Introduction: When women are unfortunate enough to encounter the dilemma of domestic violence in marriage, do not escape, let alone fear, but should find ways to face and solve. But if you can avoid such events before marriage, or reduce the probability of them happening, it is a very good thing. Therefore, in the love period before marriage, it is especially important to polish your eyes, see the people around you, do not be carried away by temporary love, and remain rational...
The TV series "Jiang Zhao Dawn", which has a compact plot and excellent script, is the first story in China to tell how women redeem themselves in domestic violence.
Due to the combination of many real cases of social news, the drama is full of fireworks and has gained a good audience reputation after its broadcast.
Although the heroine of the play, Li Xiaonan, is an ordinary woman of the lower class of society, she still has dreams, strong, positive, and sunny life, she only wants to live a stable and ordinary life, even if she knows that she is not ladylike, she has met a good man who seems to be considerate and gentle, but she is actually a gambling addict, a domestic violence wife and incompetent, and even a husband who wants to kill his wife and cheat on insurance in the end.
In fact, Li Xiaonan's experience is similar to that of many women who are suffering from domestic violence in society, and these violent husbands will use violence to coax their wives softly and softly as if nothing had happened, and even apologize.
Li Xiaonan said that when you see those women who have been abused in the social news, they will believe these tricks after the fact again and again, and they will think that they are stupid, but when it really happens to themselves, they will suddenly understand them, and you feel that there is a voice that has been seducing you: You forgive him, just once, who has not made a mistake in this life.
Yes, when this happens to you, it will feel like walking into a dead end, struggling.
The heroine of the play, Li Xiaonan, used a more extreme way to let herself "hang her life on the line", bet on her own life, and if she wins, she can get rid of her husband, and if she loses her life, she will be gone. However, Li Xiaonan's method is too unsafe in reality, which is also the plot of the film and television drama after all.
So, how can modern women reduce the probability of such incidents before marriage, and if they encounter violence in marriage, how can they protect themselves?
1, not to see what the other party said, but to see what he did.
The pre-marital love period is a critical period for examining the marriage partner, and many women are blinded and blinded by rhetoric during the love period, so that they have no reason to judge whether the other party is true or false.
In the love period, if the other party just says nice words and draws a pie for you all day, without actual action, it is actually just empty talk. The promise promised to you can only be fulfilled, and that is the true "true feeling".
Therefore, whether it is the promise of small things in life or the promise of major events in life, they can be fulfilled as promised and live down-to-earth, and such a partner will have a great sense of security for women.
On the contrary, if you promise to buy something for you for a long time, always say that you will buy it later, promise to love you only, but you find that when he is dating, he is always in his heart, everything is just a mouthful, rhetoric, and no practical action, how can such an unreliable partner be entrusted for life?
2. Watch family upbringing during love.
During the love period, you can observe the parents of the partner to learn about the education of the other party's family and the three views.
It is said that parents are the mentors of the child's life, and the words and deeds of the parents affect the child's life, and the child is the epitome of the parent.
In the play, Li Xiaonan's husband Su Rui, his parents are such an example, if Li Xiaonan can properly investigate Su Rui's parents during the love period, and then comprehensively consider, it will not be possible to get married after half a year of acquaintance.
After Su Rui was murdered and died, at his funeral, Su Rui's cheating lover Yu Hong thought that Li Xiaonan had killed Su Rui and had a dispute with Li Xiaonan.
At that time, Su Rui's parents were also at the scene, the son's cheating should have been a wrong thing, and at that time, the police did not have any evidence to prove who the murderer of Su Rui was, Su Rui's parents listened to the rumors of their son's lover and determined that the daughter-in-law Li Xiaonan was the murderer.
Su Rui and Li Xiaonan were married for a year and had no children, but the lover Yu Hong said at the funeral that she was pregnant, and Su Rui's parents felt that they had offspring, so they helped their son's lover to scold their daughter-in-law and tried to push and shove.
This kind of unreasonable, three-dimensional parents, the offspring raised to grow up in such a family environment, there is a high probability that they will be affected by their parents.
If the future in-laws are such unreasonable people, then they will have to suffer a lot after marriage.
