Recently, a TV series called "Little MinJia" was released. This TV series tells the story of Wang Sumin raising two daughters Liu Xiaomin and Liu Xiaojie alone, but she did not expect that her daughters were over thirty years old but divorced one after another.
According to new data released by the Civil Affairs Bureau in 2020, the divorce rate in China is 43.83%. This means that 20,000 of Every 45,000 Couples Married in China divorce. Divorce and infidelity have now become high-frequency words.
The husband of the famous writer Yang Dai once said: "Marriage is like a besieged city, people outside the city want to come in, and people in the city want to go out." ”
When the marriage is married, both men and women swear an oath and a mountain alliance, which is touching. But how long can this vow, this feeling, last?
In "Xiao Min's Family", although Wang Sumin's two daughters were divorced, they eventually remarried and lived a happy life.
But a person's life is only a few short decades, how many times can you divorce and how many times can you remarry?
Oswald Schwartz said: "A happy marriage is one of the greatest happiness in life, and an unhappy marriage is tantamount to living in hell." ”
Therefore, it is quite important to choose a spouse correctly before marriage.
▲01
The attitude towards life should be consistent
Marriage is not a family, not a game, if you want to play, you can play together, and if you don't want to play, you go home separately.
Marriage is running in circles, running laps on the long track of life, who runs long, who runs far, who runs more laps, who is the final winner.
If you want to run far in the circle of marriage, then both parties to the marriage must have the same attitude towards life.
People's attitudes towards life are diverse and varied. Some people like to live a quiet life, some people want to live a lively life, some people want to live a dull life, and some people want to live an extraordinary life.
No matter what kind of life the married parties want to live, the main theme must be consistent. The two cannot have too much contrast in the main theme of their attitudes to life, otherwise such a marriage cannot be happy and cannot last long.
If you are both husband and wife, one person walks very slowly and the pace of life is very slow, while the other person walks fast and the pace of life is fast. Two people like this, walking fashionably and unable to keep up with each other's rhythms, do you say they might be happy?
▲02
The three views must be consistent
Zhang Kangkang said: "People with different ambitions and the same attitude to life will not love each other, but it is difficult to combine. ”
It can be seen that it is not enough for the husband and wife to have the same attitude towards life, but also to be like-minded and have the same three views.
According to the definition of the three views of Marxist philosophy, the three views of man refer to the world view, life outlook and values.
The worldview refers to man's overall view and fundamental view of the world. Two people with the same world view, then they can be regarded as people of the same world, and they may have a common discourse.
If both husband and wife have different world views and are not people of the same world, how can they love each other?
Maybe you will say that there are many love stories in the cross-over drama! But wake up, kid! This is not a story, not a fairy tale, but the real world, a real and cruel real world.
The outlook on life refers to people's overall views and fundamental views on life, which determines a person's choices and plans for their own lives.
Only when the two parties to the marriage have the same outlook on life can they encourage each other on the long road of life and live happily for a long time.
Values refer to people's overall and fundamental views on the value of things. Compared with the world view and the outlook on life, in fact, values are the most important. Because it directly determines the nature of man and his position in society.
The so-called differences in the Tao do not conspire with each other, in fact, it refers more to the difference in values in the three views.
Two people may come together because their worldview and outlook on life are the same, but they may part ways because of different values, or even turn against each other.
▲03
All aspects of the conditions are as equal as possible
simple. Austin said: "It has become a universally accepted truth that all rich bachelors always want to marry a wife." ”
It is a truth that both men and women should try to be equal in order to be happy.
In the TV series, there are many stories of the "Domineering President Falls in Love with Me" series that have triggered the endless reverie of countless young girls.
I do not deny that in reality there may indeed be such a marriage that is extremely unequal in terms of conditions, but can be happy.
But for the most part, our marriage is the right one for us.
If the gap between the conditions between men and women is too large, even if both men and women do not care about this gap of conditions, the parents of both sides will care a little.
Taking a step back, even if both parents agree, due to different conditions, the huge differences in the living habits and even aspects of life brought by men and women are enough to make a marriage end.
No matter how loving both men and women are before marriage, they may eventually lose to conditions and lose to reality. Therefore, the parties to the marriage should try to be as equal as possible in all aspects of the conditions.
▲04
Choose carefully, decide boldly!
"Roland Whispers" wrote: "Marriage matters, although we should be cautious, but seriously speaking, there is always a sense of adventure." Therefore, when choosing, the heart should be careful; when deciding, the courage should not be too small. ”
Love is a gift from God, and although it is precious, it is fleeting. One hesitation, one careful step, we may miss out on lifelong happiness.
When we have determined the main theme, three views and conditions of the other party's attitude toward life, we must make a decisive decision, do not hesitate, do not wait. Because love can't stand waiting.
Hesitation will lead to defeat, and indecision may become your last choice at any time!
Conclusion
Marriage is the top priority in life, and it should be carefully considered and the spouse should be carefully chosen. But when you determine that the other person is the person you can spend your life with, you must not hesitate to choose decisively.
Finally, I wish you all the people in your life that you can find the person in your life and live a happy and happy life!
Figure | Baidu Encyclopedia
Wen | shan mo