You Snake Wen | Purple Leaf Girl
Regarding marriage, how to get along between husband and wife, I know that the previous author expressed his own views:
"Husband and wife love each other and are loyal to each other, which is the most basic requirement, of course, it must be done first, but the quality of marriage is more reflected in the details of life." It is not difficult to solve the details, the key is not to turn a blind eye, let alone see and ignore. ”
It is easy to fall in love, but it is difficult to get along with each other is the norm of marriage, after all, a romantic marriage will eventually return to plainness; therefore, in a bland married life, if you want to be happy for a long time, under the premise of mutual loyalty, you also need both husband and wife to care for each other, rather than just trying to be comfortable.
01 The wife did something ridiculous and let the husband who had been in the house for 20 years "carry the pot"
Ah Cai (pseudonym) is 49 years old this year, married to his wife Ah Yan (pseudonym) for 20 years, the two have given birth to 3 daughters together, speaking of their marriage, Ah Cai is very aggrieved, because he is a door-to-door son-in-law, not only did not get the respect of his wife's family, but also faced the dilemma of leaving the house.
In 2001, because of his family's poverty, Ah Cai's son-in-law was added to his wife Ah Yan's family, which was engaged in the sauerkraut business and had a very prosperous economy. After more than ten years of marriage, The Jackal thinks that the relationship between husband and wife is not bad.
Later, in 2017, Ah Cai and his wife Ah Yan went to Yunnan to open a gold and silver jewelry store, during which time, because the eldest daughter wanted to take the junior high school entrance examination, Ah Cai returned to Fujian.
However, let Ah Caiwanwan not expect that not long after he left his wife, his wife Ah Yan betrayed the marriage and put a green hat on him, and the things that annoyed him even more were still behind.
Since his wife's extramarital affair, she was also pregnant with someone else's child, and, despite his objections, his wife Ah Yan actually gave birth to the child.
Why is it so sure that the child is not Ah Cai's own, Ah Cai confessed that he had done "ligature" very early, so he concluded that the child was not his own child, and then insisted that his wife beat it. -
Because his wife gave birth to a child, her husband, Ah Cai, was angry, left home and worked alone outside for 2-3 years.
Now, the child is 3 years old, because of the hukou problem, the wife has made excessive demands, hoping that Ah Cai will put the child's account in his name, if he does not recognize the identity of this child, Ah Yan will drive Ah Cai out of the house with nothing, so that Ah Cai will be clean.
In the face of his wife's excessive demands, Ah Cai, as a man, was naturally unwilling to accept it; his wife, who put on a green hat for him, gave birth to a child, and finally let him "carry the pot" and raise the child to adulthood, he could not stand this behavior.
Speaking of this child, Ah Cai revealed to reporters that when his wife Ah Yan was pregnant, she consulted with him, and the wife said, "The two of them have been doing business outside for many years, and the people in the village will not find that this child is not his own child." ”
At the same time, Ah Cai also warned his wife that if the child is born, the relationship between the husband and wife is likely to have problems in the future, and as a result, the wife is bent on going her own way, resulting in the fact that now because of this child, his wife Ah Yan filed a divorce with him.
So, is it true that as Ah Cai said, his wife Ah Yan threatened to divorce and leave the house to force Ah Cai to admit that this child was his own child?
Nowadays, Ah Cai is not willing to divorce, so can this couple who have been married for 20 years have a feeling of redemption?
02 Husbands want compensation, wives: What contributions have you made when you come to my house
Subsequently, the mediator took the initiative to contact Ah Yan, and when she learned that her husband Ah Cai did not agree to the divorce and hoped for peace, Ah Yan seemed very unhappy and said directly:
"Reconcile what, I see him now disgusting!"
When asked whether Ah Yan had betrayed the marriage, Ah Yan did not hide it and confessed everything very frankly:
"I dare to say to the heavens, what's not a one-night stand, we haven't been together for eight years, sometimes we're in a bad mood, friends are together, a little wine, whatever, people will make mistakes, I bear the burden of what I do wrong." 」
Immediately after, Ah Yan told us that she had the idea of divorce very early on, but her father had been blocking it;
Referring to the child, Ah Yan told us that because she lived with Ah Cai for more than ten years, she gave birth to three daughters, during which she also miscarried 3 times, this time pregnant, because the fetal membrane is too thin, if it is forced to miscarry, her own life is in danger, and finally, Ah Yan resolutely gave birth to this child despite her husband's opposition.
As for why she insisted on divorce, the cause was not the problem of the child's hukou, but 20 years, she has been disappointed in the current marriage, thinking that it is a dead marriage.
Claiming that the husband was not considerate enough, did not know how to care for his wife, and was pregnant for several months without knowing it, until the child was about to be born, the husband did not know, at the same time, she also told us that she never asked her husband Ah Cai to admit that the child was his own.
In the process, Ah Yan also talked about some past events, for example, when she was pregnant with her daughter, her stomach was uncomfortable, and her husband did not care, but said that she disturbed his rest; after the abortion operation, the husband did not feel any pain, but said that the abortion was a small operation.
Seeing that Ah Yan insisted on divorce, the mediator had no choice but to inform the man of the appeal. Knowing that his wife is still divorced, Ah Cai hopes that his wife can give him some compensation and let him have a place to live.
Ah Cai told us that he had been a son-in-law for 20 years, and he had never managed a penny, the money was managed by his wife Ah Yan or his father-in-law and mother-in-law, and if he wanted to buy a pair of underwear, he needed to get the approval of his wife Ah Yan.
At the same time, after the two married, Ah Yan's parents' house was built from a 2-story building of more than a thousand square meters, and he wanted a house, or a request for the right of residence, not too much.
As a result, when we told Ah Cai's appeal to Ah Yan, Ah Yan refused, claiming that when the house was owned, her parents did not spend money to build it, and at the same time, she also said that Ah Cai married over as a door-to-door son-in-law, "You came to my house to do what contribution" as the reason, and refused Ah Cai's request.
03 The author's emotional summary
Mei Shousi wrote in "It was you who made me brave":
"Husband and wife should appreciate each other, appreciate to see the beauty, beauty to love more strongly." Bad relationships are torturing each other, good relationships are one soul awakening another soul, one soul holding another soul and dancing. Love and affection can make people brave. ”
The way husband and wife get along is to be together, do not dislike each other; marriage, in itself, will magnify each other's shortcomings, where there are perfect people, perfect marriage, but between husband and wife, know how to manage marriage.
Looking at the couple of Ah Cai and Ah Yan, the problems in the marriage are obvious:
The first point: between husband and wife, to understand each other's dignity; to buy a pair of underwear, you need to get the consent of the wife, the dignity of men is not; this is why many men are reluctant to be the son-in-law of the door, easy to be looked down upon by the woman's family, not respected.
The second point: love is mutual, the heart for the heart; Ah Yan always says that she can't get the love of her husband, just ask, in this marriage, Ah Yan gave her husband something, betrayed the marriage, have you ever considered Ah Cai's inner feelings. Of course, neither spouse met the requirements.
Running a marriage, not leaving it there, the feelings of husband and wife will heat up, that way, what is the difference between it and a pool of stagnant water; feelings, are cultivated, happy marriages, are similar, unhappy marriages, are complaining about each other's not, if you do not know your own problems, marriage, it is difficult to harvest happiness.
So, do you think that the door-to-door son-in-law Ah Cai wants to compensate excessively?