Marriage from the once inevitable law of just need, has reached the era of casual personal life choice, so single or even unmarried women are more and more, the ancients said "holding the hand of the son, with the son with the old", in today's fast-paced, but also more concerned about personal comfort in the era, to a large extent has become a luxury.
Because in the adult world, the pursuit is different, the cognition is different, and the variables of feelings are also larger, couples who can come to the end of their lives, or couples who are single-minded and do not think carefully, are really unattainable.
Some people choose to be actively single because of conflicting ideas and can't find a good match; some people are split and can only be passively single. Of course, there are also people who die unexpectedly because of their partners, and they have no choice but to accept singleness.
No matter what the reason, but when one day as a woman suddenly want to end single, then you must not be blindly impulsive, as the age increases, especially into middle age, then there are a few pits to remember to avoid.
Sweet talk "pit"
Girls who have just opened their hearts can understand that after all, they are not deeply involved in the world, but a mature woman should understand that the most taboo thing to do with men is to communicate with their ears.
On the one hand, a man of this age is still using the old routine to prove that he has nothing to grow, on the other hand, it is very likely that he is a veteran of the love field or even an emotional liar, so people who listen to the pleasant ears may not be able to make you really happy, or really want to live with you for a lifetime.
When you are young, you fall into the pit of sweet words, and what is pitted is youth, feelings and innocence, but after reaching a certain age, you will lose more, the impact on the people around you will be greater, and the implications will be wider, so you must be cautious. At this age, if you don't use your brain to fall in love, I'm afraid you can only be deceived and pit by your ability.
The "pit" of long-term love
The essence of long-term love is the choice after weighing the pros and cons, and it is undeniable that the appearance of youth is a decreasing capital that women cannot avoid, and what is the value of being weighed at this moment? Therefore, the reason why you are chosen by the "figure" may be the key trigger for future pits.
To put it in layman's terms, this age is still worth a picture, either your pro bono service or you have assets to be profitable.
The "pit" of high income
There is nothing wrong with choosing a spouse to see the economic situation, and it is indeed very important to live an income, but if you choose only because the person's income is high and economically rich, then it is likely to fall into the "pit" that you think you are, because whether you are married for the first time or remarried, after a certain age, the other party may not be willing to share their wealth.
When the only advantage you have in mind will not be shared for free, then you will have nothing and you may have to pay backwards.
According to common sense, women who are too old find high-income men, often older than their own opposite sex, after all, a small age and high income men, rarely find a sister or even aunt woman, so an old man who is old will pay considerable attention to his own assets, it is difficult for him to be like a young man, spare no effort to spend for you.
Men of this age, to be honest, have now looked down on feelings, want to find a woman, nothing more than to find someone to accompany, not to go home from work, a person to guard the cold house, or someone to take care of the housework, to put it realistically is to find a safe nanny, his so-called will be good to you, serious about you, is to manage to eat and live, as for the other, as for the quality, it must be controlled by him.
Therefore, if a woman simply looks at the high income of the other party and decides, then it is likely that she will regret it, because his money income has no absolute relationship with you.
The "pit" of mutual care
The essence of marriage is indeed the exchange of values, but with age, people's self-interest will be higher, for this point of naturally rational men will be more prominent, aside from the selfishness of human nature, men also have one more natural characteristic that is "lazy"
Therefore, taking care of each other will become the wishful thinking of women, if you only want to live a life with a partner, or take care of each other, or forget it, because even if you are willing to not mind being a nanny first, the other party may not be willing to be a nurse when you need it.
You can casually ask an elderly man, looking for a daughter-in-law or looking for an old partner is why, absolutely not love, but it is the comfort of the day, we can try to make both parties become a couple who can take care of each other, but we must not try to choose this person as a companion just because of finding a mutual care, because finding a pit to jump down may not be able to get the service you need.
Different ages have different ages to think about things, there are also have to face the real problems, emotions, marriage you choose to involve, has long been no longer as pure and single as the green onion era.
Marriage is a woman's second reincarnation, but do not expect marriage to change the fate, best-selling author Su Qian in his "more independent, the more advanced life" in his book "the more independent a woman, the more advanced to live" through his own stories and insights, tell women that women only continue to upgrade themselves, in order to meet a better self, let themselves live more advanced.
First: to make yourself more and more advanced, you must first learn to love yourself, learn to take care of yourself, and love yourself first, in order to usher in a high-energy life. Let yourself become an intellectual woman, you can advance and retreat, live rationally, do not become the burden of others, do not attach to it at will, live independently is the basis of the relationship, but also the capital of equal sitting.
Second: We must learn to live in a relaxed and measured way. Master speaking skills, in communication, so that others have the opportunity to show off. Learn to be a little woman, to be soft and rigid, to melt the world with tenderness.
Third: Love is an instinctive impulse of an animal, knowing that it is wrong, and stubbornly sticking it in.
If you want the opposite sex to pay attention to you, you must pay attention to the tone of your voice, and falling in love focuses on feelings. Wanting the other person to be inseparable from you, and most importantly, make the man feel insecure, and don't make him too sure of everything.
Remarriage in old age is much more realistic, much more pragmatic, relatively much harder, not simply love, but also the scale and sense of proportion between getting along.
After all, people of a certain age choose marriage, no "figure" will not nod, avoid pit at the same time, you only have to learn to create a "pit" that makes each other's heart move, the relationship may be longer, and it will be relatively happier.
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Text/Relief Emotional Station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at the restoration of romantic relationships, marital contradictions and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original ecological family. The lonely journey of life, listening to your grievances and pressures, helping visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, saving their lovers, managing their feelings, and striving to become happier people.