García Márquez wrote in One Hundred Years of Solitude: "The secret of a happy old age is nothing else, but a decent agreement with loneliness." ”
Although many elderly people want to live with their children, enjoy the joy of the world, and their children and grandchildren are on their knees, which is the most beautiful thing in the world, but many things are not what we want to do.
Children are not unfilial, but forced by reality, must spend a lot of time and energy on work, in order to earn money to support the family, to maintain life; children are not tolerant of you, want to quarrel with you, but you are not the same era, the three views are inevitably incompatible, can not understand each other.
Instead of living together, often quarreling, complaining about each other, and hurting feelings, it is better to smell far and near, keep a certain distance, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, as parents, live their own lives, do not drag the children's hind legs can be.
However, the older people are, the more afraid of loneliness, the more they like to join in the fun, if there is a partner around, it is not bad, if they are alone, many old people can not adapt to such a day.
As a result, many elderly people choose to find a wife, and the two people spend the rest of their lives hand in hand.
Marriage is a basic right of people, whether young or old, as long as you are single, you have the right to marry. However, in the same way, whether young or old, you must cherish marriage and treat your other half well, otherwise you will not be able to get happiness.
As Zhou Guoping said: "A good marriage is to rely on cherishing and protecting, cherishing is the fate, the fate is in the cherishing, and the cherished heart dies, then the fate is exhausted." ”
If the purpose of your wife is only to find a free nanny for yourself and even your whole family, your marriage in your later years is doomed to not last long. You treat others as wrongdoers, and others will not be stupid to that point, and let you calculate.
A few days ago, the 59-year-old Aunt Luo moved out of the new wife's home and resumed singleness, after this experience, Aunt Luo dismissed the idea of finding someone to spend the rest of her life with, planning to adapt to loneliness and live her own life.
01. The reason why I want to find a wife is because I feel that there are many inconveniences in living alone;
34 years ago, the 25-year-old Aunt Luo married under the arrangement of her parents, and in the third year after marriage, she gave birth to a daughter.
Aunt Luo's marriage lasted for 7 years, and it came to an end because the man had an extramarital affair. Although her parents advised her to endure, as if she did not know, but the stubborn temper, the eyes can not tolerate the sand Aunt Luo felt intolerable, would rather become a single mother, but also to leave and betray her husband, in the end, she got her wish.
After Aunt Luo divorced, her mother's family could not go back, so she took her daughter to the field, while looking for a job, while raising her daughter, suffered a lot, and finally raised her daughter.
Last year, Aunt Luo's daughter met her other half and got married, although her daughter married in the same city, and her daughter's home was less than an hour's drive from her home, but Aunt Luo believed that neither her in-laws nor her father-in-law and mother-in-law were suitable for living with the children and should maintain a certain distance. If she had quarreled with her son-in-law, wouldn't it be difficult for her daughter to do it?
However, Aunt Luo soon discovered that a person's old age is not good.
First of all, you are the only one in the family, quiet in the night, the sense of loneliness and powerlessness is more obvious, making it difficult to toss and turn and sleep.
Secondly, with the increase of age, coupled with the fact that she suffered too much in order to make a living when she was young, Aunt Luo's body was no longer as tough as before, and she could no longer carry a bag of rice upstairs as before without any effort.
Finally, seeing the elderly couples holding hands and walking instead of the sunset, Aunt Luo couldn't help but feel envious, so she moved the idea of finding another wife.
02. I don't care if the children come to have a meal once in a while, or if everyone does it together;
Before looking for her wife, Aunt Luo asked her daughter's opinion, for this, the daughter did not object, but emphasized one thing, that is, I hope that Aunt Luo will not casually pull the evidence, once the certificate is obtained, it is found that the two people are not suitable, and it is a troublesome thing to want to leave.
Aunt Luo accepted her daughter's advice, and when she was with Uncle Wu, she did not get a marriage license, and the two people were considered to be partners for the elderly.
Uncle Wu is 63 years old this year, lives in the same community as Aunt Luo, and has a monthly pension of more than 3,000, which is slightly more than Aunt Luo.
Uncle Wu has a son and a daughter, both of whom have established a family, all in this city, and before Aunt Luo moved over, the probability of sons and daughters visiting Uncle Wu was once a month.
After Uncle Wu found his wife, the number of times his children came became much more frequent, to be honest, Aunt Luo did not object to Uncle Wu's children coming to the house, and she was also eager to see her daughter and son-in-law and grandson often.
"If they are kind to me, a little more respectful, come to a meal once in a while, or so many people get together and everyone works together, that's all right, but, I see, in the eyes of their family, I am a free nanny, not only do not want money, but also paste money." 」
03. Not only let me cook alone, but also let me take money to make up for it, when I am wronged?
Since Uncle Wu remarried, his children, a total of 6 people, rub food twice a week, not only on weekends, but also on weekdays.
As soon as they came, Aunt Luo was busy, not only to prepare a hearty dinner for the 8 people, to have meat and vegetarian, to take into account everyone's tastes, such as Uncle Wu loves to eat spicy but Uncle Wu's daughter is afraid of spicy, Uncle Wu's grandson has to eat braised pork every time, Uncle Wu's daughter-in-law hates garlic, Uncle Wu's teeth are not good, meat should be stewed a little, etc., so that Aunt Luo feels tired.
What was even more infuriating was that they came twice a week, had to eat well every time, and when they left, they took a lot of things from home, but they never saw them pay a penny. The food fee given by Uncle Wu was not enough at all, that is to say, Aunt Luo had to take money from her pension to supplement them.
Aunt Luo couldn't stand it, and complained to Uncle Wu a little, hoping that Uncle Wu's children would understand the elders, either work together or reduce the number of times they came back to rub rice, but Uncle Wu not only did not understand Aunt Luo, but also accused Aunt Luo, saying that they were all family and should not be preoccupied with these small things.
"Little things? Of course, you think it's a small thing, and you don't need to do it, and your children and grandchildren can also benefit, it's really a lot of things. However, the reason why I want to find a wife is because I want to find someone to accompany me to share happiness and hardships, not to be a free nanny who can be paid for. Bye bye! ”
Aunt Luo was extremely disappointed in Uncle Wu and decisively told Uncle Wu to break up. Uncle Wu refused to let go, ran to Aunt Luo's house several times to make trouble, and after Aunt Luo's son-in-law knew about it, he went to the door and warned Uncle Wu fiercely, so that Uncle Wu was much more honest.
04. Whether you will be treated as a wrongdoer is directly related to your choice.
As Yan Rujing said in "Strange Flowers": "Patience in marriage has a time limit, forbearance is called calm and calm for a while, forbearance for a lifetime, all depends on fate." ”
Whether you will be treated as a wrongdoer is directly related to your choice. If they have this kind of thinking, the first time they test you, you choose to compromise, choose to do what they want, they may treat you as a wronged head and demand from you unscrupulously.
If you choose to resist, resolutely refuse, rather fall out than compromise, let them not get any benefits, touch a hard nail, they will not be idle and bored to continue to find your trouble.
Marriage should bring you happiness, is help, is a win-win situation, if marriage brings you only pain, then, timely stop loss is also a way to love yourself.
END.
Today's topic: Do you recommend that single elderly people find a partner? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.