This article is authorized to be transferred from: Ten O'Clock Reading (ID: duhaoshu)
In recent days, the epidemic has been raging again in many places. Tomorrow, accidents, viruses, you never know which one will come first.
How many people realize at this moment what is the most important thing to themselves, and who is the person who is most worthy of our cherishing.
However, in Huainan, Anhui Province, a 38-year-old mother was brutally abused by her husband and entered the ICU.
On April 1, while most people were still in an April Fool's Day joke, a woman lay helplessly in the hospital.
His whole body was full of therapeutic instruments, and he was seriously injured and unconscious.
What is even more shocking is that she was beaten into the hospital by her husband alive. Moreover, this domestic violence has a long history.
It is understood that the woman and her husband have been married for 9 years, but since they got married, her husband has not had a serious job and has a lot of debts.
More than a month before the incident, her husband also borrowed 30,000 yuan from her for owing money.
Despite her unhappy marriage, she remained positive and optimistic. He opened a clothing store, supported himself and his two daughters, and planned to buy a small house after earning money.
However, her efforts did not exchange her husband's deep feelings of pity. It was the husband's intensification of beatings and control.
According to family recollections:
"Huang Jun is a bit perverted, he installed a monitor in my sister's keychain two or three years ago, and also installed a monitor in my sister's clothing store."
She thought about leaving many times, but her family persuaded her to wait until the child was older.
The husband also cried and knelt down every time, tearfully expressing remorse.
So she was pulled back step by step.
However, the tragedy also laid the groundwork at this moment. As if with acquiescence, the husband became more violent each time, and the hands became heavier and heavier.
In the early hours of this morning, he found that his wife's mobile phone had chat records of the opposite sex, and the two clashed.
In front of his 8-year-old daughter, he punched and kicked him until his wife's heart stopped. The 120 hospital personnel who arrived at the scene rescued for more than 20 minutes before recovering their heartbeat.
After being sent to the ICU for rescue for 4 days, he finally died in an ineffective rescue.
Hearing this bad news, her sister was deeply saddened: "I really regret advising her not to divorce." ”
But the awakening at the cost of life is too late.
After watching this incident, many people's first reaction is that there are really demons in this world. You can be so cruel to your wife.
At present, the police have intervened, and there is no doubt that he will be punished with the punishment he deserves.
But I would like to talk more about why in many marital conflicts, the people around me are always "persuaded and not persuaded to leave".
In the traditional view, which couple is not noisy, whose marriage is not stumbling.
Therefore, the people around them always hold, rather than demolish ten temples, do not demolish a marriage attitude, and persuade the people around them.
"Divorce doesn't necessarily lead to better, no house and no car, what do you rely on?"
"Otherwise, if you really divorce the child with an iron heart, you will become a sinner of the child's unfortunate childhood."
At first glance, these words make a lot of sense, but many people overlook a key issue.
Most of the persuasion and dissuasion in life are aimed at the woman.
Women are asked to tolerate violence, infidelity, etc. of men, and to take care of the so-called family for the sake of children.
The second-born mother in the tragedy, the family knows that she is suffering from both physical and mental torture, but still steps back and persuades her to live her life.
Yes, there are still children, they have not had a father around since they were young, and they cannot let children also lack fatherly love.
And her husband, it is also to seize her weakness and beat her again and again.
People, always thinking about their own grievances and tolerance, can be exchanged for the other party's guilt and awakening.
But the reality is that some people are destined to be demons, and your tolerance is not only the indulgence of evil, but also the greatest cruelty to yourself.
Even more tragically, many people, even desperately trying to escape the cage of marriage, still fail under the so-called secular order.
Dong Shanshan, a 26-year-old Beijing girl, was abused by her husband after marriage. In half a year, she has reported to the police 8 times, and has also filed for divorce by agreement and filed for divorce.
But before the layers of mediation were completed, he died under the violence of his husband.
In the eyes of outsiders, marital disputes are family affairs, and it is inevitable that they will be thankless if they intervene.
Instead of this, it is better to be a peacemaker, at least everyone is superficially kind, no matter what, everyone will not blame you.
This kind of behavior seems to be helping, but the action done is actually aiding and abetting abuse, becoming an "accomplice" of evil.
How many women with unhappy marriages want to get rid of them but have no help, and they fall into the abyss.
