his wife's words, Ah Cai felt humiliated and angry, and he said to Ah Yan: How can I accept this problem as a man, if it is not that I was born, I was not born to me, I still have to bear the child around, and then raise him, how is it possible?
Ah Cai was angry, so he left home alone to go to Quanzhou to work, but what he did not expect was that two years later, he suddenly received a summons, and his wife Ah Yan actually sued him to dissolve the marriage relationship with him.
After 20 years as a door-to-door son-in-law in Ah Yan's family, Ah Cai was not willing to leave the house, he did not agree to divorce, and the court also rejected Ah Yan's divorce request.
Ah Cai said that he has been in the family for many years, has been helping his wife and father-in-law to run the family business, but he does not have the right to manage the family's money, he is now nearly half a hundred years old, working outside the month only 3,000 yuan salary, if at this time out of the house, he is worried that he will be old and helpless, the quality of life in his old age can not be guaranteed.
Knowing that his wife's family was about to move, He could agree to his wife's divorce request, but asked his wife's family to give him a house, even if only to give him the right to live in the house, so that he could rely on him in old age.
So, will the Ah Yan family agree to Ah Cai's request?
"Everyone makes mistakes" The wife has children out of wedlock, and blames the husband: you are not considerate enough
After many communications, Ah Yan was finally willing to meet with Ah Cai and negotiate with him a solution to the contradictions in their marriage.
When Ah Yan saw Ah Cai, she looked very disgusted, she said, what else to reconcile, I see him now is disgusting.
For his betrayal of marriage, Ah Yan also frankly admitted that it was a one-night stand, which was nothing, I and Ah Cai have not been together for 8 years, once I was in a bad mood, and I drank a little wine with my friends, and this happened.
Ah Yan also said that what is there, people will make mistakes, I take responsibility for my own wrong things, I did not throw away the child or how, to say ugly, I do not mean to live with people every day.
Ah Yan blamed her mistake on Ah Cai, and she believed that if Ah Cai could take more care and care of her, she might not have made such a mistake.
Ah Yan recalled that about four or five years ago, she and Ah Cai went to Yunnan to do business, and although the two were in Yunnan, they were in two different places.
One day, Ah Yan encountered a thief in the shop, she was very scared, so she called Ah Cai to come back, and it turned out that Ah Cai did not return after a day or two. But when Ah Yan asked Ah Cai to help look after the store, she went to investigate the market environment by herself, Ah Cai also behaved very negatively, which made Ah Yan feel that Ah Cai was lazy and unwilling to run a business with her.
Recalling the scene when she was pregnant, Ah Yan was also full of grievances, and she bluntly said that when she was pregnant, she did not get a little consideration and concern from Ah Cai.
Ah Yan said bluntly that it is precisely because she cannot see Ah Cai's progress in her career and does not feel Ah Cai's concern in life, she will make the mistake of betraying her marriage in addition to being sad and disappointed.
In this regard, Ah Cai said that Ah Yan is very assertive in business, rarely consults with himself, and he has no right to manage Ah Yan himself.
It turned out that Ah Yan's ancestors were all in the sauerkraut business, and they needed to take care of the stalls every day, delivering goods to people, and the stalls were inseparable from people, so when Ah Yan gave birth to a daughter, Ah Cai did not accompany his wife because he had to take care of the business.
At this time, the marriage contradiction between Ah Cai and Ah Yan has reached an irreconcilable point, in the face of Ah Cai's request to agree to divorce but wants a house, Ah Yan responded: The houses are in my parents' name, I have no right to give, and since she gave birth to her son, Ah Cai has not given 3 daughters living expenses, which makes it difficult for her to accept.
Ah Cai said that he has paid for the family for many years, and the money he earns has been kept by his father-in-law, and his daughter's living expenses are also there.
Later, after mediation, Ah Cai agreed to give his three daughters a total of 1500 yuan a month for living expenses until the younger daughter turned 18 years old.
Ah Yan's father also made concessions, he agreed to give Ah Cai a house, but to write the names of Ah Cai and his eldest daughter, Ah Cai only has the right to live, but not the right to buy and sell.
At this point, the marriage relationship between Ah Cai and Ah Yan was smoothly dissolved, and their marriage story was also over.
Sentiment Analysis:
Regarding marriage, the Russian writer Sukhomlinsky once said in his book Reflections on Love:
Emotional indifference and alienation can cause husbands or wives to deliberately find new love.
This passage tells us that in the marriage relationship, only by caring for each other can the husband and wife enhance the cohesion of mutual love, so that both of them know how to cherish marriage.
In the marriage story between Ah Yan and Ah Cai, perhaps it is precisely because Ah Cai did not let Ah Yan feel concerned that the latter made the mistake of having children outside of marriage, and the act of betraying the marriage, even if it is explained by more reasons, is not worthy of forgiveness.
In the married life, both husband and wife have the responsibility and obligation to be loyal to each other, loyalty is also the basis of the stability of the marriage relationship, it may be precisely because of Ah Yan's betrayal of the marriage behavior, so that Ah Cai feels pain and shame, and finally makes the two people's originally happy marriage relationship become fragmented in an instant.
From the marriage story of Ah Cai and Ah Yan, we can get at least the following three points of enlightenment:
First, in the marriage relationship, the husband and wife should be in step with each other.
Marriage is a couple forming a whole, only if the two can be in unison and walk side by side, they can go to the end of marriage happiness together.
In 20 years of married life, Ah Cai and Ah Yan have paid for each other, but the efforts of the two of them have not been affirmed and recognized by each other, Ah Cai feels that Ah Yan does not pay enough attention to himself, and Ah Yan thinks that Ah Cai does not care enough about himself.
In my opinion, the reason why the marriage between Ah Cai and Ah Yan ended in failure is because the two people's contributions to each other are not what the other wants, and the pace of the two people in their married life is not consistent, resulting in the fact that both of them cannot feel happiness in marriage.
Second, in a good marriage, husband and wife should know how to be grateful to each other.
In 20 years of rich life, Ah Cai helped his wife's family to run a business, even if there is no merit, but there must be hard work, but his efforts have not been recognized and appreciated by Ah Yan.
Ah Yan gave birth to 3 daughters for Ah Cai, giving Ah Cai a happy and complete family, but Ah Cai believes that he is not valued in his married life, perhaps because of this, he does not know how to appreciate his wife.
In a good marriage relationship, husband and wife should know how to be grateful to each other, and when the other party pays for you, there is more satisfaction and more happiness, in order to know how to cherish marriage.
Third, only those who are faithful to marriage can be cherished by their partners.
In the marriage relationship, only those who know how to be faithful to marriage can be cherished by their partners.
Ah Cai has been a door-to-door son-in-law for 20 years, and when he found out that his wife had a child outside of marriage, he chose to go out to work in addition to his sadness and pain, and he no longer contacted his wife and daughter.
Perhaps it was precisely because of the hurt caused to him by his wife's betrayal of marriage that he refused to leave. If Ah Yan knows how to cherish marriage, perhaps Ah Cai hui knows how to cherish her even more, and is willing to do his best to raise 3 daughters with his wife to grow up.
Only those who have a sense of responsibility for marriage and are loyal to their partners can harvest a happy marriage.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)