01
Marriage is a lifelong event, and we must be cautious and marry someone who really loves each other and is suitable for each other. Some girls are overwhelmed by love before they get married, and they get married in a confused way. After marriage, when faced with a real life, the brain is cleared up, and the problem comes.
Therefore, before getting married, you must be calm-headed, no matter how much you love this man, you must face it rationally, and you can't be emotional. The things that should be said clearly, before marriage, should be measured whether they can accept it. If you can't accept it, then break up early, and no one should delay anyone's youth.
A person gets married and has a family, which means that a new chapter in life has begun, so it is necessary to correct the attitude and run a new life well. The new life also needs material conditions as a basis, and people have to eat and dress when they live, so no one can do without money. On the issue of money, make it clear before you get married.
02
The girl went to her boyfriend's house for the first time and heard her boyfriend and mother-in-law talking about salary. The boyfriend's monthly salary is 7500 yuan, he wants to give 5500 yuan to his parents, and the same is true after marriage, the girl proposed to break up.
This is what happened to Lu Caixing, she could not accept her boyfriend's approach, and her boyfriend was unwilling to change, so in the end the two people broke up. Let's listen to Lu Caixing's experience.
Self-narrator: Lu Caixing
Age: 28 years old
Occupation: Advertising agency front desk
City: Mudanjiang
03
My boyfriend and I were middle school classmates, and the seats were far apart at that time, so we weren't very familiar. After graduating from high school, we went our separate ways without any contact. Later, I went to work for an advertising agency, and one day he came to talk about advertising for their company, and we met again.
Because it was an old classmate, he invited me to dinner, saying that it was an old classmate to reminisce about the past, and I gladly agreed. After this meal, he often contacted me, sometimes talking to me about advertising; sometimes talking about my previous studies; sometimes asking me out to play...
Slowly, the two of us unconsciously got together, he was very good to me, but he was more frugal. His family is rural, the family's economic conditions are not very good, her mother has a chronic disease, and she has to take medicine all year round.
He did not hide from me about the situation in his family, he said that because the family's economic conditions were not good, he developed the habit of thrift and thrift, and never spent money indiscriminately. I think he's very honest, and it's good to say that it's good to be diligent and thrifty, and of course I'm very much in favor of it.
Because he is diligent and thrifty, we never spend money indiscriminately when we are together, rarely go to the movies, and rarely eat out. When we dated, a lot of times I spent money, and my family was in better condition than his family, so I was financially more generous than him.
04
After talking for two years, when we were both thinking about getting married, I took him home to meet his parents. My parents had no problem with him, but my mom wasn't happy with the conditions in his house, so she asked me to go to his house.
I followed my boyfriend to his house very formally for the first time, and his parents were very enthusiastic about me. In fact, his family conditions are OK, although the mother-in-law is not in good health, but it is not the kind that cannot be moved at all, she just does not go to work.
The mother-in-law made a big table of dishes, very sumptuous, and she kept rubbing vegetables for me to eat more. The father-in-law said that they would buy us a wedding house in the city, so we can rest assured that the wedding will be beautiful.
I was very happy to hear it, thinking that my boyfriend kept saying that the conditions in his family were not good, so I told my mother what he said. If my mother came to her boyfriend's house to see, she would not be dissatisfied with the conditions of her boyfriend's house, and the conditions of her boyfriend's house would be OK.
After eating, we sat down for a while, the father-in-law accompanied us to talk, and the mother-in-law went to the kitchen to clean up the dishes. After a while, we were getting ready to leave, and my boyfriend asked me to sit down, and he went to the kitchen to talk to his mother.
05
After my boyfriend went to the kitchen, I thought I should also say hello to my mother-in-law, so I also went to the kitchen. When I walked to the kitchen door, I heard my boyfriend and my mother-in-law talking, and the mother-in-law said: "Your monthly salary is 7500 yuan, 5500 yuan is given to me, can you spend it yourself?" ”
The boyfriend said: "Enough, 2,000 yuan is more than enough!" Anyway, I live in the unit dormitory, do not pay rent, three meals a day in the unit to eat the canteen, lunch do not money, is a working meal, so I do not have a big expense. ”
The mother-in-law said: "Well, if the money is not enough, tell your mother that the conditions in the family are not as tense as in previous years." When you get married, don't give me your salary, give it to your wife! Your father's salary is enough for our old couple to spend. ”
The boyfriend immediately said: "After getting married, I will still give you 5500 yuan per month, everything will be according to the old rules, and it will not change." ”
"So how do you do it?" Your wife will have an opinion, which is not in accordance with the rules. The mother-in-law said.
"What rules, I'm in charge of my money!" You have raised me with hard work, you have provided me with education, I have given you my salary, this is my rule! Caixing listens to me everything, she doesn't dare to have an opinion, I say how it is how..." the boyfriend said.
Hearing this, I was suddenly stunned, so I didn't go into the kitchen.
06
Later, on the way back, I asked my boyfriend, how will his salary be arranged after marriage? The boyfriend is still very honest, just like he told his mother-in-law, he gives his parents 5500 yuan a month. I asked him, is his 2,000 yuan enough to support his family?
The boyfriend said, "Isn't there still your salary?" How can it not be enough? ”
I said, "You really don't know how expensive chai rice is!" So do you want to raise children? ”
"Of course you have to raise it, isn't your salary enough to raise a child?" Anyway, I want to give my parents 5500 yuan a month, it is not easy for them to raise me, I want to honor them, and my mother is not in good health. The boyfriend said.
"Then I also have to honor my parents, they raise me is not easy, so I also have to give most of the salary to my parents, so how to raise children?" 」 I asked him again.
He glanced at me and said, "You're married, unlike me." The water spilled by the married daughter, how can your salary be given to your parents? ”
The two of us argued all the way, and when we got to my door, we didn't argue about a result, he just insisted on giving his parents 5500 yuan. In the end, I broke up with him and I felt that I would not be happy by marrying him.
epilogue:
Lu Caixing is a very sensible girl, and when she learned about her boyfriend's salary arrangement, she broke up decisively. Assuming that she is reluctant to have feelings between them, and if she really marries her boyfriend, and the boyfriend does not change his mind, then they are bound to quarrel over money.
Those who are children should honor their parents, but within the scope of their abilities, they must not blindly filial piety. A person who gives money to his parents is filial to his parents; running his marriage and family well is also filial piety to his parents, and does not let his parents worry and worry about themselves.
Everyone has to take on many roles, to be a parent's child, to be filial to the parents; to be the father or mother of the child, to raise the child; after the husband and wife get married, they must support each other. Lu Caixing's ex-boyfriend only wants to be a filial piety, and he does not think about other things at all, such a person is really not suitable for marriage.
When encountering this kind of consideration problem, only consider one aspect, there is no overall concept of the man, the girl is still far away from him! Marrying this kind of man, marriage is destined to be a chicken feather, will be full of contradictions, and will never be happy.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.