For the matter of divorce, the public usually has such a view: divorced women want to remarry to constantly lower their requirements; and divorced men will not be discriminated against in the marriage market.
Some people even say that men who have had marital experience must know more about hurting people and must know how to cherish marriage. The man's experience of divorce has become his experience, his plus.
But is this really the case?
Zhang Ming has been married for six years, and since the birth of the child, he has developed a tired mind. The wife did not have time to pay attention to his feelings, and she poured herself on the child, saying that he would leave the child at his parents' house, and the wife would like to keep herself.
The wife works during the day and spends most of the rest of the evening, except for a quick bite of food.
And Zhang Ming was not good at taking care of people, and has always been the kind of person who is taken care of. Coupled with the fact that the child loves to cry, and the joy of the child when he was just born, Zhang Ming occasionally teased the child, and he did not take care of it again.
Before there were no children, Zhang Ming and his wife seemed to be tied together as a conjoined baby, and now only he was left alone. There is too much idle time, and the days are boring.
Zhang Ming did not have any bad habits, and there were no two friends. Time is spent playing games and browsing websites.
The wife is not without complaints, working normally during the day, taking care of the children at night, and getting up several times at night, Zhang Ming is idle, changing a diaper is not wet and has to ask three times, and the contradiction between the two people will breed.
One day, Zhang Ming was spending time online and inadvertently clicked into a post with a linked group. This group is a group of men and women who have experienced a failed marriage and want to remarry and go on a blind date.
Zhang Ming didn't know what kind of mentality he had at that time, so he added it. After entering the group, the group owner asked Zhang Ming to mark the age, height, monthly salary, the duration of the last marriage and other information.
People in the group often post information about what kind of other half they want to find, and what their basic conditions are.
If anyone finds a marriage partner, they will announce the good news in the group, accept everyone's congratulations and then leave the group.
Zhang Ming is in a state of marriage, some heart is weak, dare not bubble in the group. But this did not delay him to learn the information in the group.
For more than a year, Zhang Ming witnessed the remarriage and blind date of at least 20 or 30 divorced men and women. It is not easy to find that men and women remarry, and men remarrying is not as easy as they think.
There is a man in the group who often swipes messages, as long as he sees a woman entering the group, he will inevitably send a profile once.
The man is 170cm tall and weighs 150 pounds, has a single room, and has a monthly salary of 5000 yuan. There are a pair of elderly parents in the countryside, who are not insured and need men to retire. In the previous marriage, there was a son and a daughter, and the girl was raised by her wife and brought her own son.
But every time he finished sending a message, he sank into the sea. No one is willing to respond, no one is willing to suffer with him.
Men remarry, all pragmatic, and want to find someone who cooks and washes and helps take care of the children. Women remarry, but also very realistic, need companionship, need financial support.
There was also a man, two houses, with a financial base. But the two sons from the previous marriage were left to him to raise.
Once, he showed a lady in the group his house, the room was well decorated, although he deliberately avoided it, but it was a visible mess.
A man with two sons, life is really not easy. According to his conditions, Zhang Ming thought it would be easy to find, but after four years of searching, there was no suitable one.
There is also a person who has to come to the group to complain after each blind date. For more than a year, various blind dates have spent a lot of money, but none of them have been negotiated. The man said he was going to be depressed, and if he couldn't do it, he wouldn't look for it.
The people in the group are all kinds of people, and after two years of looking, they can find the other half of their hearts, and very few.
Most men are new to divorce and feel free and productive. As the days went on, they all. Either I feel that one person is hard, or I am frustrated on the way to find my other half.
There is a category of men easy to find. Rich, idle, childless. Before you prepare for divorce, you can look at yourself in advance. Of course, such men are easy to find regardless of whether they are first marriage, second marriage, or even third marriage.
Many men are confused and always dissatisfied in marriage. He thinks his wife has done nothing but bring a baby.
Then, find an opportunity in marriage, let the man take the baby independently, live independently for a period of time, don't have to do everything, and take care of him too comfortably. As long as the man's conscience is still there, the results can be seen.
And there is also a benefit for men, allowing him to accurately estimate the cost of divorce, intuitively facing the cost of time, energy in addition to the cost of money.
Sometimes men are tall and look mature, but in terms of psychological age, many men are still small children. Don't blame him, just give him a chance to grow.
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The world is so big, thank you, you can see me!
[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]