After Su Rui's death, Li Xiaonan met his classmate Wang Cheng in high school, and Wang Cheng pulled Li Xiaonan at the darkest time of her life, and rented his house to Li Xiaonan when Li Xiaonan had nowhere to go, so the two became a shared relationship.
When Wang Cheng's mother came to visit her son at Wang Cheng's residence and saw that her son was sharing a room with a woman who had murdered her husband and continued to pay usury after her husband's death, she did not understand very much that her son was not short of money, so why she rented half of the house to a woman whose social relations seemed more complicated.
But when her son told her, Li Xiaonan was a very kind person and li Xiaonan helped himself in high school. Therefore, Wang Cheng's mother no longer asked questions, but told her son that he really had to know how to be a person, and he would support his son's decision.
In such a comparison, Su Rui's tutor and Wang Cheng's tutor are very different, and it is not surprising that the children who are educated are so different.
Su Rui domestic violence, cheating, gambling debts, and also want to kill his wife to cheat on insurance, while Wang Cheng, on the other hand, has a strong sense of responsibility, self-motivation, and respects his lover.
Therefore, observing each other's parents during love is also an important factor in measuring each other's character.
3. Make a big mistake and don't change it, leave immediately.
Many people will hide their shortcomings in order to give each other a perfect image during love, which will lead to some vices of the other party sometimes not being found during the relationship, and many bad aspects will erupt with the passage of marriage time.
In the play, Li Xiaonan's husband Su Rui, before marriage is a perfect man's image, after marriage he gradually exposed the other side of himself, likes to gamble, and owes usury, when others come to the door to ask for debts, but also with the creditor said that his wife has money, you can let the wife pay him back.
When Li Xiaonan first found out that her husband was in debt to usury, she saw her husband crying bitterly and begging for himself, and promised that he would never do it again, so he suddenly softened his heart.
Later, her husband's debts became more and more owed, and Li Xiaonan went to work during the day and set up stalls at night at night to earn money to help her husband pay off debts.
Repeated forgiveness is tantamount to indulgence, and the husband's debts are snowballing and more and more. In the end, Li Xiaonan was overwhelmed.
Frequent gambling like Su Rui owes usury, which is not a trivial matter, not to mention that Su Rui himself does not have the ability to repay debts, and he also has to let his wife work day and night to pay back for himself.
Such a mistake, if the other party is only confused for a while, can be forgiven once, but if there is a second time, and then indulge, it will harm the other party, but also harm themselves, so that the whole family is trapped in this vicious circle.
If the other person really loves you, you should correct your mistakes, not let you always pay for his mistakes.
For this kind of partner who has made a big mistake and has not changed repeatedly, it is better to stop the loss as soon as possible, even if you have deep feelings for him, but you can't withstand the torture of the years to come, so that you have been in prison and live a painful life for the second half of your life.
4. Have a zero-tolerance attitude towards domestic violence, collect evidence, and seek help.
In the play, the heroine Li Xiaonan has been working hard to make money to pay off her husband's debts because she has endured her husband's gambling, and she knows that her husband is not only not grateful, but also feels that this is what the wife should do. So Li Xiaonan couldn't bear it anymore and proposed to divorce him with her husband.
But every time a divorce is filed, she will be beaten by her husband once, Li Xiaonan later thought of simply leaving home and going outside to avoid it, but unfortunately was caught by her husband, so her husband threatened her with the lives of Li Xiaonan's mother and grandmother, so that she did not dare to leave the family or file for divorce.
Li Xiaonan's violent behavior towards her husband has always been silently endured alone, and she did not dare to tell her mother's family, for fear that her family would be worried.
Although Li Xiaonan's mother feels that her daughter's married life is not happy, she is also unaware of her daughter's domestic violence, and both mother and daughter like to hide their thoughts and lack communication and communication.
In fact, people who have been abused by domestic violence usually have a certain psychological trauma, which is more in need of family support, with the protection of family members, their own sense of security and confidence will increase a lot.
Being abused by the family is not your fault, don't think that telling your family will add to your worries, your family will definitely hope that you will live a happy life, after all, this is not a small contradiction within the family, which involves the infringement of personal rights and interests. Therefore, it is important to tell your family what happened to you and seek help from external forces.
