It is easy to have children and it is difficult to raise children, only when you have children, you know how your parents put up with themselves when they are young, because children are biological, no matter how much the child is destroyed, no matter how much crying, how to make trouble, parents are reluctant to give a cruel hand, can only let the child cry and play with temper, the taste, only after becoming a parent can you understand one by one. Especially some stubborn children, originally spoiled, after growing up, they want to be windy, to rain and rain, and if they don't get it, they will start to roll and roll, so that parents have no choice.
Other children do not say, take our family Xinxin to take an example, when I gave birth to Xinxin I was born by caesarean section, during the confinement period after we were discharged from the hospital, Xinxin was never noisy, not hungry, peeing, pulling, basically eating and sleeping, sleeping and eating, during the confinement period I could not hear his crying, very well-behaved, which also made me proud for a long time. The same is true after he grows up, when he is one or two years old, no matter where he is taken, he is very well-behaved and sensible, even if he buys something, what toys he wants, he will obediently ask my opinion and then buy, it will not be too much, giving people the feeling that this child is very good at thinking for people.
But after the age of three, his temperament began to slowly change, and even reached a state that broke me at one point. Because I have always been full-time with Xinxin, I have not relied on the elders in the family to help bring it, so I am very intimidating here. But after he was three years old, he seemed to have grasped my temperament and always knew what to do to make me succumb to his cries. That is, yesterday's incident, because the previous kindergarten food was too poor, the teacher was not careful, I found him a kindergarten again, but in any case he was not willing to go, so he had to talk about the conditions, to agree to take him to play, take him to pick strawberries, buy him good food, he was willing to go, otherwise he would not move my legs.
I almost kicked him in the face, but no way, who made him his son? It can only come according to his nature. And most parents have no choice but to deal with their child's unreasonable annoyance, one is to follow him, the other is to ignore him, but I always choose the first one. Because the first way is more convenient, as long as he is willing to follow him, he can always stop crying in time, and he does not know how good it is. But in fact, the way parents deal with children when they cry is very important, and have a very obvious impact on the future growth of children, such as the following two ways of handling and influencing:
First, blindly follow the child
The best way for children to make unreasonable trouble is to directly follow the child's ideas, especially when shopping outside, because seeing some fun toys or playgrounds, dead or alive, will make you two become the brightest focus of the whole scene, so when the child is crying and going to play, to buy things, directly listen to the child's words, meet the child's requirements, generally will soon stop crying, the crowd will naturally disperse. The same is true at home, whether children want to watch TV or play with toys, as long as they cry and do not want to eat, do not want to sleep, is to watch TV, want to play with toys, as long as they follow them, they will be very quiet and consciously play with themselves.
Doesn't this approach seem very clever? I often use this way to deal with Xinxin, mainly because I don't like him to argue with me to do things, nor do I like to be suddenly stared at by so many people on the street, so I am used to meeting his requirements in exchange for a moment of silence. However, this practice seems ingenious, but in fact it is full of drawbacks, as to why it is said, it is extremely obvious in Xinxin's body. He is only 4 years old now, and he used to be as obedient as a rabbit, but because he knows my handle and knows how to make me compromise, he always wants what he must get, otherwise he will quarrel peacefully.
In this way, Xinxin is likely to become a bear child in the eyes of others when he grows up, will not care about the feelings of others, and his personality is also very selfish, cold-blooded, and even become a veritable nibbling old man. Of course, I only occasionally treat him in this way, he did pinch me to death, but for him I naturally have my own way of dealing with him, not always blindly relying on him, mainly or occasions, after all, the child is spoiled, the impact on the development of the child's personality is very large.
Second, directly ignore the child
Some parents will treat their children's unreasonable teasing with the attitude of "being a person for the first time, why should I let you" and throw around. Ah Yan was like this to her daughter, and I remember once having a buffet with Ah Yan, when I took Xin Xinxin out of the house, and she took her daughter, and the picture was almost comparable to the scene of the war. Because the two children are more playful, Although Xin Xin said that he did not like to shout loudly, he also liked to run around, and Ah Yan's daughter was even more powerful, not only liked to run around, seeing that the drinks he liked to drink were also packed, and many cups could not be finished and thrown there, and when Ah Yan found out, it was too late.
However, just when Ah Yan blamed her daughter for not wasting the buffet drinks like this, her daughter righteously said, "Isn't eating a buffet just to eat like this?" Why are you scolding me? You're such a bad mother," and then cried in the cafeteria. Seeing her daughter so unreasonable, Ah Yan is also helpless, but she also has her own trick, that is, no matter how the daughter makes trouble, she ignores her, after seven or eight minutes, it may be that she feels really boring, so it does not continue to make trouble, but the people who eat in the restaurant are pointing, and it always feels that the meal that 4 of us eat at the buffet is eaten by the guidance.
Ah Yan's practice, although it took some time, did eventually make her daughter stop, but this practice also has great drawbacks. Parents are the child's first teacher, and the child will blindly rely on the parents to ask for it, which is nothing more than that they think that the parents can support their own needs, and it is also a way for the child to ask for a sense of security. If the child is unreasonable to make trouble, always take the way of ignoring it, it may make the child feel that the parents do not love themselves, feel that they are not important, so no matter how much they fool around, they will not pay attention to themselves, and over time may have self-doubt, so that the relationship with their parents will gradually drift apart.
Each child's personality is different, but children have a common characteristic, that is, when they reach a certain age, there may be unreasonable trouble, the phenomenon of throwing and rolling, no matter how well-behaved the child will appear, but it is more or less a thing. As for how to educate children, in daily life, words and deeds are greater than empty talk, do not always wait until the problem appears to solve the problem, but to prevent problems before they occur, in the face of children sprinkling and rolling, a simple way of dealing with it, may affect the child's life, I don't know how you face the child to roll and roll?