Of course, we are not advocating that people get divorced when they have problems.
Marriage is not easy, and for any couple, the road is long and difficult, sometimes slap, sometimes sweet.
But will divorce be able to get by? No one can guarantee it.
But the only thing we can be sure of is that not all marriages are worth sticking to, especially when it comes to principle.
At the beginning of this year, a video of domestic violence by Shaanxi executives attracted strong attention and condemnation from hundreds of millions of netizens.
In the video, Wang Pengfei, an executive of a certain company, disregarded the presence of his two-year-old daughter and frantically punched his wife.
The force of the action, even across the screen, is frightening.
The daughter was so frightened that she cried, and the wife held the child tightly in her arms and comforted her, "Don't be afraid of the baby."
But Wang Pengfei not only did not restrain himself, but on the contrary, he fought harder, lifting his wife up and falling heavily on the ground.
Then an old man dressed in red appeared in the video, but she did not come forward to stop it, but took the child and let Wang Pengfei continue to commit violence.
In just a few minutes, suffocating despair swept over me. The cruelty of the husband, the indifference of the family, the cries of the children...
Statistics from the All-China Women's Federation show that:
"30 percent of married women in China have experienced domestic violence, and on average one woman is beaten by her husband every 7.4 seconds."
However, very few people finally came forward to identify the violent acts.
Worried that the husband has left the case, the child needs a father, the family is ugly, and even holds the idea that can change the other party,
He was in prison, did not dare to call for help, did not dare to call the police.
But women, you really don't have to be stupid, domestic violence is only zero times and countless times.
Don't weaken it with words like love, housework, forgive it, or even deny it.
Once a man throws a fist at you, the love between you for each other is no longer there.
Don't be self-sacrificing, everything is for the sake of the child, the child really does not need this kind of good.
Witnessing parents tearing up over and over again, letting them accompany the shadows for life, is the greatest harm to children.
In fact, in recent years, the problem of domestic violence has attracted more and more attention in society.
Domestic violence has never been a private matter, let alone a domestic affair. Violence cloaked in the cloak of "home" is still violence, and it is even more illegal.
Domestic violence victims are not only seriously injured physically, but also suffer psychological oppression, always in fear and fear.
Even a nervous breakdown, suicidal thoughts.
According to the People's Daily, 157,000 women commit suicide every year, 60% of which are due to domestic violence.
In cases of homicide of housewives, domestic violence causes death by more than 40 per cent.
For the vulnerable side, it is far more difficult to escape in the face of violence than outsiders think.
First, a correct understanding of domestic violence is the first step to escape from it.
Domestic violence refers not only to violence caused by physical harm caused by beatings, but also to verbal abuse, intimidation, sexual violence and other mental injuries.
If you are suffering from these harmful behaviors in your marriage, don't be alone and silent, and don't try to change each other.
Don't take a chance, and believe in the rhetoric of the other party afterwards.
Once the violent cycle occurs, it will be difficult to harvest the water, and no matter how reluctant you are, you must learn to stop the loss in time.
Second, more terrible than domestic violence is the acquiescence and concealment of the truth by bystanders.
All the exhortations of "bedside fighting at the end of the bed" and "bear with it and pass" are all cover-ups and encouragements to violence.
Zero tolerance for domestic violence should be the consensus of everyone.
The fact that women are subjected to violence in the family cannot be erased in the form of slime.
Third, in addition, to curb domestic violence, it is more necessary for the whole society to unite for rescue and protection:
(b) Increase the dissemination of the Domestic Violence Act and encourage men to participate in activities against domestic violence;
Early identification and intervention by communities, women's federations and other departments in families at high risk of violence;
Hospitals, clinics and other medical institutions should pay attention to women who may or are suspected of being subjected to violence.
Marriage is not an adventure for women. The family, much less, should be a place to cover up violence.
Maybe we can't extinguish the darkness now, but please don't choose silence either.
But in the end, ten o'clock Jun still wants to say - marriage is not the whole of life, and meeting people is not ladylike does not mean that all disasters will not be restored.
When you have enough courage and confidence to resist the abyss of life, you can completely decide your own life.
Entering marriage is responsible for yourself, and ending marriage is even more responsible for yourself.
Because what really protects you is always yourself.
The author | Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
The anchor | Yanan, radio anchor
Pictures | Visual China, Network (if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)