In addition, collecting evidence after domestic violence is the most important point.
The heroine of the play, Li Xiaonan, secretly consulted a lawyer, and her husband moved his hands and feet on her brake pads to make her die unexpectedly; knowing that his wife had asthma, he also put an excess of aminophylline in her milk; while she was sleeping, he took her finger fingerprints to upgrade the accident insurance policy on her mobile phone, whether these acts could be sued for divorce, but the lawyer told her that her husband could be said to be Li Xiaonan's own operation, and with these alone, without substantial evidence, it was difficult for the police to accept this case.
And Li Xiaonan's evidence is a lot of self-talk, in the car to move hands and feet, milk into the milk, upgrade the accident insurance policy, etc., these incidents do not have a clear and complete evidence points to the husband to do.
The only useful evidence for Li Xiaonan is that once she went to the hospital after being abused by the family, there was a record of treatment, but at that time, her husband accompanied her to the doctor, and she could only tell the doctor that she accidentally fell, and she did not dare to call the police at that time.
The best way to be abused is to call the police immediately, when you make a call, you will automatically record the alarm phone number and time, truthfully state what happened to the police at that time, if there is an injury, you can request the police, let the police accompany you to the hospital to check it, tell the doctor truthfully about the injury, describe it in detail, and the diagnostic record is also an important evidence to be presented in the future.
Through the identification of injuries, if the degree of minor injuries is reached, the domestic violence offender will be punished with warning detention and other penalties, and if the injuries have reached a minor injury or even a serious injury, they will bear criminal responsibility.
In many domestic violence cases, the perpetrator will not easily agree to divorce, and will even be angry with the party filing for divorce, using more violent means, so, in the case of sufficient evidence, file a lawsuit with the people's court as soon as possible, and the people's court can also issue a habeas corpus order through your application during this period.
In addition, the law also stipulates that cases of domestic violence can apply for judicial assistance, and you can hire a free lawyer to help you file divorce proceedings.
In mainland law, if there is enough evidence to prove domestic violence, then there is a high probability that the court will award divorce when the divorce is first filed. If the evidence of domestic violence at the time of the first lawsuit is insufficient, then the next prosecution needs to be six months later, during which if there is no place to go for a while, you can turn to the regional women's federation, which has set up a temporary shelter that can help the beaten party to have a rest in an emergency.
During this period, if the other party conveys threatening and intimidating information on the phone or WeChat, and saves this information, future lawsuits can be used as evidence.
For domestic violence, you should adopt a "zero tolerance" attitude, domestic violence is only zero times and countless times, the more you compromise, the more afraid, the more rampant the other party. Therefore, when receiving domestic violence, we must retain the evidence under the premise of protecting ourselves, do not be soft-hearted, and do not turn back, because once forgiven, the future life will be an abyss.
epilogue:
In today's society, when the media publishes the news that some women are abused by the family, many young people will say "a little trick of marriage every day", but you can't veto all the partners in the world because you meet a scumbag. You know, there are definitely a few cases that can be on the news, but if you can avoid such events before marriage, or reduce the probability of occurrence, it is the best thing.
Therefore, in the pre-marriage love period, keep your sanity, polish your eyes, see the people around you, don't be carried away by the love of the moment, rational treatment is particularly important, because this will determine your future life and what kind of people live under the same roof.
Of course, if you are really unfortunate to encounter difficulties in marriage, don't run away, let alone fear, because the most frightening thing in the world is fear itself, but you should find a way to face and solve it.
The world is so beautiful, we don't have to give up the whole forest for a single leaf.
Just like the heroine Li Xiaonan in the play, she also met her own light in the end, met a partner who truly loved her, respected her, and was worth staying with for a lifetime, and no longer had to live in the darkness of violence.
In this way, I also want to say to all the "Li Xiaonan": you are very precious, you deserve to be loved, in the face of adversity, you must think calmly, know how to redeem yourself, after the darkness is finally dawn.
End。
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Today's topic discussion: If you are Li Xiaonan and meet the scumbag Su Rui, what will you do? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.